The singleparents/singlemoms sub won’t let me post so I have to post in here.
I am a childless man in my 30s. I have been dating a single mom for almost 3 years and we are long distance living in different states.
She has 4 kids each with a different father and all of them suffer from traumas from their past. None of the men gave a penny of child support.
Right now she’s at the point where her soul is tired, her body is broken, and she’s just surviving every day.
I gave her all my life savings, about $60k-$70k.
My question is how long should I wait before she allows me to get to know her kids. She tried that at the very beginning of the relationship where I met her oldest kid, the son for a few times, and saw some of her daughters through video calls briefly, very few times. Then things fell apart afterwards when her health started deteriorating rapidly.
I am not allowed to step into her house once. (The other men moved in within 3 months or less. She was young when she had her past relationships in her 20s).
Yesterday we had another fight because many issues left unresolved. She once again iterated that she won’t push her kids.
Is it normal for a new partner to never be integrated into the family after 3 years counting? I feel that even if I stay for 10 years, the situation will never improve.
I can’t leave her because she’s literally dying and has no one. I keep holding on hoping that one day she finally sees me. I feel invisible in this relationship where I carve my heart out for her but she’s drowning in her own struggles, sickness, pains and traumas.
She never visited me once while I made all the trips to her and paid for all the travel expenses myself. She spends less and less time with me from these trips. The worst was I stayed in the hotel for a week and she met me for 30 minutes in the entire trip.
I will continue to do what needs to be done to support her but my soul is also tired and depleted.
TL;DR – How long should I wait until my partner allows me get to know her kids? It’s been 3 years counting and I am still not allowed to step into her house once or meet all of her kids in-person. Is that normal? I need some answers from other single parents. Thank you so much.
Comments
Sorry to have to tell you but you are very clearly being scammed how is this a relationship?
‘I gave her all my life savings, about $60k-$70k.’
Why????
‘The worst was I stayed in the hotel for a week and she met me for 30 minutes in the entire trip’
????
Why are you continuing to invest emotionally and financially into this relationship? Stop torturing yourself.
>She has 4 kids each with a different father and all of them suffer from traumas from their past. None of the men gave a penny of child support.
>Right now she’s at the point where her soul is tired, her body is broken, and she’s just surviving every day.
>I gave her all my life savings, about $60k-$70k.
Excuse me, but what are you doing?
I think you have literally zero dating experience, and you got “together” with the first woman that paid a little attention to you, you’re in for a spicy ride.
Firstly, no, this is not “normal” for single parents, as I’m sure you must know.
Secondly, I’m not sure this is a real relationship. At least, not anymore, if it ever was. Under what circumstances did you give her your life savings? How often do you guys meet now? From the info provided, this looks a lot like she was using you for your money. Are you really sure she is dying? How do you know?
Buddy you got scammed.
The post is how long should you wait…
The answer is over 2 years ago, unfortunately. Anyone serious enough to be kept around multiple years should be at least somewhat familiar with the kids IMO.