Hello. This is really a last resort thing. I’m so, so tired of living the way that I do but I don’t know how to change.
I’m 30F and I live with my parents. I dropped out of school when I was young and for the past 15 years I have essentially been a shut away NEET. I don’t do anything but play video games and eat massive amounts of food. I weigh 640lbs. I think my parents are desensitised or they’ve just accepted it at this point. They just bring me food when I ask for it.
I’m now completely bedridden and I’m so horrified. My mom works from home and she has to help me get out of bed, get changed and shower. It’s too hard to do alone. I don’t go outside and I don’t leave my bed at all. I’m so tired of living like this. I feel like I’ve wasted my whole life but losing weight feels too overwhelming. I know it’s not a good thing but food has always been there to comfort me and it’s one of the only joys I receive from life anymore. I am begging for advice please
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This really requires expert care. Dietician and ideally doctor. You can do this and it will change your life.
Have you ever watched my 600lb life? At the end of the day only you can make the change, no one else can lose the weight for you. Figure out the steps you need to take and start today, if you need therapy, emotional support, a friend, diet teaching or whatever it is you need to get going.
Definitely work with a doctor in order to face this in a healthy way. There are ways to lose weight while bedridden but losing too much too quickly or going about it in the wrong way can be dangerous.
I wish you the best and am rooting for you!
You can lose the weight but need to seek professional help. Dietitian and a therapist would both be recommended
Find a therapist who specializes in food addiction.
Gotta start small. Leg curls and arm curls and eating better. Slowly but steady. Once you get mobility your body will shed that weight
Ozempic. Seriously. Schedule a telehealth visit and see if your insurance covers it (it should, I believe anyone over 80BMI is covered). You will still need to work on diet and exercise but it’ll help you get over the hurdle, especially if you have muscular atrophy and other physical disabilities.
My dad is 60 and lost like 80lbs from one of the generic versions. He still has to go on routine walks and cut back his diet, but it helps a lot with the binge eating and helps your body break down the day and sugars.
The fact that you say that you don’t know what to do it means you have will to change and thinking about it! You need support and good care to find your strength. With bariatric surgery (I’m not an expert i just guess) they’ll give you a few steps. Don’t forget a therapist that is suitable. I wish you the best 💞 you’re strong bc you kept surviving. That means you’re strong enough to go on a new path
Why are you asking if you aren’t willing to do anything about it? There isn’t a magic pill. You have to change – a lot and you aren’t even willing to take the first step.
What would happen to you if your parents drop dead tomorrow? Some day they’ll be gone and you’ll have only yourself to depend on
Call your doctor today and set up an appointment. Then, call a therapist who specializes in weight related issues. You can absolutely do this.
I wish i had advice to give, but ive never been in your position before. Im 41f at my heaviest i was 240. I can tell you that the heavier i got, the less i wanted to be seen, and that snowballed. If i hadnt broken the cycle, i too could be in your position.
The things i do know:
Endorphin release can drastically improve mental health.
You are eating like this to fill a hole the size of God. God doesnt have to be religion. It can be whatever fits that bill for you. If you find that power, whatever it may be, it WILL help you diminish that hunger and hurt.
Therapy is essential.
Positivity breeds positvity
Productivity breeds productivity.
You are strong. You are brave for reaching out.
Other people have been where you are now and succeeded. Find them and reach out.
You know right and wrong for yourself.
Just as SURE as the sun has risen today, IF YOU make steps in the right direction, one at a time, every decision you are faced with no matter how small, the day WILL COME that you look in the mirror and love what you see.
I agree with the others saying a dietician would help. For me personally starting out, what helped to stop turning to comfort foods so often was replacing. Popcorn instead of crisps, grapes instead of chocolate, roasted chicken instead of fried etc. it’s better cause if you can’t immediately cut out junk food, working on eating a smaller amount and using a healthier substitute helped
Step 1 of solving a problem is recognizing and accepting it as a problem. Step 2 is wanting to so something about it. Step 3 is working out a plan to fix it. Step 4 is executing said plan. You’re already halfway through the journey, might as well finish.
I’m with everyone else, get you a dietician and a dr to help. They have virtual appointments if leaving the house is an issue.
I would also recommend therapy to address whatever underlying issues lead you to this point. I’m not saying this to be mean im saying this as someone who struggled with eating at times too. Your family needs you mentally healthy too.
Lastly, please don’t let your shame hold you back from getting your health in order. Your family already sees your condition and I’m sure they’d be thrilled to help.
Looking forward to hearing about the transformation
How bad do you want to lose weight? Are you willing to feel hungry and not eat until you are full. Can you handle being hungry?
You’ve hit the big step, shame.
I know that sounds bad, and you shouldn’t be ashamed, life happens to us all.
You can either sit in that shame and let it eat you alive or you can turn it into motivation. You’ve recognized that you want a different life, now you have to fight for it.
This seems ridiculous, but go on Tiktok and YouTube. There are soooo many creators in similar positions and making changes to better their health. They can be a big inspiration.
You don’t have to do the same things as them, but you can learn what worked for them, and find out what works for YOU from that.
I also highly recommend therapy. You can do online therapy and then try to work your way up to in person therapy.
Ask your doctor for Zepbound a GLP-1 medication for weight loss. You can get it fully covered by your insurance if you have sleep apnea which at your weight you probably have. It really controls your appetite and makes your stomach empty slower so you feel full much longer. It truly is life changing.
You should try and divert your food joy to something else or maybe use food as a reward for doing something productive and suggest the proper serving size to your parents. Suggestions: learn a foreign language: practice for an hour or two and reward yourself with a couple pieces of candy… learn to paint: complete a large project and get a slice or two of pizza. Usually the best reinforcement is to keep life positive. Don’t focus on what you can’t have but on what you can. It is tough and you might have some bigger mental health issues that’ll need to be addressed first, like depression or anxiety.
This is a complex issue, it will take time and work.
Speak to your parents about your desire to change, see if they can help you speak with a therapist and dietician.
Additionally remember that the way to make major changes is by slowly making small sustainable ones. I lost around 75kg 7-8 years back, the way I did that and kept the weight off was just to make small little changes over a matter of years.
Things I started with included coming to terms with the fact that weight loss is 90% diet. And when I say diet I don’t mean a life of miserable salads and constant hunger, I mean something you can keep up with long term – a dietitian is useful for this and in your situation I’d say key, but you can obviously do your research and DIY that.
There’s lots of resources out there, do the work and you can become free of the thing that has trapped you your whole life – trust me, I know that helpless feeling. You’re not alone, the first step is deciding you want to change.
At 640 lbs you need medical intervention. This goes beyond Reddit’s expertise.
That said, I agree with others that you might want to watch My 600 LB life to understand the processes involved with weight loss in your BMI range.
Your situation is too extreme, you need help from a doctor and nutritionist. As a first step, it is great that you want to change. Now you need to follow through on it. It will be difficult but you can do it. Don’t be embarrassed by this. Anyone who looks at you and sees that you want to change will respect you for it.
Kudos for posting, that’s a step right there! Be proud of that. The steps are small at first, make sure to recognize them.
Definitely requires the help of a dietician to make sure you’re able to reduce food safely while still getting the nutrients you need. For feeling shame about speaking to one, first, don’t, any dietician who makes you feel ashamed is not worth working with and you should find a new one, second, they work with people and their eating all day every day, that’s their job. Would an online appointment make you feel more comfortable? This may also be a more accessible option for you especially early on.
Maybe until you’re able to get that set up, start logging food and drink. If that’s the only change you make, that would give you something to bring to a dietician. Some other very small ideas: reducing one sugary drink during the day, swapping out for more water? Adding in some nutrients to make sure you’re getting some veggies and protein if you aren’t already (very non-expert advice, but I know getting nutrients is still important balanced meals will help give energy). Bed exercises could be a possibility too. I struggle with chronic pain, I found that sometimes looking up exercises for elderly people or “gentle strength building” etc. was helpful for me. If you can build some strength from bed exercises you may gain some mobility/comfort. Good luck!
Go for a gastric sleeve or mounjaro.
You’re still young enough that if you truly want to make the people around you and yourself proud, you can flip this whole thing upside down. It’s probably gonna be the hardest thing you ever will do but you have to face your fears at some point to avoid having that regrets for the rest of your life. The journey will be a long one but trust me when I tell you everybody will support you and be on your side if you decide to follow through
One of my best buddies was about your weight, in the last few years he is down to 200 lbs. You can do this. Leave the insecurities at the door, this is a code red situation. You need to get healthy. You want to change, so the next step is to do it!
Do you have access to money/credit cards, etc.? Will your parents be willing to fund health car for you? Google Henry Meds. My pharmacist friend vetted them and is using them for her Wegovy/Ozempic type injections. You can do everything over video chat and they will mail it to you, very private, very easy.
Cost: It may cost $300-$550 per month though so it is up to your parents to hook up their credit card. My friend says she does the basic thing for $300. First, check with your parents to see if there is any kind of telehealth option for you. A regular family physician should prescribe the medicine and it should be covered by insurance since it is medically necessary in your case.
Finally, as others will say, please look into therapy. EVerything can be done by video chat these days.