My relationship with my boyfriend has become really toxic, he really hurt me consistently throughout our relationship and whether he meant to or not it lead to some pretty heavy mental health issues with me.
I don’t like his friends and get anxious when he goes out with them because they do so many drugs and he’s so impulsive. I don’t want to have sex with him, I don’t like kissing him and I’m generally just irritated or upset by him. He’s not thoughtful and expects me to be extremely grateful for the bare minimum.
I’ve recently become not that nice to him either, I’m very short with him and don’t really want to spend any time together.
But I just can’t seem to leave – we have very explosive “breakup” type arguments and 6 weeks ago we didn’t speak for a week. During this week I had panic attacks and cried pretty much non stop even at work. I just don’t understand why I miss him so much and find it SO HARD to leave. It’s a physical pain when he’s gone but I’m miserable when we’re together.
What should I do? Why am I feeling like this?
TL;DR I don’t really like my boyfriend but feel like I’m dying whenever I leave him.
Comments
Nobody is going to be able to make you leave this relationship. It’s just going to get so bad you have to leave. So I guess you wait until then and stop trying to end it. If you had someone better to go to you would leave him. Likely you just don’t want to be alone so you’ll put up with his BS until you just can’t stand it anymore or someone gets hurt bad. I know a whole list of girls doing the same thing you are doing being with someone who is no good for them, No Idea why. I don’t even ask anymore.