Update: I am valid in feeling this way

UPDATE
I was definitely valid in my concerns, and this is not just postpartum hormones. And to give a little more context from my previous post, I should have clarified that shes actually FutureMIL. And the reason I was questioning myself is because her entitlement and boundary stomping always came gift wrapped in compliments and gifts every visit. English is also not future in laws first language, and they frequently speak in their mother tongue with my partner. When I originally posted about how she kissed my baby on the face and I retreated to go change her diaper, my partner did speak up to her then and there, but I wasn’t sure what he said exactly to her as it was not in English and she did leave right after that. When I spoke to my partner after that incident and again expressed my anxieties and feelings towards everything that has happened, he ensured me that she was apologetic, that she felt really bad and that she had just forgotten about the boundary and he had talked to her about everything and how she needs to just take a step back.

Fast forward to today’s lunch visit for her birthday. She has shown me that she was not at all apologetic and very much entitled due to her title of grandma.

Today she was getting upset again about being ‘deprived of baby pictures’. I had stopped sending her pictures after she last made this comment, and partner sends her pictures probably every second day because she’s always nagging him for them. I chimed in with a joke that back in the day grandparents only received school photos and Christmas photos. She snapped quickly and I could tell how angry she was “OP ohhh YOU don’t even want to do things like back in the old day” “IM not allowed to see my grandchild every day! I’m not allowed to kiss her! So I am allowed to hold her and I need to receive pictures EVERY DAY, that is my right!” Errr no, we don’t have grandparents rights here… these are privileges.

She also showed us her spare room and started pointing things out for “when baby stays the night” (another assumption that we are expected to hand our baby to her for overnight stays, not happening!) a baby bath, toys, the couch she is supposed to sleep on when she stays (WTF), a pillow for when she stays (again WTF she is a newborn, they do not use pillows).

She could tell how irked I was by the whole visit, I was so anxious and I just really wanted to leave. She topped it off by saying “It was nice to have you here, we will visit you guys at yours and you all start coming here every second weekend”. I whipped my head around so quickly and she starts laughing “oh look at OP she’s so worried” “don’t worry don’t worry, I’m still just getting used to these new rules” I said theres no rules aren’t in place for YOUR baby and pointed to my partner, and HE can visit whenever he wants.

I spoke to my partner when we got home and let him know how upset the visit made me after he assured me she was actually apologetic and just forgetful. This time “she was just joking and her jokes come across snarky but she doesn’t mean them and totally understands the boundaries” “I pulled her up on it while you were feeding baby but she was just joking”. I’m not understanding where the joke was, she was quite angry in her tone when making all of these comments, and her glare was obvious.

I hate that this is now what I have to deal with as a new mother just navigating motherhood, wanting some mental peace. A complete time out from them is due. Dreaming about moving far far away.