My 21F friend is involved with a 33M who has a fiancé but gives her a lot of attention and intimacy. She doesn’t know if he’s genuine or manipulating her.

So my friend is in a really confusing and emotionally intense situation right now and I’m genuinely worried for her. I wanted to post here to get some outside perspective for her.

Basically she met this guy who’s her best friend’s cousin. He’s around 12 years older than her. When she first saw him she was really impressed he’s respectful, kind, successful, and everything she’s always admired. He gave her his number because he’s in a career path she also wants to pursue so initially it was more about mentorship.

Later he invited her to an event and she went. After that he started texting her on whatsapp and they began flirting. It’s been about a month now and they’ve been talking constantly every single day. He gives her a lot of attention and seems genuinely interested.

But here’s the catch: he already has a girlfriend. My friend knew about this from the beginning but he told her that he doesn’t love the girlfriend anymore that their relationship happened due to circumstances and even claimed that his family doesn’t approve of the girlfriend.

About 20-25 days into talking my friend started feeling guilty especially since the other girl has apparently been with him for 2-3 years. So she confronted him (pretending she just found out) and he reassured her that there’s nothing real between them anymore and they barely even talk.

Now here’s where things get complicated: He’s been saying things like they’re more than just friends though he’s never officially called her his girlfriend. He says he’ll explain everything about the other girl when they meet (which is supposed to be soon) and even suggested they twin outfits when they meet. He’s said things like he wants to sleep with her and “make love” to her and while it sounds sweet and intense it’s making her confused and scared.

Recently my friend’s best friend told her that the guy’s family actually gave a ring to his current girlfriend and that everyone assumes they’re getting married. When she asked him about it, he just brushed it off and said “it’s not like that” and repeated that he’ll explain in person.

Now she’s torn. Part of her feels like he really cares about her but another part fears that he might just be using her emotionally and physically while keeping the other relationship stable for his family. She’s scared of being manipulated or heartbroken.

She really needs advice. Is she being naive here? Could he be genuine or does this scream red flag?

TL;DR: My 21 year old friend started talking to her best friend’s 33 year old cousin who already has a girlfriend. He says he doesn’t love the girlfriend and flirts with my friend constantly even talking about intimacy and future plans. But his family apparently gave a ring to the other girl and he keeps dodging the topic. My friend’s scared he’s just using her emotionally and physically. She doesn’t know what to believe anymore.