For as long as I can remember, my family has treated my sister and me very differently. She’s the golden child. Ever since she was diagnosed with dyslexia, everything became about her. She’s praised, supported, and constantly prioritized. Meanwhile, I’ve always felt like I’m just there.
There are so many examples of the different treatment. When she got hurt, we rushed to the hospital. I tore my ACL, and my mom didn’t believe me for 2.5 years. When she finally took me to a doctor, he said if we’d waited longer my leg could’ve been paralyzed. At Christmas, she’d get her whole wishlist. I’d get the same number of gifts but with zero thought once I got only keychains while she got a DS.
They’ve never really cared about the things I like. Any time I talk about something that interests me, they either talk over me, change the subject, or mock it. I eventually stopped sharing. I honestly feel like they don’t even know me.
I struggle with depression, anxiety, and making friends. I was diagnosed and started therapy, but my mom made me quit, saying I was just “a little sad” and wanted attention.
She says I’m “cold” and “unpleasant” and acts like my issues with social interaction are a personality flaw. When we were younger, my sister and I were very close, but as adults, she only talks to me when she has nothing better to do or needs something. If I reach out to her, she rarely answers or makes time. My mom expects me to always be there for her, but when I point out she isn’t there for me, she says “that’s normal, she’s grown.”
The way we were treated after leaving home is also very different. I moved abroad for school, and no one seemed to care. A year later, my sister decided to move to the same country. My mom had a full meltdown and cried for days. That really hurt.
When I finished my degree and master’s, they told me to get a job right away because they wouldn’t support me anymore. Meanwhile, my sister is doing her third master’s with a job that pays barely anything, and they still act like she’s amazing.
A few months ago, my mom invited me on a weekend trip and offered to pay. I agreed. A week later, she told me I had to pay for my own ticket. Of course, she still paid for my sister’s.
The last straw was planning our family trip. I told them in advance I had to be back by the 27th to start a new job. They didn’t care, they just said “okay, we’ll keep going without you.” I flew home alone. They stayed and continued the trip like it was nothing.
When I told them how it made me feel, they said I was being dramatic and ungrateful. That’s when I finally said I was tired of being treated like I don’t matter.
Now they’re saying I’m overreacting, making things up, and that I should be more like my sister.
So AITA for finally telling them how I feel and not pretending everything is fine anymore?
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For as long as I can remember, my family has treated my sister and me very differently. She’s the golden child. Ever since she was diagnosed with dyslexia, everything became about her. She’s praised, supported, and constantly prioritized. Meanwhile, I’ve always felt like I’m just there.
There are so many examples of the different treatment. When she got hurt, we rushed to the hospital. I tore my ACL, and my mom didn’t believe me for 2.5 years. When she finally took me to a doctor, he said if we’d waited longer my leg could’ve been paralyzed. At Christmas, she’d get her whole wishlist. I’d get the same number of gifts but with zero thought once I got only keychains while she got a DS.
They’ve never really cared about the things I like. Any time I talk about something that interests me, they either talk over me, change the subject, or mock it. I eventually stopped sharing. I honestly feel like they don’t even know me.
I struggle with depression, anxiety, and making friends. I was diagnosed and started therapy, but my mom made me quit, saying I was just “a little sad” and wanted attention.
She says I’m “cold” and “unpleasant” and acts like my issues with social interaction are a personality flaw. When we were younger, my sister and I were very close, but as adults, she only talks to me when she has nothing better to do or needs something. If I reach out to her, she rarely answers or makes time. My mom expects me to always be there for her, but when I point out she isn’t there for me, she says “that’s normal, she’s grown.”
The way we were treated after leaving home is also very different. I moved abroad for school, and no one seemed to care. A year later, my sister decided to move to the same country. My mom had a full meltdown and cried for days. That really hurt.
When I finished my degree and master’s, they told me to get a job right away because they wouldn’t support me anymore. Meanwhile, my sister is doing her third master’s with a job that pays barely anything, and they still act like she’s amazing.
A few months ago, my mom invited me on a weekend trip and offered to pay. I agreed. A week later, she told me I had to pay for my own ticket. Of course, she still paid for my sister’s.
The last straw was planning our family trip. I told them in advance I had to be back by the 27th to start a new job. They didn’t care, they just said “okay, we’ll keep going without you.” I flew home alone. They stayed and continued the trip like it was nothing.
When I told them how it made me feel, they said I was being dramatic and ungrateful. That’s when I finally said I was tired of being treated like I don’t matter.
Now they’re saying I’m overreacting, making things up, and that I should be more like my sister.
So AITA for finally telling them how I feel and not pretending everything is fine anymore?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents made me feel like I had no reason to react the way I reacted and that I ruined the trip before it started because of my attitude. With the context I provided and that I explained to my parents I feel me lashing out is justified
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA some context could be added regarding age etc for info but it’s not okay for them to treat you this way and you have every right to tell them how you feel and set boundaries with them in future
YTA.
You should cut them from your life totaly.
No one will stand for you, you must do it.
NTA, but you will be the AH to yourself if you keep letting this happen. They’re a bunch of dismissive self-absorbed dicks, but you’re a doormat. Enough is enough. Just start doing your own thing….move forward, pursue what brings you joy and fulfillment, and pretend like they don’t exist. Either they’ll eventually notice your lack of contact and ask (or berate) you, or they’ll just keep doing their own sister-centric shit and it’ll be business as usual. Just live your life. Stop letting them shit in your Cheerios.
NTA. Look up ‘glass child syndrome’. It also sounds like you sister is the golden child.
Obviously you’re NTA. I think that you should consider going low or no contact with your family, there is no reason for you to be a doormat for them. Also a little more info for context please, age difference, etc.
Nta
And you won’t cut them out of your life because?
lol girl you’re too damn old to be all sad and whiny about this. Be an adult and cut off people who clearly have no love for you. You won’t ever get that love and validation you want. The gum on the floor would get more attention from them compared to you. NTA create the family you deserve !
NTA it sound like you should go NC for a good while a couple years maybe
Nobody choosing you, ever, is a constant in your life. You must start choosing yourself, to save yourself. You’re never going to get what you need from your “family” so stop giving them opportunities to reject you.
I apologize for being painfully blunt. You are worthy of a good life, love, and kindness. Leave these horrible people behind you and move forward. Decisions like this are very hard but not impossible, you are a survivor, believe in yourself.
NTA
NTA. As much as it might hurt immediately you might want to think about cutting them out of your life. It’s clear they don’t love or care about you and it’s being detrimental to your mental health.