i (19f) used to feel so guilty about living at home rent-free while studying. i’ve also been depressed for a while, and i asked my parents if i could take a gap year and work, and i told them that i’d pay rent during this gap year as well. they told me that i can’t take a gap year, and that my focus should be on school. it’s too hard for me to balance school and work right now, and if i was living alone, i’d take a gap year to save anyways. so i think i need to stop feeling guilty about not paying rent and just focus on school. idk i overthink things a lot. i genuinely wanted to take a gap year but my parents said only “dumb” people do that. so i guess i need to stop feeling so guilty all the time…
tl;dr i felt guilty about not paying rent to my parents while studying and living at home and i wanted to take a gap year to pay rent to my parents and to fix my mental health. my parents aren’t letting me take a gap year and telling me i don’t have to pay rent during school, so i don’t know if it’s wrong to not feel guilty about living at home rent-free anymore while study.
Comments
So why are you feeling guilty? Who is putting these silly thoughts in your head that you should be working and paying rent and stuff at 19?
There are two different elements here.
Firstly, no you should not feel guilty living at home guilt-free. My wife and I both had the opportunity to do so when we were younger, paying a very small amount in board. My in-laws ended up giving my wife her board money back as a lump sum when we were getting married, to go towards her wedding dress.
We have three kids now and, God willing, we will let all three of them stay home, or come back home as much as they need while they are figuring out adulthood and accommodation and work.
The second element of your post, is your parents not letting you take a gap year.
I went straight from high school, to university and it was rough. I had undiagnosed ADHD and I was seriously burnt out. The thought of a gap year didn’t occur to me, but in hindsight I wished I’d taken it and had a year to work, and relax my mind, before going back to higher education.
I think you need to sit your parents down. Drop the work/rent part of the conversation and instead focus on how your mental health is going. They sound like they love you and I know I’d respond favorably is one of my kids was telling me they were struggling. A year is nothing, NOTHING is the grand scheme of things.
They want you to study. They’re willing to support your costs of living while studying. They aren’t willing to do that during a gap year.