To cut a long story short. My best friend (28) has been dating her new bf for around 10 months now. He’s a walking 🚩and the relationship has been pretty toxic from the start. He’s cheated, he’s been controlling, he looks down on her, has isolated her and gaslighted her from the start. All of this she has told me and sought advice from me, which I’ve given honestly as all friends would. However, she’s still with him. He also really struggles with his MH and is neurodiverse, neither of which he is seeking support for and is using my best friend as a makeshift therapist / emotional punching bag.
Anyway, the last time we found out he cheated. I had to tell her as I discovered this through a mutual friend. She told me she was going to leave him, then proceeded to sleep with my partners friend that night as a way of probably solidifying the break up and trying to do something which meant she couldn’t go back. She was resolute in her decision to end things however he managed to work around her and then they got back together.
Anyway, since this (2/3 months ago) our dynamic has shifted. She’s distant, avoidant, definitely depressed and hardly ever seeks me out. We have always been super close so this has hit me hard. A month or two ago I dedicated to address this, we acknowledged that there’s been a void and why this was. I asked her if it might be beneficial to have us meet, if that might make things feel more normal and squash any uncomfortable feelings.
Fast forward to now. She still hasn’t introduced him to me, she has to other friends and to some members of her family but not to me. She says it because she’s told me EVERYTHING about him and their relationship and feels it will be too awkward as she will know what I’m thinking when I meet him. Whilst I see where she’s coming from, I think the only way to move forward if she’s going to be with him long term is to rip the bandage off. If she continues to keep us completely separate our friendship will suffer and I feel like she will become more and more isolated.
Do I keep pushing to meet him or leave it in her court?
TL;DR my best friends won’t let me meet her knew BF. What should I do?????