I’ve (F24) been friends with this girl (F27) for a couple years now, and up until the past 6 months I thought we aligned morally pretty well. Then she started sleeping with married and committed men (4 of them total) which I have a pretty big issue with and I voiced that to her, but it was the only red flag I’d seen so I kinda let it slide. Then recently she started liking this guy who has pretty racist/eugenic/sexist views and she has been hardcore defending him which is not at all who I thought she was prior to these past 2 months. Also when she used to come to town to visit me we’d hang out and do activities together, but now she just wants to drink all day and night with me and a group of guys which is fine but I’m not much of a drinker, I’m practically sober. She’s also driven super drunk multiple times (long drives) which I also have a problem with.
In other ways she’s a great friend, the type of person everyone absolutely adores. She’s willing to do things for other people, she compliments strangers constantly, she’s willing to listen to you when you’re upset, she’s hardworking, etc.
Am I crazy for wanting to distance myself? I feel like a prude/like I’m being too sensitive but I have a pretty strong moral code and it irks me to have people in my circle who make me feel like I’m violating and disrespecting my own morals. I’m trying to be a good loyal friend because she’s going through a rough patch but I feel like I’m losing myself.
Comments
Nah, you’re not crazy. It’s totally okay to step back when someone’s actions clash with your values. You can still care about her without letting it mess with your own peace.
Honestly I don’t know
Maybe try convince her, but I’m not sure, I’d wanna be like your friend. But well… I don’t know.
A lot can change in a few months.
This seems more like an inner struggle than anything Reddit randos can help you with.
Sure “crazy” needs to even enter the conversation?
Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.
There’s two sides, yes she’s being slutty, the alcohol addiction is an issue that could roll onto you if you hang around. The other side is you getting a bit too nosey with her private life. I think you’re on the money, people change, sometimes for the worst. The alcohol is a huge driving factor and you don’t want to get dragged into that. I don’t drink anymore, sitting around with a bunch of people drinking is definitely something I’d avoid.
You don’t need to take the nuclear option, just lower the atmosphere and connection together.
Your a good friend she’s seems fake and will be anything someone else wants her to be f her she’s going to kill herself or someone else driving drunk or get shot by someone’s wife please don’t end up like her you seem koo be yourself and find a new friend who has morals like you
honestly, I don’t really give a shit and I didn’t read past the first sentence. if you want some real advice, posting such personal content on the internet to a bunch of strangers is a bigger red flag than whatever your accusing your friend of.
you’re 27. go talk to your friends or family. if this is a legitimate gripe, do you not recognize how weird it is to put this information out into the world? we all have problems, stfu and talk to people you know
Think of it this way, if you start dating someone, would you trust your friend around your partner?
There is no doubt that it works for me that it is f24 and f27!