I (18F) and my bf (18M) has tried many many times but we can never seem to actually do it, it hurts before he even puts it in. I have tried to have sex with one person before him and we stopped as well bc it hurt so much, probably because i wasn’t so comfortable with him. And I feel like now its stuck in my head that its gonna hurt and maybe thats why it hurts? We have tried lube but nothing seems to work and every time we are about to do it i get so scared even if I was calm a secon before. I know the first times can be painful but im so scared. Any ideas or tips how to make it less painful?
I cant seem to have sex
r/Advice
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It sounds like you desperately need to see a gynecologist. Probably is a medical issue if you are that sensitive.
If it hurts that much it’s probably a medical issue and you should talk to your gyno.
If you think it’s just nerves try some fingers or buy a toy and try it for yourself in a no pressure environment. If it’s still hurting like hell it’s for sure time to see a doctor.
There’s actually a medical issue involving a small vagina i remember reading about bit can’t recall the name of it. Definitely need to go see a gyno about it to make sure that’s not the case. If it’s a mental issue, you might want to try buying yourself a smaller toy. If it doesn’t happen with a toy that’s similar in size to your bf, then it’s definitely mental. Being scared can cause you to tense everything up as a fear response. Good news is that mental issues can be overcame. If it’s physical, then that’s a topic for a gyno, not reddit.
Can you use tampons?
Could be vaginismus, please see an OB/GYN. Apparently my mom had this, she was able to get help. Help often looks like treating physical and mental issues.
It’s not uncommon for sex to hurt on the first time. But it sounds like you have a psychological issue, the first being that you don’t seem ready to do it. And you should never be doing that before you’re fully ready.
Do you practice on your own with toys? If so, does it hurt the same way?
Also, thinking of PiV intercourse as the be-all-end-all of sex is how you end up with a really lousy sex life. Try all the other fun stuff with him if it doesn’t hurt as much.
Love how everyone goes straight to the worse possible scenario.
Try some lubricants and communicate. Go shopping for them together that day and get the mood in motion.
If you have no problem using tampons/menstrual cups/discs, then you probably have vaginismus. In some cases it goes away with certain changes like learning to relax your body etc however its best to consult an ob/gyn for more target specific solutions.
It’s normal to feel scared tension cane cause pain. Take it slow, relax, use lube, and don’t rush. If it keeps hurting, see doctor. You got this
i would say probably vaginismus
I had to use lube and numbing cream on my wife it took 2 weeks
I’d say that you have a nervous anxiety. That is understandable if you have had an uncomfortable experience. Seek some professional help. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just need help getting mind and body in a good place together.
Good luck.
Girl u r 18 why r yall rushing yall r still young actually sex at that age is not gonna do u any good also if it hurts a lot it means u r not ready for it yet give yourself time to grow up and be with someone u actually love and loves u back and make sure u r in the state of life if u get pregnant (pregnancy is possible no matter how many contraceptives u take) so u don’t regret anything and get pregnant when u cant afford it
Yes 1-2-3 rip the bandaid off and go at it! Get drunk chew a match stick
It will hurt until you bite your tongue (not literally) and suffer through the first penetration. It doesn’t stop hurting until the dick is all the way in and is comfortable in there. It may even hurt a lil(not as much as the first) when you do a backwards position for the first time. Mine stopped hurting after we took a short break after the first couple rounds (3-4 different positions)
But see a gyno and make sure everything is actually fine first
Edit: I am also 18F who just had her first time two weeks prior so I am open to any and all questions. First time can be scary lol
I would recommend really truly talking to yourself and make sure you are fully 100% ready and not potentially being pressured, and no I dont mean by your boyfriend. Friends can pressure you too. And if you find yourself answering yes, then foreplay helps a lot. If it is hurting before penetration even occurs then it sounds like it could be a mental block, potentially trama from the last or something else. If it only begins to hurt post penetration then 1000% make a obgyn appointment. You could have a wide variety of issues causing it. And until you discover what is causing the pain, take a break from it. It is ok to reject advances if you aren’t in the mood, because no one wants sex to be painful. I hope you figure it out though.
This sounds like what my wife had. It could absolutely be vaginismus, where—from what I understand—the muscles there are in a perpetual tensed state. This could be due to trauma (even emotional) or some other reason? But definitely anxiety-related, and anxiety over it happening does not help. But, also from what I understand, it’s very much treatable.
Please, see a gynecologist. Whatever it is, you cannot just push through or convince that part of you to relax. Suffering through it does not help intimacy with your partner. Finding treatment will not only help sexual intimacy, but also emotional intimacy as well.
Sincerely wishing you well.
Sounds like endometriosis, babes 🙁 im not a medical professional, but I do have endometriosis, and its always hurt for me. Try a vibrator to help relax your miscles down there! Helps me a ton
Go to a doctor ASAP.
I don’t see that you’ve said whether or not you are able to insert tampons, menstrual cups, toys etc into your vagina? If not it could be that you have an imperforate hymen which would need to be evaluated by a gynecologist.
Vaginismus. Welcome to the club.
Anxiety and stress it seems . Try masterbating first it may help you relax and accept that it’s ok
You may have vaginismus. That’s a disorder where you close up upon insertion. See a doctor.