Not only is my MIL insufferable, but she has roped in her extended family to help drive me away from my husband. MIL is known for insulting comments, not based on reality. Her favorites include comments about my house keeping/kitchen/cooking. And when she’s used that all up it’s comments implying that I am lazy, don’t work out enough or eat too much.
The irony is MIL does not work out and is overweight. I work out daily and meal prep. So MIL sees my meal prepping as making too much food. She thinks I’ll eat it all in one sitting. This is the same woman that will prepare a meal for 2 and expect 10 people to share it. The delusions are real with this one. I could go on, but we’ll get to the extended family part.
MIl was visiting her sisters and apparently they decided, along with their husbands, to do an online sleuthing of me. They found my Instagram account for my business and thought they had the smoking gun lol. So my name on my Instagram is the name of my business with my photo. It was connected to my Facebook so it showed up in the people you may know section of one of their Instagrams.
Since the name was different than my own they all concluded this must mean I have a secret online life where I cheat on my husband. MIL was elated to call my husband and give him the proof. He didn’t understand wtf she was talking about. So he asked me what they were talking about. I showed him the account and told him I was offended that it was being implied that I was hiding something/cheating.
This turned into a big fight where he insisted they only were well meaning and I was overreacting. I was not willing to back down. I was also pissed that they attacked my personal views based on my business page. I had stated that I was religious and family oriented. So apparently that makes me a far right conspiracy nut. All 6 of these people are very left leaning and basically hate me for being traditional.
Again ironically all these women raised traditional families in the 70s and are attacking me for wanting to do the same. I personally do not care for politics and have never brought it up with them.
So today my husband is having some small talk on the phone with his aunt and starts telling her about my new job. His aunt starts asking some really probing questions and wants to know the name of my company. Luckily my husband can’t remember. I knew she was fishing for information because she wanted to get me fired. So of course this lead to another fight where I reminded him that these people do not like me and will do anything to bring me down.
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This is a major SO problem. He’s allowing family to go after you, his wife. He’s not even listening to your viewpoint, feelings or needs. Where’s his effort protecting you? Where’s his defense of you? MIL (and family) can spread filth all she (they) wants, but if he’s still speaking to her (them), involving her in the present day details and updating them on you, that’s just reinforcing the issues. He needs to step up.
Your MIL and company aren’t the problem here, your husband is. He is defending their “well-intended” yet damaging actions over your innocence. Anyone who loves and cares for you would shut disparaging comments made about you for no reason. Your husband needs to take responsibility for your marriage where his family is concerned.
You two need therapy before they destroy your marriage. Your husband is letting this happen to you.
These folks have seriously got it in for you, I wonder why they are taking your relationship with your husband so personally? You’re right in saying that their comments are unreasonable and purposefully hurtful. If you haven’t already blocked them from all points of contact including social media, this is a good time to do so. If their intent is to damage your rapport at work, it’s your livelihood at stake, not just your mental health.
Gently, your husband is the biggest problem here, because he seemingly does not have your back. Why isn’t he jumping to your defence? These people wouldn’t be in your life without the connection to him, so they are his responsibility should a misstep occur, and there have been plenty. I encourage you to begin couples counselling so a neutral third party can help your husband begin to see how poorly is doing his job as your spouse.
It’s honestly exhausting dealing with people who are more invested in tearing others down than building family unity. The fact that they twisted a professional account into a conspiracy and tried to use that to attack my character says more about them than it does about me. What’s worse is having a partner who dismisses all of it as ‘well-meaning’ instead of standing up for the person he chose to build a life with. I’m not here to be liked by people who actively try to sabotage me. I’m here to live in peace, with boundaries. If someone can’t respect that, they don’t get access to me! period.
You have an SO problem here.