There’s this guy who’s been pursuing me for a while. He seemed really into me, and he asked me out on a date. When we went out, he was very handsy. Grabbing and squeezing my thigh, hugging me way too tight—just generally things that are way too physical for a first date. But then, he would ask really odd questions like “Do you eat a lot of fast food? What are your eating habits? Do you workout? It would be so great if we went to the gym together.” Also, he doesn’t have any social media, so he asked me to show him my instagram. I’ve only got a few posts on there from a couple years back, and I was slimmer at that time. When he saw them he said, “Wow, is that really you? Instagram makes people look different, huh?”
Maybe I’m overreacting, but I don’t know. I’m on the chubbier side, not skinny but not overweight either. This guy met me in person, he knew what I looked like. He was the one who showed interest, the one who asked me out, the one who made the first move, the one who got handsy and hinted at kissing
me. I’m just so confused. He seemed so into me and then he would make those strange comments and I’m just like…do you like me or not?
I don’t plan on seeing him again, but I just want to know your thoughts. What’s up with this behaviour?
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He’s negging you. Plain and simple. Move on.
Wtf happened to this generation, in couple of meeting people start questioning one another. Just be yourself don’t rush anything, you are still too young
That’s straight-up rude and disrespectful. He’s negging you, and that’s a classic manipulation tactic. You are worthy of someone who appreciates you for who you are, at any size. He is not that person.
The comments might be innocent because he’s seeing what you’re in to. Chubby people enjoy the gym too. Thin people eat a lot of fast food. Maybe he’s a health nut that likes the gym and likes chubby people. So unless he’s pressuring you, bringing it up all the time, or degrading you then it might be in your head if it’s something you’re insecure about yourself. If someone asked a thin person “Do you like to eat vegan and watch TV?” no one would bat an eye about intention.
But being handsy without consent? No. Fuck that. That’s a no go. That’s disrespectful af. No one should be grabbing at you unless you’ve given the green light; not red, not yellow- GREEN.
Umh does he even know that chubby doesn’t alway mean healthy, neither does thin.
He sounds like a jerk. Drop him.
Op don’t waste your time with this guy. It sounds like he’s trying to make you insecure about yourself so he can control you and make you think that nobody else will like you. Which obviously isn’t true. He’s just being an azz.
Girl, he’s trying to chip away at your self-esteem on purpose. This is a control tactic. He pursued you, then started making subtle jabs to make you question yourself so you’d seek his approval. That’s not attraction, it’s manipulation. You’re not overreacting—your gut is right. You deserve someone who builds you up, not someone who makes you feel small. Good for you for not seeing him again.
Pass on this guy. Hed call a pregnant lady fat and demand 3 weeks postpartum for her to be at her starting weight. Ugh!