Hello, I’m on mobile and don’t post often got locked outta my other accounts. Anyways forgive me this is me typing quick.
Anyways I 21F, have been trying to break up with I guess boyfriend 22M for a week. I keep on having sit down conversations with him about breaking up and very explicitly telling him we’re over and we’re done.
We live together and he’s on the lease so legally I can’t prevent him from being here, we have a spare room and a couch he can sleep on. We have a month left on the lease so I was just gonna ride it out and take him off the lease, as I have nowhere else to go. That’s a long story. Anyways. I keep going to bed without him and waking up to him in the bed and keep mentioned it to him.
I’m just sick of it he can’t catch the hint and frankly I’m scared of him right now because he’s getting all upset and defensive whenever I tell him we’re over. Yet he keeps coming back and referring to himself as my boyfriend and trying to kiss and hold me.
I just need advice on what to do.
Comments
Get an alarm doorstop.
Can you go somewhere else for a month? I know it might suck financially, but this sounds annoying as hell. I’d also hate to think how he’ll react if he finally starts accepting it’s over but still lives there with you for a month.
stay with a friend for a while until the lease runs out, if he gets violent do not hesitate to call the bitch ass police. when you pack your things to say with a friend, have your friend come in and help you or do it when you “boyfriend” isn’t there
This isn’t confusion, it’s control. If he won’t accept a breakup, he’s not your partner, he’s a threat to your safety. You don’t need him to ‘get it’, you need a plan to get out. His denial is not your consent.
Are you in a position to take him off the lease? Could he not also remove you from the lease in that case? If you stay it sounds as though he will stay and I’m not sure how you will stop him. Can you afford rent by yourself?
Do none of your doors have locks on them? Can you have a friend come and stay for a few days to support you and sleep in the bed with you so he can’t?
If you feel safe doing so, you need to reinforce the idea that you are broken up. Tell him you don’t want him in the bed. Tell him not to touch you or try to kiss you. Tell him he needs to make plans to move out. Repeat every day.
Break your lease and move out. Let your landlord know
Go stay somewhere else until you sort out a new place. Stay with a friend, with family, whatever you have to do. And be ready to move – get your stuff together, get your important things out.
And so talking to him about it. It’s done. He’s your ex. Stop explaining. The more you do that, the longer it drags out.
Does your bedroom door have a lock? If it does lock it when you go to bed. I would also go to maybe the police, they can help you get a restraining order if needed. Him sneaking into your room at night is a really bad sign, someone else said see if you can go somewhere else for a month. Or talk to your landlord, they might be able to help you too.
Buy a door knob with a KEY lock not a flip lock. Tell your landlord in writing that he will not be on the lease going forward. You usually need to do this 30 days in advance.
Umm, with only reading your title, I have one thing to say, and that is, he does not get to choose that. You break up and cut him off from being with you, period. If he refuses, you have options, whether it be a restraining order or or moving away and blocking your number.
He doesn’t get to refuse to allow you to break up. Put a lock in your door. If he gets violent, call law enforcement and have him removed. Him trying to hold you and kiss you against your will… that’s assault. If he is trying to be sexual when he gets in bed with you, that is sexual assault.