is it weird that she got a high chair without asking?

r/

After I sent a video of baby in his new high chair MIL bought baby one as well. I noticed when we went to her house for dinner and there it was.

We only go there once a week (not every week though) and stay for about an hour, hour and a half. Also, I bought a high chair that I could bring with me wherever I go, so I thought it was a bit rude to buy something like that without asking me first.

I took a month to purchase my high chair because I really wanted to get the best one for baby, I made sure it had the best features and it was developmentally safe! Her choice for a high chair? She bought the one with “the cutest name”.

The thing that bothers me is not asking me first — a quick text “hey is this one ok?” or “I noticed you got a high chair and was wondering if it would be ok to have one in my house as well. this is the one I was thinking about (link)”. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

And, guys, just so you know, this is a control pattern we have been facing. I am not all of a sudden picking on her or anything, but we have been dealing with boundaries stomps every since the begging of our relationship.

So, is it weird? Is she trying to assert dominance and control? Or was that just a grandparent thing?

Comments

  1. botinlaw Avatar

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  2. ThistleBeFine Avatar

    This is not worth being upset about. Especially if she has other kids who may also have children someday.

  3. madgeystardust Avatar

    I’d make it the high chair that is never used as baby would never eat over there…

  4. happytre3s Avatar

    This is not weird. My parents and in-laws and extended family all have high chairs in their houses to make things easy on any of us coming in with littles that might need them. As long as it’s a model that’s current and not recalled – it’s fine for the use that it gets.

    It would be super weird if she set up a whole nursery, but her having a high chair, a pack n play, and some toys, maybe some kid dishes and utensils, etc… Totally normal. And she shouldn’t need to consult on this other than saying, hey we have this stuff here if you want to use it when you come over.

    She certainly could consult you, but why? It’s stuff that gets minimal use and it’s not your house?

    I’m all for strong boundaries, but I think this is one you can gloss over. If she is trying to tell you how to parent or what you should buy for your home – shut that down.

  5. Stevie-Rae-5 Avatar

    I’m guessing the context is important here, because I don’t see an issue with buying a high chair to have at her house for your kid or any other grandkids they might have in the future who visit. It’s at her house, so I assume it’s her property, despite her (I assume) planning to use it for your baby when you all visit, so I wouldn’t think she’d need to consult you about which one to buy. If she were buying it as a gift for you that’s a different story.

  6. Ok_Ground_3857 Avatar

    She’s trying to have a welcome home for her grandchildren. Now you have one less piece of equipment to travel with on a weekly basis. I think this is well-meaning