I saw a text that my MIL sent my husband, (I know that I shouldn’t have looked as if it’s none of my business)
In the text which was for my husband’s 30th birthday, she said that my husband is gonna be their little baby forever. A baby won’t ever grow up for his parents and my husband will understand it once her baby girl (referring to my girl in my womb) is born.
It made me really sad.
First she referred to my baby as her daughter (not even OUR daughter but MY daughter)
Second, there wasn’t any mention of me (her wife) in it. Nothing like we look forward to seeing you being happy with your wife or have a happy life with your wife and baby etc.
I didn’t say anything to anyone but it really makes me sad.
Also my husband is the only child and my MIL never had a daughter.
Am I overthinking it? What should I do?
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A lot of boomer grandparents refer to their grandchildren as “their baby.” It’s not (usually…) an attempt to exclude the mother of the baby, it’s just a term of endearment that they don’t see a problem with until it’s pointed out to them. If she continues, you could gently correct her that HER baby is your husband, but you can also try to take it in the spirit with which it’s said.
She probably didn’t mention you because it was a birthday text to your husband, not something she’d expect you to read. I wouldn’t read into that!
This is all said not knowing your MIL obviously and giving her the benefit of the doubt. My husband is one of two sons and boy moms can be a LOT, I can only imagine it’s twofold with an only child!
Be glad. You know exactly what she thinks of you (an incubator) and that she sees herself as the parent. So don’t give her even a centimeter let alone an inch.
You need to get on the same page with your husband on it. Right now, your MIL is looking at you as an object and not a person. You need to nip that shit in the bud immediately. Anytime she says my daughter, you and your husband need to correct her and say no, your granddaughter. She is our daughter (DH and you). It will get worse if you don’t start with the boundaries now.
I would spend as little time with her as possible. It’s confusing for a child, she sounds selfish.
Be more concerned about why your husband did nothing.
Sad? How are you sad? Why aren’t you furious? You need to be… otherwise she will take over.
Please! You cannot do that to your child! It is cruel.
Is she normally rude or dismissive of you? Or was this a slip?
I would say nothing about the message, but start letting her (and others) know about your boundaries regarding your child now.
And if she tries any “how’s my baby girl?” BS once LO is born, clap right back with “I don’t know where she is, but YOUR SON is right over there. MY daughter is here,” or something similar.
Good luck. I’m sorry to say you’ll likely need it, she sounds problematic.