as the title says, i work part-time at a store and theres this girl i serve most of the time whenever im there. she’s a usual customer so that’s why im hesitant on asking her out because i dont want her to stop coming if it goes wrong. i really do want to ask her out because she’s really cute and i literally get butterflies every time she comes. im just really nervous to be honest and i think for professionalism’s sake to just completely forget about these feelings and move on.
There’s a customer I serve most of the time where i work and i want to ask her out
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Prepared to get fired if she doesn’t like it.
okay so yeah it’s risky but not a bad thing if you handle it right if you really like her just talk to her a bit more first and see if there’s any vibe. if there is you could ask her out casually like hey want to grab coffee sometime when i’m not working. keep it low pressure. if she’s not into it just stay cool and professional. if you’re respectful it shouldn’t be a big deal. just don’t overthink it too much.
Better to regret doing something than not doing it. You’ll be dead one day either way.
Don’t grow old and bitter from regret. Ask her out.
Ask her out. Even if things go sideways and you get fired, I doubt you will regret the attempt!
Use the regular interactions to gather more insight, which will allow you to gauge if she’s strictly cold transductions or if she’s open and receptive
What do you talk about with her that makes you like her? Music? Say hey i went to this band/open mic/comedy/pubquiz/art thing on last week you should check out. Gauge her response. Actually they are playing on _____. Gauge her response. Tthen maybe – yea im going this friday if you want to check it out, i can give u my number/IG/snap.
Honestly tho, are you in her league or is she out of your league?
Only some conversation will start to uncover if the feeling is mutual.
I’m sorry to say, she may not think anything of you at all except the guy that works at the store she shops at, while you’re proclaiming your love for her here on Reddit.
You’re going to have to engage her in some conversation to see if she’s remotely interested in you the same way you are interested in her.
Shoot your shot!
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
Sounds promising. What would happen if you said to her, “Hey it’s good to see you again!” and let your joy and butterflies show? Her reaction should indicate whether she is coming to your store in part just to see you.
If you have conversations, is there a way to ask whether you can meet her when you’re off work and won’t be so distracted?
Slide your number on a napkin and forget.
If she calls great if she doesn’t you’ve already moved on
Nope. Talk about fun things you are about to do. Then do them. If she asks to join you, then good.
> There’s a customer I serve most of the time where i work and i want to ask her out
The best way to be successful in asking a girl out, is by doing it a lot.
Because you’re going to be rejected a number of times most likely. Just stating the obvious. Most guys will be rejected a number of times before they get a yes.
There’s a genetic component to it, not all girls are ready for dating, she might not be as single as you think, you might just be pushing above your weight class.
There’s no certain way around that happening and you should try to get used to that not impacting your self esteem. Eventually you’ll get a yes.
One way to make it less impactful, is by involving a shared friend, if you have one, just ask them to see if they’re interested perhaps (this isn’t without some risk of getting your ego bruised and I wouldn’t do it with an immature friend, but it can work). But you’re really just trading a loss of privacy for a less direct approach (might work better if you think she’s shy and you’ve got a tactful shared friend).
Before you ask her out:
When you ask her out:
During the date:
Online sources:
Youtube:
Sometimes it crosses from “it’s hard” to “I’m really too afraid to do it.” Then it’s either a general issue (social anxiety) and it affects both genders (you just are too afraid to talk to anyone. If that’s the case, let me know and I’ll give you advice for social anxiety.
Optional Social Anxiety test. let me know if you scored over 50.
If you are really scared to ask a girl and it doesn’t affect both genders (so talking to men, even if you don’t know them is easy for you), but the fear does go very deep (and it’s definitely fear, you’re outright too afraid to do it), then it’s a kind of situational anxiety. If that’s the case and you let me know, I’ll give you advice on how to address situational anxieties.
Try to get to know her more and don’t abruptly ask her out. Don’t barge in and ask “Are you here alone?” or “Do you have a man?”. Stay professional and make a comment about her (dishes she order, her outfit, her hair, something that stand out without being a creep”. If she looks uncomfortable and the interaction gets awkward, abort and realize that there is nothing more. If she opens up, take baby steps and get to know her personally (name, if she is taken, hobbies, etc) If things go south, just don’t take it personal, you are probably not her type. You can always ask for her out on a date when you get to know her better and what she likes.
“Hey, you know??…. It kinda sucks that we met at my work. (Begin light fun sarcasm) I know, I know…. You feel bad for taking me from the less important guests but I gotta pay the bills (must insert sarcasm… don’t say that shit dry).
I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while but if you’d like to meet outside of here I’d love to actually have time to chat for a change , I’ve never done this before but, here…(give her your name and number on paper, duh).
Buddy from the back cheering you on (most likely the dishwasher who knows the pseudo plan) “HEY MARTY, we got food up for six in three and need hands!!”
“Ahh shit I gotta get back to run food. Hope to see you soon!”
Get busy taking care of shit and barely be able to say goodbye but make sure you catch eyes when she leaves and give a slight smile. If it works it works if not wellll fuggit.
You’re Welcome.
Here’s what I did.
There was a guy. I didn’t exactly have a crush or anything but he seems like he’d be cool to hang out with. I had no idea of his marital status/relationship status/whether he might have a psycho partner.
I host a monthly game night at my church. I invited him. He declined.
Had he been interested in hanging out with me he could have either accepted or, since he’s not a gamer, suggested an alternative activity.
But he just politely declined so now I know he wants to stay strictly professional. And that’s ok.
Edit: in short, my advice is to pick a safe group activity. In public. Where you could potentially get to know each other better.
You only live once. You won’t regret a soft ask for coffee, but you will regret never asking.
You should check your store’s HR policies and check with your boss about whether it is acceptable to interact with customers that way. That should help guide your decision.
No. Stay professional at work, but don’t just drop it. Keep things on a service level, but look for subtle chances to shift the conversation into something social. If there’s a local event coming up, mention it. That alone can open the door in a natural, appropriate way.
Nope. Dont shit where you eat. Your job is where you eat. Getting rejected and fired in the same incident sounds like a horrible idea. If she’s into you, she can make that clear. Don’t risk your livelihood over trying to get some lol.
Before you ask her out, is she friendly toward you?
If you smile, does she smile back?
How do you know she’s not married?
Or you don’t care?