I am 15M and I have been dating my girlfriend for 9 months, for the first few months its been decent, we had little problems and maybe a few arguments. But the last couple weeks have been me constantly getting berated for asking for stuff i genuinely feel like are pretty easy to understand, i told her i dont appreciate her lying to me because shes been lying to me alot, as well as name calling, blocking me, as well as never taking accountability for her actions and blaming it on me.
And i have been asking her if she can change those things, but every time i mention it she turns it into an argument and makes it my fault, saying stuff like im stupid and dont understand what shes saying and constantly belittling me, and mentions past mistakes ive done to justify the way she has been treating me,
Which i personally find unfair considering i have not done any of the things since she told me she didnt like it. She as well knows that ive been struggling mentally for a while and constantly tells me to kill myself, but says its okay and isnt her fault because its a “joke”.She also has friends that constantly insult, and tell her to break up with me because im a terrible boyfriend and so. And whenever i try to talk to them about how i dont appreciate the way they treat me because theyre ruining my relationship they continue to do so. So im honestly so stuck and feel like i cant do anything, because ive become so attached to her because of how she acted before and i still see that girl in her but i dont know if shes ever coming back.
She also used to complain i spent too much time with my best friend so she kinda forced me to go with her, but then she gets angry that im “always on her sht” because i spend all my time with her, and give her all my attention. But she cant spare a few hours to go out with me but can have a 4 day sleepover at her friends(saying she doesnt owe me “sht”) , cancelling our premade plans in the process.
She also comes from a extremely wealthy family and im like dirt poor near homelessness, and i feel she likes to rub it in alot, saying i dont deserve her because im poor and she has an absent mother and a dad that im pretty certain is a pedophile so im not sure if shes just projecting her family issues onto me, but she always says she thinks i cant take a joke when she jokes about me being poor, or when she gets angry at her father for “only” sending her 100$ to go shopping.
Im not sure if its because shes genuinely just a spoiled narcissist or if i should try harder, because i worked construction as a carpenter for 12-15 hours a day all summer to try and buy her nice things but i had to give the majority to my parents, so i feel like i am very hardworking and she never acknowledges how hard it is to make money.
This was not very concise because honestly im just spilling how i feel onto the internet because i dont have very much friends i can vent to, in fact none at all. But im not sure if i should try and continue this because i am so attached with her and i feel like if i left i would be even more alone than i am now. Today i cried in front of everyone full mental break down during school, and she didnt comfort me, in fact she laughed.i had a friend(guy btw)im not even close to comfort me and idk i feel so fucked no matter what and it was probably the most embarrassing thing ever because i look really like toughbut i cry like a baby.
But like i guess final question are her actions justified because honestly i dont think so, the mistakes ive made in the past consist of me following people at my school, and when i asked her who she wanted me to unfollow she wouldnt tell me, liking her friends that im pretty close withs post, “twisting her words”, “victim shifting” as well as “ always starting arguments” because ive told her how i feel and i dont appreciate how shes been treating me.
So what do i do? and how because im so lost and alone
TL;DR my girlfriend has been mentally abusive to me and constantly belittles me and laughs at me for asking her to change how she treats me, as well as blaming it on me