Hi,
TL;DR, Had a perfect long distance but started finding old stuff while living together related to his relationship with his old wife. I love him but I question my worth every single day. Idk what to do.
I love my boyfriend. We have been together since the November of 2022, living together since August of 2023. I am 100% loyal to him, even cut off all my male friends from school for him to be secure.
The problems started when we started living together. I started finding how close he and his family were to his exwife. I have started questioning my self worth. I hate everything, myself the most. Some examples of things are:
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Found a silver bracelet with his and her name. He was saving it even after being with me for over 1.5 years. PS: We don’t have any jewellery together and he’s the kind who won’t wear my name ever.
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I caught him texting her on her birthday and then he lied to me about it, even swore on my life. He apologised about it but I can’t get over it. Why after years of living with me?
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His family would send her soo many gifts. I found pictures, Idk how old they are.
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His mother had her on her socials and I’m sure they still talk to her and her family.
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His sister told me how close she was to everyone.
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He posted her so much, everyday. He posted me once since 2022 and later said he shouldn’t have. “He’s just not that kind”. He had everything w her name like email address, pinterest account- everything I would wish but won’t ever get even after asking.
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He has a harddrive of pictures and memories with her. It has albums titled like “honeymoon”.
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She told him to drop school once and he dropped from undergrad just before graduating. And I am not a part of any decisions- not even insurance.
I feel so hurt and sad all the time. I cry everyday. I question “why me”? He said it’s all over and helps me in stuff. He is a good person but I’m scared. It seems to never get over. Idk if it’s a me problem. Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?