Together 18 years, 53F/49M. Amazing chemistry & relationship until last few years. He got new job, started traveling and climbed the ladder quickly. Busy guy- I get it. He started distancing from me- no convo, no kissing other than obligatory peck, no handholding, hugging, etc.. Still intimate but transactional with him not touching my bod/sensual connection. Sex decreases in frequency. We were in ‘the lifestyle’ going to parties- he starts checking out other women more intently, barely paying attention to me. I’m bummed. He gets upset & says ‘let’s leave’. last party we go to- he won’t go. I express desire for more connection like we used to have. He says ‘Im not that guy anymore: focused on my career and I’m angry YOU took away something ( the parties/lifestyle) I enjoyed, and you lost 85lbs so your hutt and boobs are smaller. I’m 53, 5’4” and 125-130lbs,sz 4, no hanging skin, pretty tight. He says I’m beautiful. He’s very handsome. Parties were a blast
My connection ask is interpreted as ‘complaining’ . he says he can’t make me happy & I don’t like our sex and he’s letting me go now instead of taking any more of my years. We don’t argue, still we hang out, have dinner together and it’s 4:20 often. He addicted to scrolling and p🌽 (I don’t care, used to watch together). I have no kids, he has two older kids – one w/severe substance abuse )
TLDR: Im still in love w him and don’t want to split. But I’m ready to throw in towel as it seems he has his mind made up. Do I give up hopes we can work it out?
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Sex parties? Either way I’m assuming he is having sex with someone else.
Sounds like he’d pretty much given up on any major life changes but now suddenly feels renewed and invigorated by this career change. He also seems to be a “chubby chaser” who just isn’t that interested in healthy size women. Call it a ‘midlife crisis’ if you want to. But he may not touch reality on this until he gets the chance to go strike out with a few 20-somethings. So maybe cut him loose to go do that and see what happens.
What do you love about him, he sounds like a jerk.
Hope for best
Try to attract him on bed be good in it maybe he’ll fallen for you
Orr try to attract him with good food with your hand feel relaxed with him maybe it will also help you
this breaks my heart, i don’t understand how you can spend your days with someone and grow with them and then just stop feeling something for you
He probably thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Unfortunately, he’s probably going to have to get a taste and realize it’s not. You sound like a keeper. Bummed that happened for you.
You won’t be able to change his mind. You may as well go and enjoy your life without him. He’ll come crawling back. Either you can take him back or not.
I’m sure his job went to his head along with other things, too. I wouldn’t blame yourself.
He has emotionally checked out of this relationship. Sex will indeed feel transactional if there is no emotional intimacy. There is really no way to fix this situation, as he appears to not be wanting that.
It’s like you’ve arrived at the train station heading to the same destination, but now find yourself alone on platform holding your luggage and he is no where to be found. And your train has long departed. Waiting patiently is not going to bring him back.
Doesn’t really matter what goes on in his mind, since he is at a point of being uwilling to communicate with you. If he’s let you go, it’s best to accept and move on. Wish you well on your journey!
im going through the same thing 19yrs kids he looks at all these other woman dating apps porn sites ive even told him I’m open to explore with him to satisfy his cravings and he wont open up to me at all jist says he’s at work but location says different all the dating n meet up websites on his phone we did everything together movies vacations sex has actually gotten so much better I dress up thats why im so confused why he hides things from me im willing n open we only live once n I get 18yrs is long for anyone I just dont wanna loose my best friend smh this sucks so bad n I want to let you know ur not alone I pray everything works out for u I really do noone really knows until u take those vows n u loose urself tryin to make sure ur home n family is good even when they loose themselves we stay n try to heal them n work with them but they r so quick to let us go n not try.
Men that age go through mid life crisis. Is he having ED issues? Work stress will kill his libido.
Porn will mess a man’s sexual ideas up.
What kind of stuff were you guys into in the lifestyle?