I’m going to yap a lot rn. I think it might be over for me. I don’t even know where to post this so I thought I’d do it here. I’m currently finishing my first year at uni, I feel like I failed life already. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m failing all my classes at uni, well most, I applied to transfer to 3 unis and it just cost me 465 dollars (Canadian). I don’t even know if I’ll get into those transfers. If they look into my uni grades more than my highschool grades I don’t know if I’ll get in. 465 of my parents money in the drain. All my mom wants is me to get a degree. I don’t even know what to do. I don’t think I want a degree now. I keep getting sick of everything in passionate about. My parents are already dissapointed I want to transfer. They are immigrants so they come with this mindset that many immigrant parents have which is to get a degree. I just cannot put my mind to it. I want to be a filmmaker or a game developer but I don’t think my parents see that as ancarrer Path they are okay with. I genuinely might just end it all. I’m already drowning in debt w student loans. My mother is trying her best to keep me and my family happy. But it saddens me I can’t do the same for her. I just want to run away or die man. I know that that won’t fix my problems but I jsur don’t want to deal with it. I’m jsur so sick of life and my problems I don’t want to do anything anymore.
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Film makers or game developers need a degree.
You’re 19. Chill. What is it that you currently study? What subject/discipline were you good at during high school?
$465? Yeah you’re life’s definitely over, there’s no coming back from that. But seriously though, you’re not going to care about this on a few years
If you want to do video games, why not get a Computer Science degree? It will enable you to get into video game programming if you still want that in a few years, it means you aren’t pegged into a single role later if you change your mind, it’s not a super difficult degree.
Mate, I was adamant I wanted to do Zoology when I was old enough. I went to Uni. Two years in, I hated it. Finished my degree. Went off to work in something unrelated and now I have a Masters in Creative writing and do Compliance in Oil and Gas.
Just because people know what they want now, doesnt mean it will happen. Conversely, just because you dont want to doesnt mean you dont need to – If you want to pursue Game Design, you either need to just start doing it and building it yourself now, or get qualified.
I know its shit but stuff like that which is a highly sought after field wont fall in your lap, it needs the hard graft
I’m sorry dude but if I’m understanding this correctly, you want to end it all over $465? I currently owe my government $20,000 for a useless community college degree that went nowhere. I wish I realized how much of a waste of time college was when I was your age. You’ll be alright dude. Most college degrees are useless unless it’s health care, IT, STEM, etc. If you don’t have the motivation to do it, then don’t do it. Go apply for a job somewhere and start making money that way or maybe consider trade school.
Also, don’t live your life based off your parents’ expectations.
You’ll figure it out, and then it eventually that answer will be wrong, and then you’ll figure it out again. That’s the joy in life if you can learn to embrace it. Nobody can figure it out for you though. You might disappoint your parents, you might not. You’ve just got to do what gets you where you’re going next.
It’s been almost 15 years since I was pretty much exactly where you are. Everyone built me up and then I went to university and the world fell out from under me. I started having panic attacks and got super depressed because of it. Dropped out, tried again, went into debt and felt like I was drowning. Eventually I dropped out, gave up for a bit and found a job in an industry I enjoyed. Pay sucked, but I was happy.
Eventually I was diagnosed with ADHD, I got tired of being broke, and I found competency based education. Went back to school at 28, graduated at 29 with my Bachelor’s and changed career completely. The right answer for my 20s stopped being the right answer for my 30s so I changed. I’m still happy, I make more money which makes life easier, but I was also happy then and got by either way.
The upside of us being Canadian is our education debt isn’t so bad relatively speaking, even minimum wage while rough is achievable, and no matter how broke we are there’s a system to fall back on if not perfect. The downside to being Canadian is that the education system is quite traditional across the board and because such a high percent of people go to post secondary you do eventually need something to keep growing your career.
If University isn’t working out for you right now, don’t rush back into it, changing schools won’t make your problems go away, I learned that the hard way. Take some time off, go see the doctor or a therapist about how you’re feeling, take care of your health and work for a year, figure out what you want to do for you.
If traditional school feels wrong I’d look into WGU or University of Maine at Presque Isle once you’re feeling better. Competency based can be very freeing, it’s online so you can work or pursue other interests on the side. Both are eligible for Canadian student loans and similar in price to tuition in most provinces. Having any degree at all makes life much easier in Canada, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. School will still be there in a few years if you need the time. If you’re near a major city maybe see if you can get your foot in the door as an assistant or something for a film production. Your parents might be disappointed, they might be happy to see you happy, you can’t control how they feel. Either way, they’d definitely rather you be alive, and I’m sure you will too once you find your next answer.
School is for fools.
Get a trade
Spoiler alert: you’re never going to get exactly what you want from your parents. They have their own agendas which may not align with yours. Your essential developmental task as a young man is to find your own voice and your own volition.
I’d tell you, and you can decide if this advice fits, that you ought to go get a job, like any job. A seasonal gig with housing provided would be a good one, like in fisheries or petrol production or planting trees. Do something rough. Make your own way for a while. Your parents and college will still be there if that’s what you want to do.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a filmmaker or video game artist. In the short term, try to come up with some livelihoods to support what you imagine your calling to be. And don’t discount a college education for better understanding this world about which you wish to make films, for example. There are big ideas about art and stories that one learns by going to college. If today is not the day for you to suffer another set of classes and fees, go do something else for a while. It’s okay.