Context,

About two months ago I found that there was a woman (let’s call her Samantha) who was calling my boyfriend babe. I asked about it, he claimed it was his cousin. I asked why his cousin was calling him babe, he said it’s something they did since they were young… His evidence was his mother asking how Samantha was doing. I responded she could have been asking because she was his wife. He said she was his cousin and I would meet her eventually. I let it go and he said he would ask her to stop doing that.

A week or two later, I found a woman’s hand bag under the bed. Obviously, my red flag alarm went off and cue me actually looking under the bed to find a suitcase with women’s clothes, a pair of sandals, an ultrasound belonging to Samantha, her bank statement, a few rings (not wedding or engagement), a birthday card (from Samantha) and a whole 2 day birthday itinerary during the first week of December 2024. After a few cries, I dumped all the evidence on the bed, locked his house, left the key with the guard, and left.

He noticed something was wrong and I ended up telling him everything. His explanation was that the clothes belong to his ex who left it in his car after they had the birthday road trip. When I told him the clothes were too much for just a birthday weekend, he claimed that his clothes got mixed up in the laundry. When I asked why he hadn’t thrown the clothes away, he claimed he kept it in case she came back asking for her clothes and then forgot about it. He then mentioned how we have been spending almost every day together and if I have ever done anything to make me doubt him. This should have been my cue to leave but I believed him then and asked him to throw away all the clothes.

Now for this weekend

Ever since the incident, he has never invited me over again claiming his house is messy. He has also been quite unavailable (claims it is work) and has been occasionally not picking my calls. This weekend, I texted that I would like to spend time with him at his house since my house has a few issues that he was aware of. He deflected it but I said I just wanted to have a nice place. He did not reply. That was around 10/11 am. At around 4 pm, I called and his line was busy. I left a text explaining my dissatisfaction with not being welcome in his house since the incident and how it has been so hard to reach him. He texted me saying he was having a migraine and was at the hospital and after a back and forth, he said I should leave him alone, I did.

24 hours later, I called to check in and because I was wondering what the hell was going on. His line was busy again. I was irritated and decided to use another line to call him. His line went though. So it hit me that whenever his line was busy, I was just blocked. I was angry and in my anger, I packed up his clothes and went to his place to drop them off. (He lived 5 minutes away).He said, through the closed door, that me showing up to his house unannounced after he said I should leave him alone was crazy. I mentioned how I was acting crazy because he was acting shady. The argument ended with him turning off the lights, drawing the blinds and walking away saying I should leave him alone. I left and blocked him.

I know I might have been a little extreme with my actions but reddit, Am I the Asshole?

TLDR: I found some clothes on my boyfriends house 2 months ago and since then I haven’t been welcomed back to his house and once I raised the issue he told me to leave him alone and blocked my calls which influenced me to go to his house uninvited to give him his clothes only for him to tell me to leave him alone again.