I used to think that if I wanted to turn my life around, I had to fix everything all at once. So I’d make a big list: wake up earlier, start working out, meditate daily, eat healthier, cut screen time, journal, build a side hustle, be more social… you get the idea. I’d dive in full of motivation, determined to overhaul my life — and then crash hard a week or two later.
What I’ve learned (both through personal trial and error and working in behavioral science) is that willpower is limited. When we try to change too many things at once, we spread that willpower thin and end up making no real progress in any area. But when we choose one area — just one — that we genuinely care about, and start there, we give ourselves the best shot at success. Progress in that one area builds momentum and confidence to eventually take on more.
It might feel slow. It might feel like you’re not doing “enough.” But if you stick with it, you are changing. And each new habit or shift gets easier to build on the last.
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This is exactly what I do, and it never seems to work out for any long period of time. I go with the mindset that I need to change everything now, or it’s not worth it.. I very much appreciate this comment and will try to put it into practice. One day at a time..
What clicked for me was treating willpower like a muscle that needs rest, not endless reps.
I only want to add that this is good advice. I never really thought about it like that.
100% this!
I started with one big thing and one small thing: working on my PhD and going to the gym three times a week. That’s it, they were my only two goals, and anything else was a bonus if I fancied doing it. I felt much better about myself knowing I could just keep up those two things, and once they didn’t feel like a chore anymore I added more things in one at a time.
One tip I have for this method is making a list of all the things you’d eventually like to do on a regular basis. That way, not only can you see if the amount of things you’re trying to do all at the same time is realistic, you can break things down into different lists. For example, are you working on something which is fun or more a task you find difficult? Is the task something that you could work on forever (e.g. learning French) or a finite goal (e.g. building a dining room table)? How often would I need/want to do this thing, i.e. is it a daily task, weekly, monthly? Then you can prioritise tasks based on these characteristics: Do I want to whittle down my list of finish-able jobs? Or do I have time for a new weekly hobby? Or is there something for professional development I could pick up because I’ve got enough hobbies on the go at the moment?
And acknowledge the improvements you’re doing or noticing, be your own cheerleader. You did good. Heck yeah I did!
I wouldn’t have to worry about thienifnsomeone just sold me a gun or like 50mg of fent
Changing everything at once is like replacing all the water in a fish tank—too much shock.