So I (24F) started seeing this guy (26M) a couple months ago and at first, everything seemed great. He was respectful, mature, didn’t push physical stuff, and said he really valued honesty in relationships. I felt safe, like maybe I could be fully myself with someone for once. Then one night while we were talking, he casually asked what my body count was. I figured he wouldn’t ask if he couldn’t handle the answer, so I told him, 4. Suddenly, the whole vibe shifted. He got quiet for a second, then let out a weird laugh and said something like, “Didn’t expect that… thought you’d be at like 2 or something.” From that moment on, he started acting different, less affectionate, throwing subtle shade like, “You’ve probably done this before,” or “You’ve had more experience than me so you’d know.” The passive-aggressive tone was impossible to ignore. What made it worse? I found out later from his own friends that HIS body count is over 15. When I confronted him about the double standard, he admitted he assumed I was a virgin or had “maybe one or two guys” before him and that he just “preferred girls who don’t sleep around.” So let me get this straight: he’s slept with over a dozen people, but I’m somehow less desirable because I’ve had 4 partners? He literally said, “It’s just different when it’s a guy.” I seriously thought we were building something real, but turns out he was only into me because he thought I was “pure” by his definition and now I’m the one being treated like I’m too much. AITAH for answering his question truthfully?
He Wanted a “PURE” Girlfriend But Slept With 15+ Girls Himself?
r/AITAH
Comments
if you can’t answer such a question in your 24, please stop dating for your own good.
edit: the question i’m talking about is the title itself.
you should not be dating if a dude sleeping with tons of women made you doubt yourself.
Ur NTA, if he asked then he should’ve been ready for any answer. It’s clear he’s either insecure or just a straight up misogynist, or even fetishizes virgins. Because he had 15 bodies… that’s 11 MORE than you 😭 he’s insane, especially treating you differently as if body counts actually matter.
He’s sexually insecure and doesn’t want the possibility for comparison to even exist. He’ll marry some poor unsuspecting virgin…
He’s an idiot.
Interesting how his friends said he’d slept with upwards of 15 girls, yet he tried to gaslight you into thinking you had more partners, OP. 🤔
Not sure how you could possibly be the AH here? You answered a question truthfully. He’s quite the silly person.
Girl, get some self respect and move on.
He is a misogyn AH. Don’t waste your time on that crap.
Its good you were honest so you got to see what he really is like.
A key that opens many locks is a master key. A lock opened by many keys is a shitty lock.
Hope this helps.
Why so he can make girl number 16 impure?
Fuck him.
If men want “purity” stop runnin through women. Cause its having fucked a man previously thats making them “impure” Therefore by default men are impure.
Ugh. NTA. Forget about this guy.
You females are the gatekeepers.
Men are keys and females are locks.
A key that opens many locks is a master key, a lock that opens with many keys is a worthless shitty lock.
weird behavior.
No way. You’re not the asshole. He shouldn’t have asked. But you DO see how he is. He’ll be “the old double standard” kind for everything!!! Kick his ass to the curb.
Tell him you want to be with a man that respects himself, his body and his energy and you’re not interested in someone who’s easy.
Dump him! Because it won’t last anyway. He has already lied to manipulate you. He is controlling and already making you doubt if you can answer questions honestly
NtA.
Lucky. You found out early on that his ego needed too much stroking. Imagine actually building something with him where it’s basically you trying to appease all the insecurities he has.
Now it’s too many guys.. and even if it was just one guy it would have been “whose toy is bigger? Did you like him more?”.
NTA. And stay away from guys like this. Look for actual men.
He wanted you to be pure so he could feel better about his own choices. That’s not a preference, that’s insecurity. You were honest, he was fragile and a gaslighter.
How good is he in bed? He might be worried you think he doesn’t measure up
NTA
Stay clear of hypocritical AHs like that. Has he been watching Andrew Tate on Youtube?
Sounds pretty sexist . Time to dump him
Asking for someone’s ’body count’ is pathetic in itself, least of all sharing that number with your friends (15, I highly doubt it). I’m embarrassed for him.
What difference does it actually make (it’s in the past) and don’t ask questions you won’t like the answer to IMO.
Please don’t waste your time with this insecure and tacky man child.
Keep in mind that asking this on reddit is just seeking validation
In reality your body count & who you slept with will matter to a lot of guys, especially those with a lot of options
P.S. 4 at 24 isn’t particularly high, just saying it does matter to a lot of guys, and yes there is a double standard over this and there has been for ever in most cultures. There are biological evolutionary reasons for it, life isn’t fair.
Guys assume women cut their answer in half. He thinks you’ve been with 8 guys and has convinced himself you are no longer pure enough for him.
My 2nd husband convinced himself I was a virgin. He knew I had been married and divorced previously. And that my ex had been my first. Didn’t matter. That’s what he had to tell himself. I would just laugh at him.
I’m going to suspect this is not going to work out. The double standards would have shown themselves in some other way. The next time you’re dating someone and they ask, behave is a shy way and deflect, tell him it’s not an appropriate question.
🤷♀️
Dump him. Seriously,. the simple fact that he asked you what your body count was is grounds to dump him. The fact that your account is significantly less than his and he acts like he’s a big stud while you’re a big sl*t, dump him. It’s only been a couple of months. There’s no great investment that you need to worry about losing. Just cut your losses and go
This is literally what annoys me when people have doible standards “it’s okay for a guy to have high body count but if a girl does she has less /no value” like f off either youre just insecure she’s had better than you OR you have this notion that virginity is a prize you want to be her “first” or few
Hahaha guys like this are so fucking whack. Run for the hills, next thing you know you’ll be doing all the cooking and cleaning while he does sweet fuck all, it’s an age old tale