Me (20F) and my boyfriend (2OM) have been together for 2 years, me and his mum never got off on the best start but for the past few months have really grown our relationship, his dad is a really good man, everyone respects him and he’s been in the military, we’ve always got on but my boyfriend thinks the world of him, tonight I came round to the house for a sleepover whilst his mum collected him from a works do, his dad let me in. We sat and chatted for 30 mins waiting for my boyfriend and his mum to come home, during the ends of our connotation when I knew my boyfriend would be coming home soon, his dad who was sat on the far side of the sofa from meet got his penis out, o saw it and panicked looked back at the TV thinking it was an accident. In my peripheral I saw his dad looking at me and touching his penis, I didn’t look and my heart fell on my throat, I honestly think my minds playing tricks on my but I still remember the sounds of my bf coming home and his waistband snapping as he put it away, I’m trying to justify this as an accident I’m so
Scared and I know no one will believe me, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he shut it down instantly and says he can’t believe I would accuse his dad of that, I honestly don’t know what to do, any advice would help so Aitah for breaking up with the love of my life over this?
AITAH if I break up with my boyfriend of 2 years because of what his dad did?
r/AITAH
Comments
Break up with him. You aren’t safe.
wtf???
i agree break up with him
Just because someone has been in the military does not mean they should be respected. The military is often the last option for people who have messed up their life.
You should be thankful of their service, but you do not have to respect them or listen to their uneducated advice.
This sounds like a terrible situation, and unfortunately I dont see this reslolving itself. As horrible as it is I would say leave and make a new start.
RUN! Don’t question what your gut is telling you. This isn’t a safe place to be and if your partner doesn’t believe you the relationship is over.
Run as fast as you can! Don’t look back ever!!!
I’m still at his house right now I’ve thrown up and keep having trouble breathing I don’t know what to do I’m supposed to do a run with his mom tomorrow
Run run run!!! Neither of those men will protect you, and we all know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!! You can tell your boyfriend that’s the reason! Fuck him, and especially fuck his dad, they’re both disgusting!
That man has sexually abused you.
You need to tell your boyfriend, and you need to leave. And if your boyfriend doesn’t do anything about it, you need to break up with that asshole.
HE was planning on rapping you so i would not say you are exagerating.
The father may not approve of you and was a sick way of running you off?
RUNNNNNNN DON’T WALK!
Leave. Now. This will escalate and ruin a bunch of the best years of your life.
The family tree needs pruning ,start with yourself OP!!
Umm, I feel like this is a fake story. But if not, you need to call the police. Whatever your bf does is whatever he does. This isn’t about him, it’s about the fact that you were just sexually assaulted. If he can’t support you because of his division of loyalty, then you are better off 100%.
Like seriously, if this is real, get off Reddit now, call the police, and go file a restraining order against his father.
leave that house as fast as you can. you don’t need any reason for that, you don’t owe them one. if you want to though, text someone you trust that you are in an emergency situation and need to be picked up ASAP. maybe stay on call with that person until they actually pick you up.
leaving your boyfriend won’t ruin your life. staying in this will though. his father sexually assaulted you and he brushes you off. you deserve way better than ANY of this behavior.
I think there is a reason his mom doesn’t get along with her son’s gf. She knows what an AH predator her husband is but makes excuses for him. She wore sexy clothes! Get away from them. As fast as possible. These people are toxic.
Hell no! BF does something or you’re done. I’m really sorry that the thought crossed your mind that you should look the other way. Ewww! 🤮
NTA, but the guy’s dad is. Get away from these people immediately.
NTA. Only if your bf believed you should you even consider continuing this relationship.
Tell your bf that yes, accusing his father of exposing himself to you is exactly what you’re doing. Then break up.
His father is unsafe. Trust your instinct.
It was intentional and you are not safe. Break up with him and tell him why.
Leave him. What his dad did was wrong and thwvfact he doesnt even want to hear you out is wild. Makes you wonder if anything happened to him…
It was not an accident. You are not safe around that man. No matter what you do with boyfriend, you can’t be around the dad anymore. I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is probably “tell an adult” time. You’re NTA.
NTA. Leave and don’t go back.
Leave. There is no fixing this. His dad is pervert
I think we know why his mom doesn’t like you, she knows her husband has a thing for you
No one in that family respects you. Please respect yourself and leave. Make sure to tell him mom “your husband is a pervert. He pulled out his penis and was stroking it while sitting on the couch with me. Just thought you should know who you’re married to”
And leave. I doubt she’ll believe you, but you still need to tell her
If he doesn’t front his father over it. You are not safe in that house.
Then your boyfriend is no better than his father. Do not tolerate it.
Put your foot down. Then if he doesn’t do anything end the relationship.
No, especially since he doesn’t believe u!
What if you had children with this man?! Would you trust his dad to be around them? For all you know he could have abused your Bf!! It’s no way to live your life!!! I’m afraid it’s goodbye Bf!!!
NTA, you told your boyfriend what happened and he didn’t believe you. Time to break up. This was a violation and your boyfriend doesn’t support you.
Dudes a creeper and perving on his son’s gf. GTFO, your bf doesn’t believe you, he’s not a man and he doesn’t have your back.
No. Absolutely no. Besides the disgusting dad pulling out his penis……if your significant other doesn’t believe you…let it go.
OP, if are ever around that man again, have your phone out and ready to record.
NTA. They always make a victim out of the victim. No one will believe you. Get used to it.
The best you can do is break up with the guy who doesn’t believe you. When he asks why you’re breaking up with him, tell him it’s because he thinks you’re a liar and you don’t want to spend the future running into the man who is sexually abusive to someone one one believes.
I’m betting in the future his dad will do it with another girl he brings home and that’s when he’ll finally believe you. Can you imagine what the dad will do to a granddaughter?
Find someone worthy of you. I wish you well.
This made me feel sick just thinking about it. NTA – your safety is the most important thing here
NTA to break up for any reason whatsoever.
NTA. Your boyfriend didn’t believe you that’s enough reason to dump him.
Tell your BF and break up with him.
NTA
Not TAH. Talk to him again, make what happened clear. If he doesn’t take your side, break up. That’s sexual harassment
Break up. Not because of what his dad did, but because of his response. That told you everything you needed to know about him.
Wtf???
NTA
Send your bf a text message. You dont owe him a meet in person for this.
” Hello, after trying to talk to you about the incident the other night with your father’s incredibly inappropriate behaviour, and your response, I just can’t be with you anymore. Your father’s actions were a sexual assault and you sat there and completely dismissed it and put it back on myself. I can’t be with someone who thinks like you, and I certainly dont feel safe in your house anymore. Please don’t contact me again. “
If his mother reaches out to you, tell her that you’re not sure if her husband suffers from any behavioural issues from his military bouts, but he displayed himself in a sexual manner at their place the other night and you no longer feel safe.
Break up with the boyfriend if he won’t hear it or doesn’t believe you, and file charges on the dad for exposing himself no matter what your boyfriend’s take on it is. I’ll bet you aren’t the first young lady he’s done that to. And maybe his family has heard it before and are in denial. Always do the right thing. Always speak the truth. It is important that you stand up for yourself. You have a long life ahead of you and as a woman and as a person…perhaps someday a wife or a mom, it is a GOOD thing to feel confident and bold in standing up for your truth!!
Good God do not go back to that house do not get near this guy’s father. That is scary as hell. Break up with the boyfriend if he’s not going to protect you you don’t need him as a boyfriend.
NTA and break up with him. What reason would you have to make up something like that? The fact that your bf is refusing to believe you and blaming you for falsely accusing his dad is a big red flag. Leave him. He does not have your back. And tbh the only reason you think your mind is playing tricks on you is because you don’t want to believe that this man who you trusted could do something like that. You don’t want to believe that he deliberately exposed himself sexually to you when it was just you alone in the house with him. You’re in shock, disbelief and denial. If his dad escalates this behaviour next time, then what? Do you really want to wait to be assaulted? Because trust that your bf will not believe you. In fact if anything does happen his dad can easily said you came on to him and who do you think your bf will believe given his reaction right now?
It’s hard, but you have to speak up. This exact scenario could’ve happened to others and for sure will happen to more.
You’re not safe in that environment. If your boyfriend doesn’t believe you and just defends his dad, you were never safe with him either, you just know it now.
Get help, tell every person that could help you and the police. NTA.
Your BF shut you down because deep down, he knows his dad’s a creep. It’s possible your BF was even sexually abused as a child. I would break up with your BF. The fact that he didn’t take you seriously is a red flag and indicates he does not have your back. He is more concerned about his relationship with his dad than your safety. NTA
The dad did this because he knows his son won’t believe you. This is not the right family for you. Dads a sicko
Dump your boyfriend he doesn’t have your back and his dad cannot be trusted.
The dad is ABSOLUTELY NOT a “really good man” and anyone who respects him is either an idiot or has been deceived by him.
If your boyfriend doesn’t believe you or won’t at least hear you out, he is also not a good man and is certainly not worthy of you calling him “the love of your life”.
They both sound like toxic, sexist arseholes. No one accidentally wanks off next to their kid’s girlfriend, and no one excuses that, unless they are disgusting.
This will only escalate. Leave now and never speak to any of these horrible nasty little people ever again.
Be done. Leave. He’s not the love of your life. He won’t even listen to you or protect you. You need to tell his Mom the reason you’re breaking up with her son. She deserves to know. She’ll probably defend him too, but deep down she knows. You more than likely aren’t the first
Would a reach around be possible?
Girl, you saw what you saw, and you heard what you heard. You need to learn now, trust your gut. He did what he did, your boyfriend shut it down instantly, get out. I speak from experience, it won’t stop there. That is only the beginning. Please.
Never be around that man again and if anyone asks why, don’t sugar coat it, tell them.
Ewww! That’s got to be a deal breaker. Would you feel safe alone in the house with his Dad again? His Dad is testing your boundaries. He knew there was a possibility you would see and still did it. Why? He probably knows that nobody there would believe you over him. Scary stuff.
If he won’t believe you, yes, stay away from him and his dad until the truth is resolved. Until he knows his dad did it and addresses that.
If the BF won’t believe you, and you were truly, to your soul honest this scumbag exposed himself. I cannot see a future for you with this guy
So sorry !
Yeah, if doesn’t believe you, there is no real way forward
here’s an idea: Secretly record a conversation with his dad about him taking his penis out in front of you. Get him to admit he did it with no ambiguity. Then play the recording for your boyfriend.
Possible script:
“It really freaked me out when you took your dick out in front of me the other night”.
“I’m sorry. I won’t do that again”.
Girl dump him
It’s not your BF fault so why hurt him. You need to call a family meeting and discuss it. Tell your BF how serious this is. He’s obviously in disbelief.
Break up he is not the love of your life. His dad has done this before. If you tell you
Might save another girl from this predator.
You can’t go to his house ever.
Tell your parent. Break up.
If something like this ever happens again, get up immediately and leave. I know the feeling of being so stunned you can’t believe it’s happening. Now you’ve experienced it so if there’s a next time, you know better.
Tell 5hem you feel sick and want to go home. Call an uber if you have to.
Sweetheart, number one, it wasn’t an accident.
Number two, if he doesn’t believe you when you report sexual assault, he is not the love if your life.
If you stay, this won’t be the last time. Your boyfriend’s dad will do it again, and he’ll do worse. And when that happens, your boyfriend will once again doubt you and side with his father.
You won’t be breaking up with your boyfriend because of his dad’s actions. You’ll be breaking up with him because he doesn’t believe you when you report sexual assault. He’s not going to defend you and you are not safe.
UPDATEME
Your boyfriend doesn’t believe you and wouldn’t protect you if his dad assaults you.
Yes, you need to break up with him
NTA
NTA. Break up. I promise you, this guy who thinks you’d lie about his Dad like that isn’t “the love of your life”. Imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t walked in when he did? Were you about to get raped? If you had been, would your boyfriend have been on your side, or would he have helped ensure his Dad got away with it? I think you know the answer.
You are NOT SAFE in this relationship. Time to move on.
Absolutely not you wouldn’t be leaving him bc of what his dad did you’re leaving because of what HE did. You tried to tell him your dad sexually abused you and he told you to kick rocks?!? Nah
You don’t stop telling the truth. What other young girls has he done
that to? If your boyfriend doesn’t believe you then he’s not worth trusting and his mom needs to know the sicko she’s married to.
Don’t be around his dad ever again.
He will attack you. Leave while you can
NTA STAY SAFE
NTA. Since your BF doesn’t believe you, you shouldn’t stay. If he had listened and agreed to go NC with his pervert dad, you might have had a chance.
Yeah. You’re gonna have to tell him that you can’t be with him because of that
this is one of the worst things i’ve read on Reddit.
run away from this family
Get real. You know that a man doesn’t take his dick out of his pants accidentally. The old man is a pervert. If your boyfriend thinks you’re lied about what happened, your relationship is doomed. Cut your losses and dump this guy and his pervy family.
I understand how hard & confusing this is for you. Something so similar, almost exactly the same story other than it not being his dad, it was another family member, happened to me. You are not crazy. You did nothing wrong. You are the victim. You have told your boyfriend what happened. If he chooses not to believe you & not to protect you, you have to break up. And it would be 100% his fault you two broke up too. You can not let his dad stay in your life at all. It will most definitely escalate if you allow it. Who knows what the dad will do to you. Or what if you get married & have kids? Your boyfriend would want your kids around his dad. Would you feel safe with a man like that around your daughter? It will hurt, but it will NOT ruin your life. You will survive. Eventually, you’ll find a man that will love you & have your back unconditionally.
Yeah it’s time to run as far away from them as you can
Not that this excuses anything, but is it possible that the dad has some form of dementia that might cause or allow him to do something like this without thinking it through? It’s not an excuse, but could be a reason. If not, I agree with other posters. If your boyfriend won’t take you seriously that’s just a red flag you don’t need in your life.
Never go back to your boyfriend’s house. You are not safe there. I would take it a step further and tell you to break up with your boyfriend because his dad is not a safe person and he doesn’t believe you. However, much love you think you’re feeling for your boyfriend is not worth you getting sexually assaulted.
I had someone do that to me. It is 100% deliberate. How can we know for sure? Because if it were an accident, then he would’ve been unaware, and he wouldn’t have immediately put his penis away when your BF came home. The fact he instantly put his dick away and snapped his waistband real quick- he knew exactly what TF he was doing. Don’t ever doubt yourself, gurl. You know what you saw, and he’s not safe. You don’t have to do anything, but you can absolutely report this to the police. I would.
He didn’t believe you. Break up.
You are not safe around the dad. If he automatically shuts you down that’s a red flag. I’d leave asap. Rather be safe than sorry. That is so awful and I’m sorry you had to go through that
Dump his ass
NTA
It was not an accident, it was sexual assault.
It will only escalate.