My (34f) husband (31m) is a picky eater and it’s affecting our marriage

My (34f) husband (31m) is a picky eater and it’s affecting our marriage.

My husband is an amazing cook. Everyone loves the food he makes. Unfortunately he holds the same standards for others’ cooking and does not enjoy cooking himself every day. So he’s constantly disappointed or hungry. It’s driving me mad that he won’t either eat the food I make or make himself something simple.

We’ve been together for 9 years and married for 4. Now have a 2 year old child together. Important to mention that we’re from different countries, different cultures, different religions and had very different childhoods. Despite this, we share the same goals in life, the same central values and the same attitude to parenting.

For a few years we were in a long distance relationship, so the food thing was never an issue. Then we lived in my country with my father and took turns cooking meals each night. Also no issues. I guess he wanted to make a good impression on my father and would eat everything either of us made. Now we have moved permanently to his country (his home village) he will only eat food from his culture that has been prepared well.

Here, it’s still common that women cook meals 3 times a day for their family. He knew from the start that I would never be that kind of wife. I have tried learning from his sister the past few years but it never tastes the same and the disappointment on his face makes me no longer want to bother. I could spend hours cooking and he’ll eat a tiny bit then make another meal just for himself a few hours later. It feels like a massive waste of time for both of us.

I’m not a picky eater. I’ll eat anything. I do not enjoy cooking but will make sure our child and I have food and keep things fairly simple. We live remote and don’t have access to a shop – only markets once a week. I already struggle with not having access to familiar ingredients and figuring out what I can actually prepare. There is only one “restaurant ” where we can eat and it gets very boring eating the same 2 meals there several times a week.

He’s never explicitly asked me to cook more but he does complain a lot that he’s hungry and I just want to hear a solution that he’d be happy with. I’ve tried asking “what do you want to eat” and he won’t have an answer. He literally won’t eat food from any other culture. All I want is for us to be able to eat dinner together in the evenings.

Things I’ve tried:
– cooking food from his culture – disappointment that the flavour isn’t right
– cooking food that I’m familiar with – won’t eat it or eats only a little and needs something with rice later anyway
– asking him to cook – which he does maybe 2 or 3 times a week (these days are happy for everyone!)
– paying his sister to cook – he thinks she’s too busy to do that for us
– cooking just for myself and letting him go hungry – grumpy hungry husband bringing the vibes down for everyone else

What to do??

Tl;dr: husband has high standards for food and won’t come up with a solution. It’s a constant cause of conflict and I’ve run out of ideas to try.