Some of the content creators my boyfriend watches includes slim women that have large breasts. I don’t have giant boobs, I’m not skinny or toned, and it makes me feel more insecure. There’s this one attractive woman that has big honkers and does ASMR on YouTube. I’ve seen some of the porn he watches and it’s women that have perfectly round bouncy habalonkers with a snatched waist and pretty face. It makes me hate my appearance more than I already do. Today I said I wish I had bigger breasts. He made a joke about suffocating him with them, then said mine are perfect and that he loves everything about me. I know he’s being a good partner by saying that, but I can tell his preference is not my cup size. I can’t cope B)
I know porn is nothing like a relationship. It’s just a quick serotonin boost that helps him get off. He said doing it helps him get a fast release. But still, even with other content like the Youtube lady, it just feels bad. I watch it every once in a while, but it just makes me think of him. Sometimes I feel guilty watching porn because it’s not him, even though I’m not fantasizing about these other men. So I think in the back of my mind I’m like “why don’t you feel guilty too?” I don’t know. I’m an insecure girlfriend that needs to get over it. How do I do that?
Also, we’re a LDR that have visited each other a few times now.
TLDR; I want to get over my long distance boyfriend watching porn, and stop comparing myself to random online big boobied skinny women.