My boyfriend and I were planning to see a movie tonight. He leaves in a few days for work and he’ll be gone for a month. To preface this I’ll say that I have BPD and I’m also on my period, which he knows. I worked all day today, went grocery shopping, picked up my kids and came home to make dinner. After dinner I went to drop off his dinner at his house and pick up my laundry. I was saying for the last hour that I wanted to shower. We get back to my house and I put my kids to sleep, and I turn on the shower. He’s laying on my bed scrolling on his phone and I ask him to pass me my towel. He pulls on it jokingly about 6 times so I can’t grab it and then I give up and say, I’m gonna shower so you can bring it to me. He says no I won’t. I then am showering and I realize that he’s not going to bring it and doesn’t. So I have to go down the hallway naked and wet to grab my towel and I was angry. He knew I just wanted to shower and relax before the movie. All I wanted. I confront him about it and tell him that his jokes and antagonism go too far and that for him to end up not giving me my towel is not okay for someone who is supposed to care about me. I don’t want to get the hallway all wet and be cold going to get my towel. He said sorry. And I then continued to explain why I was hurt and he said “well you yelled at me. What did you expect? It’s cause and effect.” Mind you I didn’t yell, I just firmly said I was going to go shower because I didn’t want to play tug of war. Needless to say we’re not seeing the movie and he left because he said I was overreacting because I started crying. I was calling him an asshole and basically losing it because I was so frustrated and felt gaslit. He kept saying “you’re mad over a towel” and downplaying my feelings. Am I in the wrong here? He has a history of being antagonistic and going too far.
TLDR; boyfriend withheld my towel and when I gave up to go shower I told him to bring it and he never did. Is this worthy of getting angry over?
Comments
What’s the added value of a partner if they can’t even hand you a fucking towel jfc
He’s sounds really immature. You have enough going on. You need a partner who will make your life easier, not go out of their way to fuck with you for literally no reason.
Why’s it his responsibility to bring you the towel anyways? Why don’t you get it yourself and avoid an entire episode like this? He’s not your minion to do as you please when you say so, and it sounds like he’s just as tired of your shit as you are of his.
You’re not asking for much, and he simply kept pushing your buttons.
Good on you for stepping up and expressing yourself 🙂 You didn’t overreact at all. Your partner was obviously seeing how far he could go till you snapped.
Sorry you had a rough day 🙁
Uh, this is not a relationship I would bother stay in. He doesn’t sound mature enough to be in any relationship, let alone an adult romantic one.
He would rather you be naked after a shower so you will be embarrassed and have to walk out NAKED then give you a towel because….you didn’t want to play with him. I would not ever want this man around my kids. His kind of behavior could really give them the wrong idea on how adults should act.
You having BPD and being on your period has nothing to do with your partner being an asshole to you, so don’t undermine yourself like that. He sounds like he is a gaslighter and he probably knows you’ll second guess yourself and your reactions that way.