I (M18) and my girlfriend (F18) have been together for 3 years. We had ups and downs like any other couple, but overall I figured we were doing good. Anyway long story short, about two weeks ago, I scrolled through my brothers (M19) phone to send random pictures to myself. But as I scrolled up, I found inappropriate pictures of my girlfriend from 2023. Obviously feeling confused and horrified, I asked my brother about it, to which he responded to by getting mad that I went through his business. Then I ofcourse texted my girlfriend, and she told me she had no idea what I was talking about. I ended up sending her the images I saw because I was smart enough to take a picture of my brothers screen with my own phone. After a few minutes of being left on seen, I was bombarded with a long apology stating that she genuinely forgot that she even did that, and she’s truly sorry. I call bullshit, because how do you FORGET that you cheated on your boyfriend with his biological brother?? I called her and asked her a few questions, and basically she said that the affair lasted a few months before they both realized it was wrong and I didn’t deserve to be cheated on, but they also agreed that they wouldn’t tell me because they knew I would be furious. At the end of the conversation, I told her that I didn’t want anything to do with her anymore because she had lied and hid this from me for so long, and if I hadn’t taken pictures of the evidence, she would have gaslit me into believing that she didn’t know what I was talking about. Anyway, I haven’t been speaking to either of them — but I’ve been getting multiple messages from my ‘girlfriend’ cussing at me and telling me that I need to be a man and get over it because it was so long ago and she has ‘changed’. AITAH for not being able to get over it??
AITAH for being mad that my girlfriend cheated on me with my brother two years ago??
r/AITAH
Comments
Your brother is a snake and so is your girlfriend.
Break off with her and don’t talk with your snake brother.
NTA
Block them both. They are both backstabbers and liars that you dont need in your life.
NTA. Dumping her ass isn’t enough. Deplorable behaviour like this needs to be punished.You need to expose their shenanigans in front of their whole family and friend circle.
Nah man, you’re not the AH they are. Cheating is one thing, but with your brother and then hiding it for years? That’s betrayal on a whole other level. You’re not mad, you’re disrespected, and you have every right to cut them both off.
They are the AH, this is insane. Cheating is bad enough, but for it to have been with your brother is otherworldly levels of evil. Block them both and never speak to either of them again, they can have each other while you protect your peace and build up your own life.
Honestly you should kill them both.
nah bro you’re not the ah she just mad she got caught. cheating is one thing but w ur brother?? that’s betrayal on every level idc if it was 10 yrs ago ur trust was real they just played u
NTA. Fuck her and fuck him. It’s your own people sometimes smh. Thanksgiving must be awkward.
It’s very difficult to process betrayal, especially of this nature. A brother and the 2 of them are likely to keep seeing each other at family gatherings, etc.
If you want to try to forgive and I suggest you do for your own sake, then look at the link below.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or remove the obvious complexities.
It’s up to you to choose what is best for you.
No one can force you to get over something like this. They are trying to minimize their own guilt.
https://www.reddit.com/r/EntropyReversal/comments/1m1577r/how_to_forgive_and_move_on/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
NTA. Sincerely home you are college bound in the fall far away. Good chance to start fresh and figure out the world is bigger than this one person. But it’s going to suck as you get over this
he’s a hoe, she’s a hoe
Why would anyone need to ask this?
‘I am a man and got over it…and like a good man I also took the trash out and stood up for my self respect.’
You’re 18 she was probably your first love. It hurts, but being cheated on with your brother, ‘forgetting’ about something that went on for ‘months’ and hiding that from you. Nah there’s no coming back from that.
NTA. Go be happy. Find someone amazing.
always remember: once a cheater, always a cheater.. they will never change no matter what they promise.. do what’s best for you, but you’ll never be able to trust either of them again.
No. LEAVE HER TO YOUR BROTHER. Trust me, if you 2 stay together, you deep down know she will cheat again, possibly with your brother. Keep peace in the family and leave the hoe. You’re young, she’s young. You both can find another spouse. And no, you don’t FORGET you fu#ked someone. She’s a lying hoe. My 2c.
didn’t even need to read the description to say nta bro wtf lol
No, darlin’. You’ve done the adult thing and cut contact. A clean break and a smart choice. You deserve more than the disrespect and betrayal you got from both of them.
Block her number, block her social media. change your passwords to everything and set two factor authentification on everything from your phone log in to your Netflix. And personally, I would wait to date again.
This is the kind of thing that instills deep trust issues long term. I would suggest moving out and cutting off your brother before even thinking about a second relationship.
You know you are NTA. You are young, and you are making good, wise choices. I am sickened on your behalf and if I were your mother I would comfort you- then id bend your brother over my knee and take a belt to his rear.
NTA and always ignore everyone who says be a man about it. That’s just bs.
Block and remove both of them from your life
Nope nta and frankly your brother having nudes of a 16 year old at 17 presumably nearly 18 is honestly creepy to me. Stand your ground and good luck op. UpdateMe!
Nta. The fact she’s cussing/scolding/yelling at you & telling you to be a man & get over it —that would be the last message. That’s vile- she ain’t even sorry
NTA who else has she cheated with in that time that you don’t know about. Your brother can have her.
Her telling you to man up and get over it, triggered me. She’s not sorry at all. NTA
Your girlfriend is hoe!
Dump her ass and move on.
If she could be that low she would sleep with your brother, she would sleep with anyone.
NTA. It’s bad enough when your friends do you wrong, but your brother?
Tell your ex a man doesn’t put up with that type of bs and kicks the trash to the curb. She can find someone else to be her doormat.
It’s always cheaters that feel they’re entitled to forgiveness. You’re the victim. YOU choose whether or not to move on with her. To her it’s old news. To you it’s a fresh cut and it speaks volumes that she’s insensitive to the fact and is still trying to make you out to be the bad guy after trying to gaslight you. Your brother sucks too.
Have some pride. Block her and find someone worth it.
You are wrong for going through your brother’s phone. They are wrong for this happening and not telling you. It seems you were both 16 when this happened? Now you’re 18? Just leave. I am certain you know your NTA and maybe just want confirmation that it’s okay to move on. You can break up with anyone at any time for any reason. Especially when you’re so young and have no financial ties. Grieve the relationship. Learn to love yourself if you don’t already and move on. I do think you will have to forgive your brother at some point. Siblings are very important in life.
I see a lot of “ditch them both,” and I have to say they’re onto something.
NTA
Whatever for the girlfriend tbh you’ll find better. But the brother… what a sorry excuse of a brother this guy is, total loser
NTA, definitely. You made the right choice.
BTW, you *are* being a man. You’re dropping someone who can’t be trusted and who lied to your for two years.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. This is one situation that will help you navigate through that life.
Maybe she better put all that energy that she got for cussing you out into reflecting on her own actions? With GF and brother like that you don’t need enemies for sure.
You’re the AH for not blocking her. What kind of man are you that you’re wondering about messages some trifling ho is sending you.
NTA, she is the one who needs to grow up. She obviously hasn’t grown up since this happened otherwise she would understand your view point and apologise and accept your feelings and decision. NOT cuss you out for doing what you would have done had you know at the time, how the hell did either of them think you would never find out? These things always come out in the end.
Thank you guys for all the advice. I see a lot of people telling me to cut them both off, which I definitely plan to do. But I just wanted to mention that my family really prioritizes siblings ties, so I’m not sure how I’ll be able to cut him off — even though I REALLY need to if I ever wanna move on in life. Any tips?
NTA. She’s had 2 years to help you get over this, by telling you that she cheated on you when it happened, she doesn’t get to tell you to hurry up and get over something that you just found out about.
Most people would never get over something like this.
She slept with your brother, I don’t know who is worse in that situation, her or him? Has she f—ed anyone else in your family? Your dad? Your grandpa?
What. The actual. Fuck.
You are NTAH.
Your brother ITAH.
And your gf? Dude, how can a text message convey any detectable amount of contrition? Maybe that’s the wrong question.
Your life will be better if you leave the Toxic Pal behind. THAT would be what “being a man” could mean, to you.
It’s your future, boss – you decide what your value is. I’m voting on more than the gf – or brother, for that matter – perceive.
You’ve got this.
You need to isolate yourself from both your ex and your brother.
It’s not rocket science for either your brother or gf to workout that what they were doing was one of the worst betrayals.
You’ve been with the GF since 15 and this occurred when you were 16? So a year after you’d already been dating?
I have one question (not sure it’s actually relevant), but was your GF sending you inappropriate pix during this period? My reason for asking is…..was your GF giving your brother something that you weren’t getting?
Only other issue is, can you think of any time that they could have actually been physical and screwed? If she’s sending noodes, there’s a really good chance there was more to it.
I will give your GF the benefit of the doubt and paint your brother as the one who started it. But unless there was blackmail your now ex was at least in to it.
Nope. Nope nope. The family should be backing you and the girlfriend should get lost. Period. Your brother is a traitor especially for keeping her pics eww. Im so sorry that happened u deserve better. Dont dwell or question yourself and dont let it damage u. Your young brush the scum off and mive forward and definately dont stoop to their lowlife level. Ur better than that and there is much better ahead. Smile. Look up. Trust. Take care
NTA, you are young you will find someone 10x better than her. Good riddance to her.
With your brother he has shown who he is, don’t ever trust that snake EVER. Even with your future partners. Love him from a distance. This brother is not for you. He is here for your demise
She showed you her true colors very early, and the same with the so-called brother.
Imagine, you both getting serious in your relationship, having children, and discovering that your child isn’t yours, you’re raising your nephew or niece!!
You would be devastated, shattered, and the pain would be immense.
You’re young, life is full of opportunities, you have a Fresh start, learn your lessons, and count your blessings.
If you live with your brother it’s time to move out and be on your own, tell your parents what he did, ask them to stop any sort of pressure on you to reconcile with him, you would in the future if you see it beneficial and it appeals to you.
Therapy would be great, to address any trauma or lingering issues you still have, you’re in the grieve stage, take it easy, go NC with your ExGf and your brother.
NTA and don’t regret cutting them off.
Hang on there.
Updateme
Tell her this: a real man sticks to his morals and principles. therefore, he doesn’t associate with liars and cheaters within his circles
NTA, obviously.
Block her.
Go low contact / grey rock brother.
Go out and have fun with your friends and in time you’ll meet someone far better. It won’t be difficult. 💐
NTA. OMG!