I turn the air conditioining on and she later joins me in our study room. After 10mins I leave and say im taking a break.
I go to the kitchen and shortly after, 15 seconds, she leaves the study room and joins me.
2 hours later she finds the air-conditioning still running in the study room.
She calls out “Oh no we forgot to turn the aircond off!”
I went “Huh what we? You mean you left it on?”
She gets really pissed and says im blaming her, that the “we” is entirely neutral.
Reality is shes been defensive when i remind her to turn off the lights etc after she leaves the study room.
We’ve always been following the whoever leaves last, turns off the lights, aircond etc. For today’s context she says it doesn’t apply because she left 15 seconds after I did.
AITA here?
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I turn the air conditioining on and she later joins me in our study room. After 10mins I leave and say im taking a break.
I go to the kitchen and shortly after, 15 seconds, she leaves the study room and joins me.
2 hours later she finds the air-conditioning still running in the study room.
She calls out “Oh no we forgot to turn the aircond off!”
I went “Huh what we? You mean you left it on?”
She gets really pissed and says im blaming her, that the “we” is entirely neutral.
Reality is shes been defensive when i remind her to turn off the lights etc after she leaves the study room.
We’ve always been following the whoever leaves last, turns off the lights, aircond etc. For today’s context she says it doesn’t apply because she left 15 seconds after I did.
AITA here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Action i took was telling my gf that it was actually her fault for leaving the aircond on.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but since this keeps happening, just turn it off when you leave.
Then either it’ll be off, and problem solved, or she’ll say, “Hey, don’t turn it off, I’m still here!” In which case you can say, “OK, so you’ll turn it off when you leave?” and at least this particular argument will no longer apply.
YTA, you dont need to spike the ball. she knows what she did.
You turn the aircon on when you’re in the room only a few minutes? What an incredible waste of electricity
NAH but don’t push your luck, there are surely things you forget to do that she covers you for, that you might not even realise you do. People make mistakes and forming any habit takes some time
This is your excuse to dive fully down the home automation rabbit hole – mmwave presence sensors, Home Assistant, BLE thermometers, IR blaster to control the AC, the full bit.
Then it can turn itself on and off.
Info: if you had done what you had said you would do, come back to the study and found the aircon off, what would your reaction have been?
She didn’t turn it off because you said you were going to take a break, indicating that you’d be back, and I’d have taken that to be ‘I’m going to the loo, grab a snack, and come back’ rather than ‘I may do another session in a few hours’.
You both left at the same time (you don’t fit through the door together). You intended to come back and didn’t. You never said ‘guess I’m done with studying for today’ AND WENT TO TURN OFF THE AIRCON.
Neither of you turned it off. One of you indicated that you’d be back soon, yet you take zero responsibility. YTA, but consider breaking up with her because you’re at the stage where she can’t do anything right and you’re just looking for ways to tell her she messed up. That’s not how you partner.
Man, I live in Florida and we don’t even dare THINK to turn off our ac. Ever. Not one day of the year. Can’t comment on your situation because I cannot relate in the slightest. Sorry for not helping!
YTA, and you also don’t understand how air conditioners work.
honestly i feel this. it’s like why’s it so hard to remember?
YTA, you are blowing this out of proportion
YTA.
Playing the blame game is a poor move, either in business or private life. Be the bigger person, and start looking for solutions. That’s much more hard than finger-pointing the poor sap who made a mistake.
Of all the things to argue about, this seems very escalated for such a simple topic. Are you sure it’s just about the AC?
If it is, then in the future, when she does leave the room after you, just ask, Hey, did you turn off the AC?
NAH but some hills really arent worth dying on. As long as someone turns off lights,air conditioners etc does it really matter who does it? Seems an odd battle to have tbh
YTA!
It sounds like you want to be right instead of solving the problem. Turn it off when you leave and put her in the heat. Or, get a control that lets you automate. This is a clear lack of imagination to solve a simple problem. She isn’t you, probably doesn’t pay the bills and does not think like you do.
YTA – own it. If you turned on something, be responsible for turning it off – easy to give clear instructions (requests) to others to turn things off if they’re not going to be using it. If they don’t follow reasonable requests that’s a different matter. Chain of command, dude.
You’re wasting more electric by turning it on and off constantly. She’s just trying to save your light bill.
People in here are crazy lol. Everyone ranting that you should have turned the ac off on your gf and that you should have let her say it’s your fault even though you have a routine you both know and are supposed to follow.
NTA op… everyone else in here is on crack or something.
YTA. You said you were taking a break. The implication is that you will therefore be returning to the room shortly, so why would she turn things off in there?
YTA, not for assigning blame, but for making a molehil into a mountain. It’s July. An air conditioner costs pennies an hour to run – $0.06 to $0.88 an hour on average, according to Google. You’re so angry at her that you took time to post on Reddit to prove her wrong, over twelve cents? Is being right and humiliating your gf actually worth a maximum of $1.76?
Women and accountability don’t mix bro. It’s in the handbook lol. It’s like water and oil.