I (41/M) have been with my GF (34/F) for just over two years and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am always a very thirsty person, and also do bring it up to doctors, etc as I know it could be signs of things like diabetes and other matters.
The last time I talked to a doctor they were not worried about it since everything is….proportional. So not the point but just to dismiss the obvious questions as I don’t think it’s related to an illness.
The GF does not like it when she had to be in the same room as me when I drink a good deal of water. Maybe we’re watching TV for the night after dinner or I’m in the car and my mouth is dry.
I’ve attempted to explain it but my concerns do not seem to matter because she doesn’t want to see or hear me drink the amount I do.
FYI: she is a nurse, so if it were just because of that I’d be fine with it.
But it doesn’t seem to be…..she wants to know how much I’m drinking each day and why it seems like a reflex or autonomic response for me to take sips of water every now and then.
Now she is threatening to break up because I can’t seem to control it.
I love her, respect her and want to meet her halfway when something is clearly an issue as this is…..but I’m at the end of my rope here.
I don’t see how this is such a big deal.
So…..AITA?
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I (41/M) have been with my GF (34/F) for just over two years and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am always a very thirsty person, and also do bring it up to doctors, etc as I know it could be signs of things like diabetes and other matters.
The last time I talked to a doctor they were not worried about it since everything is….proportional. So not the point but just to dismiss the obvious questions as I don’t think it’s related to an illness.
The GF does not like it when she had to be in the same room as me when I drink a good deal of water. Maybe we’re watching TV for the night after dinner or I’m in the car and my mouth is dry.
I’ve attempted to explain it but my concerns do not seem to matter because she doesn’t want to see or hear me drink the amount I do.
FYI: she is a nurse, so if it were just because of that I’d be fine with it.
But it doesn’t seem to be…..she wants to know how much I’m drinking each day and why it seems like a reflex or autonomic response for me to take sips of water every now and then.
Now she is threatening to break up because I can’t seem to control it.
I love her, respect her and want to meet her halfway when something is clearly an issue as this is…..but I’m at the end of my rope here.
I don’t see how this is such a big deal.
So…..AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I continue to insist that this is not an issue because if it is not medically a sign of something serious, drinking a good deal of water should not be this big a deal to someone.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH
she shouldnt be policing your water consumption, but it sounds like she is worried about your health and does not like the fact that you might have an untreated condition
NTA! Why on earth would she have an issue with you drinking water?!
so you’re an adult asking if you’re an ah for drinking more water than your adult girlfriend thinks is appropriate? bwahaha thanks for the rage fuel for my workout 😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣
NTA. I don’t know you or your situation, but if someone I was dating started taking issue with me drinking water, to the point where they’re threatening to break up over it? I would just assume this person wants to break up and is looking for any excuse to. It’s incredibly cowardly, but kinda common.
Not the water part though, that’s wild.
Hydrate or die-drate, my boi. NTA
Do you drink it really loudly and annoyingly?! That’s the only reason why I can possibly think of why it would bother or so much!
NTA! Seriously? If your doctor doesn’t think it’s an issue then don’t worry about it. I do the same thing myself. I take water everywhere I go because I do not like dry mouth and it gives you bad breath when your mouth is dry. Especially in the summertime you should be drinking lots of water. Not sure what her problem is.
NTA, girlfriend has issues. If you are not getting amazing Fellatio, move on to someone less crazy.
She’s TA. Why have an ultimatum for drinking water? She could be considerate and offer office or medical help. But she didn’t and is using this situation as an issue against you, rather than helping you against the problem.
It sounds like you have a controlling girlfriend! What does she care when/how much/how you do you. If youre thirsty you shouldnt have to be self conscious to drink.
Is it “a good deal of water” or “sips now and then”? How much water do you drink? A gallon? Two gallons? Are you burping? This is not an accurate description of the situation.
NTA, what? Everyone needs water, and if you happen to want or need more than the average person, who cares? You’re healthy, it’s not hurting you… She seems very controlling and easily irritated if someone drinking water is enough to make her wanna break up with them. Unless you’re somehow managing to drink it loudly or in a messy way – which I highly doubt you are – she needs to get over herself. I’m also a very thirsty person, I drink a lot of water, juice, tea… I just like to drink things, and my partner just jokingly says, “He’s just a very thirsty boy” if anyone mentions it. I don’t know why your girlfriend would care so much about something so harmless.
NTA Unless you slurp or loudly guzzle it every time, what’s her problem?
NTA. Let her break up. If it bothers her so much, then she’s not the woman for you
NTA. This one’s a no brainer lol. She has serious control issues if she thinks she can, and should, stop you from drinking water. Before reading I was like “Does he gulp really loud? I can see her getting mad over that.” But she’s genuinely mad over the AMOUNT of water you’re drinking. That’s insane behavior. ESPECIALLY from a nurse.
NTA
And she’s an actual licensed, practicing nurse? Not one I would want to see…
NTA, so long as your doctors have ruled out dangerous causes of water consumption drink what you need.
I don’t think you can be an asshole even if you drink an extraordinary amount of water.
I can can see how sipping water all day everyday could get annoying to the people around you.
Any repetitive behavior will get in other peoples nerves.
Maybe since you went to doctors and everything checked out, you should see a therapist.
I don’t know if the amount of water you’re drinking is normal or not, but if it’s causing issues in your life, maybe you need to address it. Has anyone else noticed other than your girlfriend?
That might be helpful if she’s not the only person that is annoyed by it.
Couple go through normal stuff too… sometimes the way a person chews food can get on your nerves. It might just mean you need to spend a little more time apart and do things with other people a little more often.
At least it’s not vodka. 🙂
NTA… unless you drink or swallow too loudly??? I honestly don’t understand why it bothers her so much.( I am the same as you are, my mouth is always really dry due to a med I’m taking, and I always have water close at hand and it doesn’t even register with my husband when I take a sip). If she is willing to break up using this as an excuse, I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the relationship.
Are you an obnoxiously loud drinker? Do you slurp? Do you gulp?
lol what the hell NTA
NTA. She’s threatening to break up because you can’t control… your need for water? What?!?
Needing water to live isn’t something that’s in your control. It’s not supposed to be? What’s next? She decides you sleep too much, and it’s a problem that you can’t control your tiredness?
This is such a weird thing for her to fixate on.
Where do you live? The Sahara? 16 pints a day seems way extreme. You must pee every 10 minutes.
She’s mad at you because – checks notes – you drink when you’re thirsty?? Wild. NTA
INFO:
Are you a gulper? Do you make sipping noises? Do you dribble?
>because she doesn’t want to see or hear me drink the amount I do.
It seems like you are an irritating drinker, at least to her. Something about how you drink grates like nails on a blackboard.
Gulp, not often.
Sip, absolutely
NTA. Your body needs more water. Do you have low blood pressure? We need more water. Also, your GF is being the AH by making a big deal about it. However, does she have Misophonia? Is it the sound of drinking water that bothers her? It is not ok to be an AH to someone that is making normal sounds but to me, hearing people eat or drink, can be like nails on the chalkboard. However, I know it’s a me problem and I deal with it on my end. I don’t criticize people for it.
NTA for drinking water. If you feel confident that your water drinking it isn’t tied to health problems, then some of her concern seems misplaced.
However a couple of things that might be of concern.
First – water in/water out. Drinking a large quantity of water usually means large quantities of urine. If you are constantly or even frequently excusing yourself to use the facilities, that could be an issue with your girlfriend. Constant interruptions are annoying and inconvenient. That could be her issue.
Next – you say you take sips of water every now and then. I assume that is as opposed to chugging an 8 oz glass of water all at once. And you mention “reflex or autonomic response.” It sounds like you maybe doing this not to quench a thirst but maybe as a habit or more bluntly a compulsion. Could this be a compulsion, rather than an actual thirst? Have you talked to a professional to see if that is the case? By bringing up your frequent sipping and wanting to monitor it, she may be telling you she is concerned you have some compulsive behavior. May wonder if you have undiagnosed OCD.
It sounds like there is a real concern on her part, that is hiding behind her demand that you stop drinking so much water. That is what she has to tell you and you have to understand if there is hope for your relationship.9
Are you Jesus and turning the water into wine before chugging it? Didn’t think so, NTA but god how much water is she drinking?
Nurse here! I think there could be 2 things she may be concerned about (although neither break up worthy, imo). Concern 1. The total consumption is consistently a large amount. While “drinking lots of water” is generally ok, you can actually drink too much. You can deplete your electrolytes to the point of having severe issues (people have even died). Assuming with your dr’s monitoring your overall health, they’ve done bloodwork, and are not concerned you are depleted. Concern 2. When she says auto reflex, I believe she’s thinking like a tic. Kind of like when people get anxious, some will twirl their hair or bite their nails. Maybe she thinks you just subconsciously feel the need to drink.
A 3rd option could be what someone else mentioned about noise. Are you a loud drinker? Is it obnoxious and bothering her? Because there are definitely times I’d divorce my husband for his chewing.
NTA. I suspect your gf might have some flavor of misophonia. I can’t stand the sound of people eating, slurping, or sucking on their teeth. It makes me want to stab them and myself.
NTA. As someone that keeps 32 oz canisters of water with me, that I refill often from time I get up until bed time. Your girlfriend is TA.
Yes, it can be a habit, but it is a habit in my case developed from years of guarding against kidney infections. I was trained early to keep drinking water to cut down this possibility as I was very prone to this young. Found out much later in life that it is possibly due to the fact I have 3 kidneys. Was told I would always have kidney trouble but it wouldn’t kill me.
I say all this because although you may not have the common things that makes your body demand fluids, your body can still demand fluids for other reasons.
Listen to your body. Your girlfriend’s phobia of being in a room where you are sipping your water bothering her, is her problem. She needs to work on.
You’re not saying something.. do you gulp loudly? Slurp? What is her actual issue?
Holy bleep how are you not dead? Thats over 3 x the recommended amount of water per day, definitely keep pushing to see why you are drinking so much. Maybe its some repressed trauma or something.
Gulp, no.
Slurp, no.
Maybe every now and then by mistake.
Go see an endocrinologist. What you are describing is not normal. I am wondering if you have diabetes insipidus. Make that appt and have this checked out.
Info: what exactly does she say bothers her about this?
NTA. Does she have a case of BEC? I don’t know how you could be annoyed by another person drinking water. Do you make a lot of noise when you drink it?
She’s got issues. NTA
NTA, she sounds bonkers. Now I personally have some sounds that make me squirm like someone scrambling eggs in a bowl or when some people have that loud swallowing gluk sound, but I know not to complain about it because its just my weird triggers and I need to deal with em, not complain to the person about thier normal everyday thing.
Not the asshole at all. Unfortunately for her she needs to accept that you cannot just become quenched by thought. Sorry but this is the end of your relationship.
INFO: this seems like such an obvious n.t.a. that I can’t help but wonder if there’s something related, but different, that is actually frustrating her. Otherwise, how would your drinking water even impact her?
My husband consumes way more water than me, which isn’t a bad thing but can cause some annoyances as a result. On long roadtrips, for example, he stops an hour in to pee and then buys TWO bottles of water or Gatorade that inevitably he asks me to put on the floor around my feet. Super annoying, but not divorce-worthy.
-Do you insist on carrying a huge water container with you, including situations where it’s not really appropriate (e.g. black-tie weddings)? Does she ever get asked to carry your water container in her bag?
-Do you frequently wake during the night to pee and disturb her?
-Do you take up “her” cup holder in cars, movie theaters, etc. with your water cups?
-Do you leave empty water cups strewn about the house for her to deal with?
-Do you dribble water all over your chin when you drink?
-Have you asked her why your water consumption bothers her so much?
That’s a weird thing to bug her. Really.
Have you tried treating your dry mouth? Like with xylitol or similar things?
Are you obnoxious about drinking it? Are you leaving your water bottles and Stanley cups everywhere? Do you expect her to clean them for you? Are you constantly interrupting activities because you’re getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of them? Do you talk about how thirsty you are all the time?
What is her complaint specifically? Just that you seem to drink too much water?
Seems an odd thing for her to complain about, with no additional reason.
INFO
– What does “everything is…proportional” mean? What is everything? And what about it is proportional?
– How much water are you drinking?
– Have you ruled out diet, vitamins/salt/mineral levels, anemia, kidney issues, medication, or breathing issues? (diabetes isn’t the only concern)
– What concerns have you attempted to explain to your GF? I ask cause you don’t seem concerned in your post.
– What does she actually say? We just know that she’s annoyed and attempting to find a pattern in your drinking, but we don’t have much context outside of that.
There is something else here. Something that you’re leaving out, or that she needs to clarify about why it bugs her
INFO: how much water do you drink a day? Are you chugging it loudly? Belching afterwards? What, specifically, does she object to?
Info: How much water are you drinking in a day? And, are you slurping?
I drink/sip almost constantly.
For my weight and medication regime, I’ve been advised to drink AT LEAST a gallon of fluids a day – apparently half a gallon wasn’t enough, and my kidneys let themselves be heard – resulting in a massive change to meds and far too many blood tests.
I sip constantly as I’m both dry-mouthed from medication side effects AND not used to such a large amount of fluids and drinking cupfuls in a go just makes me sick AND sick of the idea of more fluids…
As a nurse, she should be completely aware that each person is individual, their body requirements unique to them.
You’re NTA and she should know better!
NTA. I don’t understand why she cares?
NTA. I’m sorry, but this is insane to me.. She’s a nurse, but she’s getting mad at her s/o for drinking water ‘autonomously’? If she’s a nurse then shouldn’t she know how important it is for people to stay hydrated? Idk where you live, but especially with the heat that most places have been seeing recently. She’s the one who might want to see a doctor, though a different kind. If she breaks up with you over this, her loss.
Having read your comments about how much you drink and that you sip, it sounds like a tic. 2 gallons of water is not a healthy amount. Tics, though involuntary, can be immensely annoying. 2 gallons in sips a day is almost constant movement of hand to mouth. Imagine the person next to you while you were watching tv or driving was constantly bringing their arm up and down. That would get annoying. Sugar free gum can help with saliva production. NTA, but it’s a close call. Water is good, too much water is not.
I mean, she would t be the first woman to leave a guy because of his drinking problem.
…it’s just not usually over water.
I can’t understand why she wants to limit the amount of water you take in. If she’s concerned about it from a medical POV why not involve her in your appointments so she can hear it from the Dkc’s mouth, ask questions of her own and see that it isn’t an issue.
How much water could you possibly be drinking in a day? There seems like there’s a bigger issue here for her.
Who would possibly care about someone drinking water?
NTA. When someone is annoyed by the little things you’ll find they are annoyed by your very existence as time goes on.
Given the info, NTA. It kinda sounds like she has the ick. She’s just annoyed by you because she’s no longer feeling the relationship.
I do wonder if there’s something you or your GF are not saying about your water consumption.
NTA, but… I did some quick math. Two gallons of water is 7570 ml or so. A sip of water is about 25 ml according to a study I skimmed. That’s roughly 300 sips to get through two gallons of water. You’re awake for about 16 hours a day, which is 960 minutes. That means you’re taking a sip of water every three minutes or so the entire time you’re awake. It sounds like you have found a way to meet your physical needs in a way that works for you, and your doctors approve, so there is no way you’re an asshole for doing this, but I can kind of picture myself being driven quietly crazy by someone taking a sip of water near me every three minutes for the entire time I myself am awake. I have ADHD not autism, but the slight repetitive noise and visual distraction of this would get to me. This is a her problem, not a you problem, but it may be just as hard for her to disregard it as it is for you to resist the siren song of the water bottle.
NTA. I’m going to say this clearly.
You do not to be stressed about being hydrated.
I am also a very thirsty person and drink a lot of water. I’ve always been this way, even as a kid but then it was more soda, juice, etc.
Despite drinking my weight in ounces every day, my urine isn’t completely clear. It’s the right amount of color to indicate a sufficiently hydrated (but not overly so) person.
She might have misophonia – that’s very likely. She needs to find coping strategies because the fact is, people need to consume liquid to survive. If drinking water is thé worst thing you do, well… I don’t know what to say. Just don’t stress yourself out over something like this. You just might not be a match.
On a side note – I will use biotene lozenges if I need to. They help with dry mouth.
Info: is your girlfriend Immortan Joe?
YTA if you stay with this person. They are giving you ultimatums. Never let someone dictate terms to you. That’s not love
NTA. Breaking up over you drinking “too much” sounds like bullshit to me. I’m betting if you ask repeatedly you’ll goad the real reason(s) out of her. I’m diabetic and on diuretics for another health issue so I understand that always dry and thirsty sensation. Now, there IS such a thing as drinking too much water, so you might want to look up your max amount and keep track for that reason. Just FYI, milk will keep you hydrated longer per drink. I drink 2% a lot for that reason.
If she does break up with you, you’ll probably be better off anyway. I wonder if she’s just pretending to have empathy for her patients. She’s certainly not expressing much empathy with her actions toward you.
NTA and not compatible. She should be more concerned about your health and less weird af, wanting someone to drink less water than they need is wilddddddd.
Also might I recommend Liquid IV? I take care of my mom and use it for her water because she has hydration issues.
And idk about your doctors but mine have been quite clear that regular bottled water does not compare to hydration water and that I should be drinking hydration water especially if working outside in the heat.
I would have dumped her a long time ago. Dude you’re drinking water for goodness sake not alcohol 🤣🤣NTA
NTA it’s not a big deal, your GF is insane. Find a new one.