communicating with partners to ask what they like and don’t like and asking for feedback or suggestions for fun things to try together has served me well
You listen, show caring and protection towards the person you are with. Also know what you like and communicate that. Don’t let someone trample all over you. Also be giving as well.
Being in reasonable shape endurance wise not really looks wise and being clean and pleasant also helps.
Every partner will be different. I have a scant number of past partners (less than 3) and I’m 46. My boyfriend however has had dozens more than me but supposedly he’s happier in bed with me then anyone else (and for the record I’m very vanilla.)
It’s like the Wegovy ad where they all say “I just asked”. I ask my partner all the time – does this feel good, do you like this? I pay attention to the sounds they make, so I can tell the difference between pain and pleasure. Some people sound really similar expressing the two. I tell and show them what I like. I make noises to confirm that I like something. I experiment. I read up about sex. Enthusiasm is big. Try not to ask “did you cum” but ask “is this getting you close”.
And then practice practice practice. Some skills are pretty transferable across all partners, some are specific to the person.
For the amount of partners I’ve had, I’m not that good, but I get positive feedback and responses from the partners I’ve had, and a lot of them stick around in my life.
If you have a partner you can communicate about likes and dislikes. If you only have a friends with benefit, you could also communicate.
What does better mean to you?
What do you expect?
Let your fantasy run wild and see what turns you on and try it out with a partner. If you happen to be in a relationship with a fragile person, things might get slightly more difficult. But I don’t know your exact situation. Have fun.
Sex is not like playing the piano, where an outsider can necessarily objectively go, “this person is not very good at it, but this person is excellent at it.” Different people like different things. In my experience, sex becomes more pleasurable between two people the longer they are together/having sex, because they get to know each other’s bodies and each other’s likes and dislikes. But what one person really likes may not be at all what the next person you have sex with likes.
The best sex advice I’ve ever heard is: don’t do something with someone that you wouldn’t be comfortable discussing with them. So ask your partner what they like, what they don’t like, what they want to try. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, so for me personally, having sex with a person I otherwise enjoy doing fun things with and with whom I have good communication is really important.
I don’t watch porn. Be in tune with your body. Take your time to see what you like. Close your eyes and enjoy and do what feels good, be sensual. Sex is an action. That’s how I got good in my opinion lol. I love sex in the right context. I love orgasming. I’m enthusiastic, I want to please and be pleased.
“Good at sex” is an attitudinal thing, because different people like different techniques and approaches so there’s always a learning curve with every new partner anyway. The things that make a person fundamentally good in bed are qualities like enthusiasm, good communication skills, generosity, emotional attunedness, kindness and compassion.
But in terms of actual technique stuff, I trust queer and trans sex educators the most on that. Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon is a great read, for example.
A lot of trial and error. For my husband and I, we just talk to each other and explore different things. He knows what turns me on and vice versa. We sometimes try new things to see if its something we both like – sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. But its fun either way and we both have a good sense of humor about it.
Asking my partners if they like what I do and if there’s anything else they’d which I’d do, worked for me. Ime male partners had zero issue being honest about what they like or don’t like. Like I’ve been told “can you suck harder” or “I’d like it if you move more during intercourse” etc. Then learning what men in general tend to like, through youtube, reddit, etc, can help as well. And learning some male anatomy, ie what the most sensitive parts of male genitals are. And obviously having a willing partner who’d be happy to practice with you helps a lot as well.
Try stuff and observe his reaction. If its a great reaction, I take note to do that more often. If minimum to no reaction, I stop doing it and try something different
I mean mfs can always improve but I ain’t get any complaints… it ain’t rocket science, you ever think to just get outta yo head—that might be the issue but idk that’s on you.
Spend some time with yourself. Learn what you like. Then spend some time with your imagination. Like a lot of time. Think about how different scenarios would play out. Could you enjoy this or that? Just imagine different things and see if you are able to allow them to turn you on. Imagine being dominant, passive, role-playing, slow, fast, in different rooms, public, private, with different people (heights, weights, new fwb, old crushes…).. just mix it up and challenge yourself to imagine enjoying as much variety as possible. Learn what your limits are. Then work on your confidence. Imagine looking your partner in the eye, telling them directly what you want to do to them or asking them directly if they want xyz. Imagine taking your clothes off with your shoulders back and your head up, not covering your stomach or apologizing for your flaws. Imagine showing yourself off and grabbing their hands and putting them on you. Then when you’ve done all that in your head a hundred times and it’s familiar, try it irl.
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communicating with partners to ask what they like and don’t like and asking for feedback or suggestions for fun things to try together has served me well
I mean it really depends on your partner.
You listen, show caring and protection towards the person you are with. Also know what you like and communicate that. Don’t let someone trample all over you. Also be giving as well.
Being in reasonable shape endurance wise not really looks wise and being clean and pleasant also helps.
Every partner will be different. I have a scant number of past partners (less than 3) and I’m 46. My boyfriend however has had dozens more than me but supposedly he’s happier in bed with me then anyone else (and for the record I’m very vanilla.)
It’s like the Wegovy ad where they all say “I just asked”. I ask my partner all the time – does this feel good, do you like this? I pay attention to the sounds they make, so I can tell the difference between pain and pleasure. Some people sound really similar expressing the two. I tell and show them what I like. I make noises to confirm that I like something. I experiment. I read up about sex. Enthusiasm is big. Try not to ask “did you cum” but ask “is this getting you close”.
And then practice practice practice. Some skills are pretty transferable across all partners, some are specific to the person.
For the amount of partners I’ve had, I’m not that good, but I get positive feedback and responses from the partners I’ve had, and a lot of them stick around in my life.
Communication – internal and external; verbal and, more importantly, non-verbal. And an open, curious mind.
If you have a partner you can communicate about likes and dislikes. If you only have a friends with benefit, you could also communicate.
What does better mean to you?
What do you expect?
Let your fantasy run wild and see what turns you on and try it out with a partner. If you happen to be in a relationship with a fragile person, things might get slightly more difficult. But I don’t know your exact situation. Have fun.
> How do you know how good in bed you are
Sex is not like playing the piano, where an outsider can necessarily objectively go, “this person is not very good at it, but this person is excellent at it.” Different people like different things. In my experience, sex becomes more pleasurable between two people the longer they are together/having sex, because they get to know each other’s bodies and each other’s likes and dislikes. But what one person really likes may not be at all what the next person you have sex with likes.
The best sex advice I’ve ever heard is: don’t do something with someone that you wouldn’t be comfortable discussing with them. So ask your partner what they like, what they don’t like, what they want to try. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, so for me personally, having sex with a person I otherwise enjoy doing fun things with and with whom I have good communication is really important.
Enthusiasm
I don’t watch porn. Be in tune with your body. Take your time to see what you like. Close your eyes and enjoy and do what feels good, be sensual. Sex is an action. That’s how I got good in my opinion lol. I love sex in the right context. I love orgasming. I’m enthusiastic, I want to please and be pleased.
Listen to each other calmly and openly and then keep practising. 🙂
“Good at sex” is an attitudinal thing, because different people like different techniques and approaches so there’s always a learning curve with every new partner anyway. The things that make a person fundamentally good in bed are qualities like enthusiasm, good communication skills, generosity, emotional attunedness, kindness and compassion.
But in terms of actual technique stuff, I trust queer and trans sex educators the most on that. Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon is a great read, for example.
Watch the experts lol that grapefruit video start there
A lot of trial and error. For my husband and I, we just talk to each other and explore different things. He knows what turns me on and vice versa. We sometimes try new things to see if its something we both like – sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. But its fun either way and we both have a good sense of humor about it.
Ask what your partner likes and what gets them going.
I don’t. I’m a pillow princess, that’s kinda the gig
Just don’t do the starfish and don’t be afraid to be on top to take charge other than that you have to ask them what they like
When I started focusing more on my pleasure, and being more direct/communicative.
Get on top and spell coconut with your hips
Asking my partners if they like what I do and if there’s anything else they’d which I’d do, worked for me. Ime male partners had zero issue being honest about what they like or don’t like. Like I’ve been told “can you suck harder” or “I’d like it if you move more during intercourse” etc. Then learning what men in general tend to like, through youtube, reddit, etc, can help as well. And learning some male anatomy, ie what the most sensitive parts of male genitals are. And obviously having a willing partner who’d be happy to practice with you helps a lot as well.
I read a lot of Cosmopolitan magazine as a teen.
Lots of practice and trying new things.
Try stuff and observe his reaction. If its a great reaction, I take note to do that more often. If minimum to no reaction, I stop doing it and try something different
I mean mfs can always improve but I ain’t get any complaints… it ain’t rocket science, you ever think to just get outta yo head—that might be the issue but idk that’s on you.
Read Cosmopolitan religiously. Lol jk. But remember…
Spend some time with yourself. Learn what you like. Then spend some time with your imagination. Like a lot of time. Think about how different scenarios would play out. Could you enjoy this or that? Just imagine different things and see if you are able to allow them to turn you on. Imagine being dominant, passive, role-playing, slow, fast, in different rooms, public, private, with different people (heights, weights, new fwb, old crushes…).. just mix it up and challenge yourself to imagine enjoying as much variety as possible. Learn what your limits are. Then work on your confidence. Imagine looking your partner in the eye, telling them directly what you want to do to them or asking them directly if they want xyz. Imagine taking your clothes off with your shoulders back and your head up, not covering your stomach or apologizing for your flaws. Imagine showing yourself off and grabbing their hands and putting them on you. Then when you’ve done all that in your head a hundred times and it’s familiar, try it irl.
Communication and enthusiasm
Generosity, reciprocation, passion, open-minded, communication.
Your partner will let you know if you’re good in bed.
Be present. That’s the main thing. Be engaged and in the moment.
Practice with many different men. Like women, men are not all the same and penises aren’t either.