PLEASE before anyone sends any hate
I had no idea he was even taken until two days ago. ( English is my third language please be patient if I make mistake )
It was a one night stand something I’ve never done let alone have unprotected sex but I just found out my sister was murdered so I decided to go out and drink my feelings with a friend.
Last Saturday I decided to go drink which is something I never do because I hate the taste of alcohol but with my sister being gone I am now alone other than my 1 friend in the states.
At the bar these two guys come up to me and my friend and we dance and drink.
We end up leaving the club a little early and my friend stays in one car and I go into the car with the guy I danced with. He begins to lift up my dress and get on top of me I ask if he has a condom and he just continues. I then stop him after about few minutes and tell him I need to get to my friend but he keeps telling me she’s okay he text his friend but I am able to get out of his car and go to hers. I try to tell her it’s time to leave and she tells me to “say goodbye to the guy I was in the car with” I tell her I did and I widen my eyes. The guy I was with ends up telling me to get in his car that he’ll take me to my city because he has to pass it to get to another city that he lives in ( I forgot to mention in the club he told me he told me he was from a different state so idk) But yes I have to tell him no 5 times and his entire demeanor goes dark. I ask for his name again he tho I knew it and he tells me I don’t need to know and drives off. His friend is still in my friends car taking shots from what she said. My friend drives us to her home and in the morning tells me about her interaction with the guy and how he was begging to come to hers blah blah she then puts his name into cash app and his actual name shows up not the one he told her. So we look on social media and find out he’s been married since January ( she then proceeded to say something about him having money and she doesn’t care and I tell her off about this). From his page we end up finding the guy I went in the car with and it’s private but another account pops up and it’s a girl. When we click on her page we see that they have been engaged since September 2024 and that they get married tomorrow from a Zola website. I feel awful. I haven’t been able to sleep or eat because I hate cheaters and I can’t believe I even had a “one night stand”. I’m not sure if I should tell his fiancee because I would want to know if it were me and she still has time to save herself. Please give me advice on what I should do. I don’t know if I should say anything.
Comments
I do not want him at all! I would never tell anyone out of spite. I have been cheated on before and wish I was told
Tell his fiancée, she deserves to know.
Tell the fiance.
You don’t know anything about these people. People lie. Your detective work doesn’t prove anything. Maybe he has that set up so that no one will date him.
You need to accept your own choices. You told the whole situation by saying “I never do this”. Try retelling it (to yourself) by saying what happened as if you made the choice to do the things you chose. It might help you calm down.
I recommend that you don’t contact anyone you think is related to those guys.
Tell the fiancé now so she doesn’t have to deal with this down the road because he would definitely cheat again
Obviously tell her
Tell her asap.
Also, I’m sorry but reading this it sounds like you were assaulted. He had sex with you without a condom after you asked for a condom and be penetrated you anyway.
He sexually assaulted you.
Be sure to post a follow-up when this all blows up in your face.
You made a stupid, drunken mistake. It would be best not to follow it up with a stone-cold sober one.
The last thing in the world you want is any reason for this guy to remember you, let alone remember you as the person who ruined his marriage (which is the way he will see it).
Tellll her cause not only is he a cheater sounds like he borderline assaulted you!
I bet you’re lucky to have a new experience not everyone has
Yes, tell her. She needs to know the kind of person he is now rather than several years down the road when they share property and kids.
First of all, I am extreamly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain and void that has been caused in you. Please make sure to take care of your mental health through the grief process.
It is not your fault that he didn’t tell you he was engaged, from how this was explained, it sounds like he was trying to pressure you, borderline SA, but I apologize if I am misunderstanding. If I was the girl getting married, I would want to know. How can we make a decision without having all the information? She deserves to know everything before marrying this idiot.
If you tell her, she may not believe it at first, she may blame you, or even block you. You do not know what he is saying to her; he could be manipulating the situation. However, you are providing a sliver of skepisim that she can lookout for, they will either work it out or they won’t, which is not your fault. Tell her and then leave it alone, that’s that. Or don’t tell her, that is your choice. But you are the most important person, please take care of yourself.
You need to tell the fiance.
Please tell her
What I hear is you are in a vulnerable position emotionally and he takes advantage of that, also violating your consent (needing to be told no FIVE TIMES is not normal). He’s a disgusting person. You can try to tell her, but be careful. She might not believe you, or accuse you to make it up to get with the man… many things can happen. I think that the best thing to take care of yourself is feel the grief, even though it’s absolutely atrocious. I hope you do have friends, but maybe some sort of support group with people that are going thru something similar could be helpful. I wish you all the best. And I hope he is exposed and single for life.
tell the girl. if you really didnt know and you want to save yourself from the guilt and shame down the road, do the right thing. you dont want to carry that and he clearly has no respect for her meaning in the future, he may turn into an abusive husband. after you tell her it is up to her to save herself you did your part
Ps: you did not “have sex” with him, he assaulted you. His fiancee deserves to know he’s a criminal. That goes beyond just cheating. What he did is a crime.
What did you end up doing op?
Definitely tell his fiance. You were sexually assaulted by this man. This may even qualify as rape.
Tell her so you can both get tested for STDs. This is some great guy. He has unprotected sex right before his wedding, possibly impregnating the OP, maybe passing an STD to the OP, or passing an STD onto his bride. Such a quality dude.
Did you get raped? Didn’t sound like it was consensual.
Yes tell her and tell on his friend she can tell the friends wife