We Found Out I Was Pregnant a Month Into Dating — 7 Years Later, After Trauma, Diagnoses, and Healing, We’re Finally in a Good Place

Hi all — I’m 25F, currently pregnant with baby #2, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about where we started and how far we’ve come. I wanted to share our story — not because it’s a perfect one, but because it’s real, messy, and full of growth. And to be honest, I think that deserves to be celebrated too.

Seven years ago, I found out I was pregnant just one month into dating my now-husband. I was 18, and he was 16 — I didn’t even know how old he was at first. Those early days were a blur of drinking, smoking, and escaping — from trauma, from pain, from reality. We were not in a good place as individuals or as a couple.

Since then, we’ve both been diagnosed with things that make our progress feel even more meaningful in hindsight. My husband has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), and severe (non-social) anxiety. He also struggled with meth addiction before we met, and he’s been sober our entire relationship. He’s been in therapy for years now, doing deep work to understand himself and how his behaviors have affected others — especially me and our daughter. His growth hasn’t been linear, but it’s been real. He’s a completely different man today, and I’m proud of the work he’s put in.

As for me — I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anorexia, and several types of anxiety. I actually started treatment when I was just 12, so I had already been in and out of therapy and had my diagnoses long before I met him. But while I knew what I was working with, I hadn’t truly committed to myself or my recovery yet. I was surviving, managing symptoms, but not really healing. It took years — and motherhood — for me to finally choose myself in a real way. I’m still working every day to stay grounded, nourish my body, and regulate my emotions, but I can honestly say I show up differently now — for myself, for my partner, and for our kids.

I know our story might raise eyebrows — and honestly, I understand why. We started off in a place most people would run from. We were young, unstable, unhealthy, and hurting each other. And I’m not here to sugarcoat that or pretend it was okay — it wasn’t. But this story is ours, and what matters most to me is where we are now, not where we started.

There’s a lot of talk about how toxic relationships can’t be fixed and most of the time, they shouldn’t be. If only one person is willing to change, it won’t work. But when both people take real accountability, not just saying “I’m sorry,” but actively confronting their patterns, their trauma, their impact on others it makes healing possible.

It takes a level of honesty and humility that’s incredibly uncomfortable. It takes therapy, self-awareness, and time. It takes letting go of pride, sitting in shame without running from it, and choosing again and again to do things differently. It’s not romantic. It’s not easy. But it’s possible. We’re living proof of that.

So no, our story isn’t one I’d recommend anyone try to replicate. It’s messy and full of pain But it’s also full of transformation. And for anyone out there who’s wondering if people can truly change… if there’s hope after addiction, mental illness, emotional abuse, or deep dysfunction — the answer is yes.

But only if both people are truly willing to do the work, for themselves first. The relationship can’t heal unless the individuals do. That’s the truth.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

TL;DR:
I’m 25F, pregnant with baby #2. My husband (23M) and I found out I was pregnant a month into dating — I was 18, he was 16, and we were both dealing with serious trauma, substance use, and unhealthy behaviors. The relationship started off toxic and unstable.

Since then, he’s been diagnosed with NPD, IED, severe anxiety, and has stayed sober from meth our whole relationship. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anorexia, and anxiety, and started treatment at 12. We’ve both been in therapy for years and have done deep, hard work to heal individually and together.

We’re in a completely different place now — healthier, more stable, and emotionally safe. This post isn’t to romanticize a toxic start — it’s to say real change is possible only if both people are fully committed to growth and accountability. It’s been hard, but it’s been worth it.