I (20M) matched a girl on hinge (21F) and I’m struggling to have any interest. We matched about a month ago and I’ve been trying to get her on a date pretty much every weekend since. I finally got her to agree to one for tomorrow. We have conflicting work schedules, so I’m not upset about that but it’s worth noting.
She’s a pretty dry texter, it’s been hard to get anything out of her that’s not a basic response or a “hbu.” She hardly asks questions about me. The one time she did, I tried my best to give an open ended answer to let her ask more or turn the conversation in a different direction. That didn’t happen. The only thing we have in common is that we both have cats and her hobbies are “hanging out with friends.” We’ve gone several days without texting a few times.
She’s absolutely gorgeous and our morals align but I’m struggling to find any reason to go on a date with her besides that. I’m not entirely sure why I asked her out tbh out and I don’t want to ghost her but I’m not looking forward to tomorrow 😅
Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Should I cancel it or give her a shot in person to see if she’s any different? What do I say if I decide to cancel?
TL;DR:
She’s very dry, we have nothing in common but our values align. Do I cancel the date and how?
Thanks!
Comments
>I’m not entirely sure why I asked her out tbh outÂ
Neither am I, particularly as it’s taken so much effort to even find a time when you were both available!
You don’t need to ghost her, You can just say “hey, I don’t think we’re really clicking like we should. I don’t want to waste your time, so it’s probably best we cancel the date”. Yes, her feelings might be hurt but there’s no way to ensure that won’t happen.
Or you can go on the date and see if she’s any better in person. But you wouldn’t be wrong if you just cancelled it right now. You can not date someone for any reason you wish.
I don’t think it’s worth it, a month trying to setup a real date, and she doesn’t look interested through messages.
You could always go on the date with no expectations. Maybe she’s bad at texting. Could be fireworks in person. Or you could cancel, just do so ASAP.
On one hand, some people aren’t great texters and you’ve already put in a month. On the other hands, it’s likely that she’ll be as dry in person. And it’s reasonable to want someone who’ll put in some effort into getting to know you. However… are you willing to take a flyer on a hot chick? You may feel it’s worth it just for the experience. If you’re not doing anything else tomorrow and you won’t miss the money, I’d go ahead and keep the date. But chances are slim it will lead to anything
A lot of folks are bad texters and her texting might not be indicative of how well she converses in-person. I would suggest, for any first dates, to plan something that is brief and cheap, like grabbing a coffee or a short walk in the park – that way there’s no big loss of time or money if you two don’t click. If you’re feeling her once you get talking IRL, you can always extend the date to something more substantial, like dinner or whatever.
I mean, you already put in this effort to get the date tomorrow. I see no reason why you shouldn’t just…go.
I don’t really anticipate it’ll lead to anything, but hey, it’s worth a shot. What I wouldn’t do is keep trying to chase her down for another date, if she doesn’t start expressing more interest/enthusiasm.