TD;LR seeing a guy for almost 3 months who every now and then makes boundaries to push me away. Every time I do the same behavior, a new boundary comes up. Now he says we can’t see each other or talk to each other outside of work. I’m autistic and struggling with mental health so I’m complex and understand I can be difficult.
So I’ve been talking to this guy and we went on one date. It was almost two months ago and we finally made plans this weekend but this time, as friends. In between times, he had a lot of boundaries that I respect. The first one was not really talking outside of work. He doesn’t like texting but didn’t mention calls or anything. Its fine. Then no physical contact. He would touch me a lot but once I returned the favor, he said no more. It was fine. We talk at work. I think I’ve done a good job. I’m autistic, so if someone says not to do anything but don’t give alternatives, I do nothing at all. I just wait until something else changes. But we had plans and he cancelled, then he changed his mind and said we can then he cancelled again last night after work. Said he just wasn’t sure. He wanted to, then he doesn’t, then he does and just said we should cut all outside communication and hanging out to zero. It’s fine. I wanted to hang out because I wanted to be around him unmasked, more of myself. Work environments can be tough on me. I mask a lot and I recently started dissociating because of it and I don’t have a space where I can express the need to just be alone sometimes. I also told him I was autistic the same day. What a nice coincidence, but I don’t think that’s why. I think that, I just communicate a lot or have too many differences. I get it, I don’t have any friends as people just don’t want to bother. But I have a nice figure and a cute face that brings people on, I get used to them being disappointed on who I really am. I think he just wants to be coworkers, we didn’t say it but that’s just how people are, I have to guess all the time. Maybe I didn’t pick up on the social cues of him not being interested? But I’m just glad he’s telling me. It’s been almost 3 months, maybe the 3 month rule is a real thing.