My boyfriend (26M) and i (23F) have been dating about a year and a half. we’ve been living together since the beginning of 2025.
He’s honestly the best person, he treats me well, he’s funny, he’s loving and really shows all these things to me. i have absolutely no issues with him. well, except one.
Our sex drives are different, i’ve started noticing this the last couple months or so. I have a very high sex drive, I always want sex, i’m always in the mood and ready.
my boyfriend is different, he only wants sex when he feels like he’s in the mood, i’m always available for him but when i wanna have sex he always has some excuse like he’s tired or just completely ignores me when i try to initiate.
we used to have sex everyday, i know this sounds unrealistic and im not forcing him to do it everyday. but atleast a couple times a week. and recently i’ve been getting no action. it’s so frustrating to me because he doesnt really seem to think like it’s a big deal.
recently, i’ve been waking up annoyed and frustrated almost every morning. it makes me feel undesired, why am i begging for something like sex.
i really don’t know what to do, ive spoken about it to him, he knows how i feel, yet it still carries on. i have tried my best to just let my desires go and try to get at his pace, but i can’t, i constantly want it.
i don’t want to break up with him i know he loves me and i love him but i really don’t know what to do anymore
Comments
A few things come to mind, based on my own experiences: First, your boyfriend might have a hormonal imbalance. If he’s a soft man, he might not want sex as much as you do. Another might be that he has a busy life and is tired. We’re all human, and that’s normal. Another might be that he doesn’t find you as attractive as you think.
Ya’ll aren’t compatible
Have an honest talk with him again, let him know this is important to you not just physically but emotionally too
Matching libidos is very very rare in a relationship. You just have to decided what’s your minimum and he has to decided what’s his max is, and either stay together or end it. Not much else to do.
If he’s drive have drastically changed it could be change in testosterone levels, but honestly, there is plenty of people out there who lack drive when it’s been a couple of years, spending all the time together outside work. Just how it is for some.
Different libidos are tough, but communication and patience are key. Maybe try couples therapy or find new ways to connect intimacy beyond sex.