Location: New Mexico
Hello, I (23m) need some questions answered and how to best approach the situation overall. The house I currently live in was given to me on my 18th birthday by my grandparents. I have sole ownership of the house, and I’ve been paying the bills for years.
My mom is a narcissist and has been abusive towards me for years. Recently, she’s become more aggressive by holding me in a headlock, choking me, throwing and gesturing knives towards me, breaking objects in the house, threatening to harm the animals we have, or surrendering them to the shelter.
I’ve tried talking to my grandparents to see if I can kick her out of the house because she’s a dangerous individual who refuses to seek help. They are against me kicking her out of the house because she’s my mother, and she wouldn’t have anywhere to go.
The past weekend has been the last straw for me, as she encouraged me to kill myself, and she wouldn’t care, and that she refuses to leave the house if I’m still living there, but she’ll only leave if I leave the house as well. I ended up hospitalizing myself because she triggered a severe panic attack.
Currently, I’m staying at a friend’s place until I get my questions answered, and I can provide some context of the situation, which should be enough to answer my questions. I also live in the State of New Mexico, which may help clarify property owner rights.
I would appreciate your advice about this situation. Everyone in my life wants me to move out, but I don’t think that’s fair, considering I own the house and pay the bills.
My questions are the following:
Since the house is under my name legally and I have full ownership, could I kick her off the property, or would I have to draft up an eviction notice since she’s been living there for a while now?
What rights does she have, and what rights do I, as an owner, have if I need to take this to court?
I have video documentation of the abuse she’s put me through. Would that help my case of kicking her out of the house?
All bills, aside from one, are under my name. Do I need to have all of them under my name to prevent her from using that against me? Even though I pay every single bill, including the one under her name?
Would a restraining order against her be a way to stay away from the house?
Comments
Clarify this: whose name is on the deed to the home? You? Your grandparents? All three?
If you’re on the deed/title and own the home, you do not need your grandparent’s permission. You do need to evict your mom, as she is a tenant. That means formal notice to vacate, then going to court for an eviction if she doesn’t leave. If she is getting violent you should call the police and start getting it on record.
NAL…Eviction is the proper, and possibly only real course of action. Alternatively, you could sell the house and buy a new one without her knowing where, which has the added benefit of her not knowing where you live. That said, if she still refuses to leave, you could be open to other legal issues related to the terms of sale.
Grandparents gave you a house but mom came with the deal? Document the abuse with the authorities and get a restraining order. Mom can move in with grandparents.
Definitely get a restraining order.
Eviction her legally. Then ghost her
Next time she abuses you call the police and have her charged. Also, look at getting a protection order or something similar