Hi, I honestly don’t really know how to start this.
When I was 16, my best friend had a mother who supplied us all with marijuana on a regular basis.
She clearly wanted to be the cool mom and honestly rubbed everyone the wrong way. My first time trying weed was at this friends house. She allowed her daughter to smoke every day and after 3 years of heavy use, my friend had an episode likely caused by weed. Her mother fully blamed me for this, claiming I stole hundreds from their family, made her child go crazy, and this was all my fault. She isolated her for 5 months while she was in her episode, and told her I caused it. She made her write over and over again how I am a manipulative person who didn’t care for her. Her mother fully gave a group of minors weed for years and was disturbingly involved in her drug and alcohol use even trying to convince her kids to have sex. Now her mother is using the psychotic break to take full control over her life in this way, she checks her search history, her texts, everything making sure we don’t speak bad about her and claiming she never did anything wrong. My friend is 18 and she fully believes she’s schizophrenic because her mom keeps telling her but l’m getting a weird feeling about this. Her mom regularly threatens suicide and says she’s the best mom in the world. Any help is needed please. I don’t know my friend realizes the severity of this. I just recently have realized how predatory this was
Recently realizing creepy things my friends mother did when I was a teen and not sure what to do
r/Advice
Comments
…. 🤦
I have been in the place of having a parent trying to control your life over something that’s not even true or sensible or idk how to say it. It’s so horrible.
Is weed legal there? Do you have proof of all this?
Damn, dude, I’m real sorry ur caught in this gnarly mess. Fr tho, that ain’t being a cool mom, that’s straight-up abusive and manipulative AF. Ur friend is a victim too, but if she ain’t gonna see it, there’s only so much u can do, y’know? Feels bad man, but remember ur not the bad guy here, no matter the s**t she’s tryna pin on u. And if her mom’s playin mind games like that? Yeah, it’s not just shy of normal, it’s batshit crazy. Those aren’t just red flags, that’s blood in the water. Stay safe bro, n look out for urself first. And keep ur chin up, life gets better. 🙏💪✌️
I am so sorry. That is a horrible thing to have to go through. You are a good friend to care about her. Please take extra good care of yourself. Her mom is absolutely making her worse and likely has some untreated issues. Contacting your friend might make it worse. Her mom sounds like she’s forcing a delusion on her and your poor friend will need years of therapy. Your friend might be bipolar or schizo but children can unintentionally mirror their parents mental illnesses. Will they see a therapist or Dr about this? Your friend could easily be misdiagnosed because her mom is making her crazy. When I was 14 I tried to kill myself and was sent to a mental hospital, the mental hospital said it was all my mom and that there was basically nothing wrong with me. That was a surprisingly appropriate conclusion and that hospital did a great job, you can’t expect that from most hospitals unfortunately. My mom was very manipulative and abusive but your friend is experiencing something much worse. Her mom is evil and probably thinks she’s in the right, she could be borderline, bipolar, schizo – who knows, but she has something wrong with her and the daughter has to get away from her to improve.
You didn’t cause this, in case you need reminding.
Yes, report the mom. What she did in the past is bad, but the escalation is in a whole other realm of abuse.
And if the mom didn’t ever try to f*ck you, consider yourself lucky.
Deep enmeshment dynamics bordering on Munchausen by proxy. This can and very likely will get worse over time and there’s not much you can do outside of convincing your friend to get professional help. Are they seeing a therapist? If your friend had a cannabis induced psychotic episode or if they are truly dealing with schizophrenia then they need support. I worry the mom would be threatened by this so that would alter any chances of your friend getting the help they need
Do you have other friends as witnesses?