My (24F) husband (25M) went on a weeklong backpacking trip in the Wind River Range with a friend of his, “Jake” (23M). They’d been planning this for months, spent a lot on gear, and the plan was to hike the route together. Jake would drive them both back to Utah afterward, since they were taking Jake’s car.
On the first night of the trip, they got into a disagreement. My husband wanted to stay on pace and complete the hike as planned, and Jake didn’t feel comfortable continuing on. My husband offered to slow the pace and shorten the trip to compromise, but Jake refused — and instead left the trail the next morning, solo, and drove back to Utah without him (taking their only vehicle/way home).
Jake later agreed to return and pick up my husband after he finished the hike. But then he said he didn’t want to drive his truck all the way back and asked us to help cover a rental. We all agreed I would cover $100 toward the cost of that, and Jake was on board.
Then the day before pickup, Jake messaged me asking for $200 instead. He said he was turning down a work shift to go and wanted the full cost covered. My husband had gotten brief service earlier and told me not to give Jake more than $100 — not only because that was the original agreement, but because he was worried Jake would try to get more money out of me. He was right.
I told Jake I could only do the $100 we agreed on, and he immediately backed out of picking my husband up — less than 24 hours before pickup. My husband had no service so I couldn’t even tell him what was happening. Jake didn’t seem to care.
So I’ve been scrambling from Nevada all day to figure something out. Thankfully, my mom is now going to drive out to get him. But I’m furious. Jake abandoned my husband not even 24 hours into the backpacking trip, changed the plan, demanded more money, and then backed out altogether when he didn’t get it — knowing my husband would be stranded and unreachable.
Some people have said I should’ve just paid the $200 to keep him safe, but it felt like extortion at that point, and I don’t think I should reward behavior like that. I’ve since blocked Jake. But I’m still wondering…
AITA for not giving in and paying the extra $100 — and for cutting Jake off completely after what he did?
Comments
Blocking him was the right move. Anyone saying u should’ve paid doesn’t understand what manipulation looks like 😤
Well for starters Jake is a loser!! I hope that friendship is through! In the end it worked out and your husband got safely picked up SO THE $200 is irrelevant. I wouldn’t have paid him shit! I would have lost my ever loving mind on him for abandoning my husband out there. I have to wonder what their disagreement was.
NTA. What a malicious loser. Thank God your mom is able to rescue your husband.
he left ur husband stranded twice and tried to pressure u for more money last minute. that’s not a friend, that’s someone taking advantage. u had every right to say no and block him. protecting ur boundaries doesn’t make u the bad guy 💯
There’s no guarantee that demands would have stopped at $200. I hope your husband is safely home and has ended his friendship with Jake.
NTA You found a safer and more sane resolution to the issue. No actual friend would ever do this. Jake is a scam artist and your hubby needs to steer clear of him.
NTA You worked it out. Jake should never have left him and driving to pick him up and missing a shift was all on him. In the future look into renting a satellite phone for your husband when he goes into the wilderness. Not having contact is not good. And obviously, Jake is an ex-friend.
he bailed on ur husband twice, changed the plan, tried to squeeze more money out of u, and left him stranded. that’s not a friend that’s someone selfish and unreliable.cutting him off was the right move
How was it your responsibility to pay anything?
Take Jake to small claims court.
I would want my $100 back as well. You made a deal and he broke it leaving him stranded he is a pretty awful person to do that.
Talk the police. Sounds like extortion and reckless endangerment. NTA
No, t tag
NTA.
Jake knew what he was doing. He may have left because he was uncomfortable, but he knew that he could make money off of the both of you by leveraging where they were hiking at. It would be $200, then ehhh I forgot to put gas in my truck and it needs an oil change $400, overnight, etc. It was extortion.
Permanently block Jake and time out those who said you should have paid.
What a horrible person. What even was the argument? This whole thing could’ve been even worse by the sounds of Jake’s lack of empathy and logic
Youre only the AH for calling Jake your husband’s friend. Thats not a friend.
I appreciate everyone calling Jake a loser. But let’s be real: He’s blackmailing you for money using your husband’s life and welfare as a bargaining chip. That isn’t loser behavior—that’s borderline if not actually criminal. Do not give this man a cent or a minute more. Because he WILL do this again if it works the first time.
NTA. Jake was trying to extort you. What guarantee would you have that he would pickup your husband if you gave him the $200? His word? You already know he doesn’t keep his word. He put your husband in danger and did not care.
Tell your friends group exactly what happened. This is a time to put someone on blast so everyone knows what kind of friend Jake is. Drop anyone who thinks you are overreacting or sides with Jake.
Jake is not a friend. Jake is a wuss. He’s just a jerk. He’s off the list of people we call friends. He OWES YOU MONEY. He owes your mom money for gas to get your husband. He owes you $100 because he never got your husband.
No Christmas cards. No gifts. No nothing. What a dick. How can a guy be a pussy and a dick at the same time?
NTA, your husband predicted this and asked you not to pay. You didn’t abandon your husband you got him covered. You both learned that Jake is not to be trusted and is not a friend.
NTA. Fck Jake! He can sit and spin on a cactus!! Block that loser and tell your husband that if he messes with that fool again, then he will be on his own!
NTA. Ex-friend, and I hope your husband had ALL of his gear on him. If Jake has anything, you should report it stolen. What an AH.
I’m curious about what happened that made Jake decide that he didn’t feel comfortable continuing on the hike. Both of them probably could have done better in that disagreement–unless Jake was feeling ill or injured or he realized that he didn’t have essential gear, he probably could have pushed through–but it was a real dick move on his part to just leave him stranded. If he needed to go back to the vehicle to tap out, he should have gotten a hotel or set up a tent/slept in the car and picked up OP’s husband at the end of the trail, not gone home.
Just leaving someone stranded on a trail is dangerous. Solo backpacking is not the best idea, either, but if OP’s husband really felt like he couldn’t do it solo, I imagine he would have turned around with Jake.
Updateme OP and I hope you got your $100 back! Jake is no friend and I hope your husband cuts him off!
NTA
The only AH here is Jake.
Wipe the family’s hands of this clown and move on.
As someone who lives in the mountains, this makes me angry. You should always have a buddy in the wilderness. Bad things happen pretty quickly and Jake abandoned your husband. You were right about the money. That’s just rewarding bad behavior.
ESH- both boys
At first, your husband was the AH because once his trip buddy made the realization he could not complete the hike they BOTH should have left together. That’s the proper and safe way to conduct activities like this in the wilderness. Your husband decided to continue on a hike by himself without the proper equipment, like GPS and back up plan, to conduct a solo hike safely! Yes it’s disappointing and frustrating, but it was the safest and smartest move to make and then try again another time together or your husband make the appropriate plans to hike alone. Would he have continued on if Jake got hurt and couldn’t?? This is no different. If something feels off, you play it safe and don’t proceed.
Then the friend was an AH by agreeing to pick him up before leaving and then backing out. Also by agreeing to split the cost and then backing out again.
They are BOTH AH for putting you in the middle of this fight. Jake shouldn’t be trying to get extra money out of you and your husband should’ve made the choice to return home WITH his friend when the friend needed to bail for whatever reason.
NTA
Don’t pay him anything. Leave that for HB to handle. And I hope he doesn’t pay AssHole a dime. He did a round trip and forced you to do a round trip… Sounds even to me!
That’s literally a crime my friend
He wouldn’t have worked the $200 shift if he had stuck to the original timeline.
NTAH. Jake is a POS loser. Good he is no longer your friend. Good riddance.
Jake the snake