My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. I’ve been thinking about proposing soon. Things are good until this week.
Ok Monday my ex(Lindsay) randomly sent me a message saying she missed me. I replied and said it was nice to hear from her but that I won’t be talking with her.
She then started to send some inappropriate pics of herself. I messaged that I would be blocking her and to not contact me again.
This all happened Monday night and my gf was already asleep. I worked early and didn’t get a chance to tell her what happened.
Around lunchtime on Tuesday my girlfriend calls me screaming that I’m cheating on her with Lindsay. Apparently Lindsay contacted her and told her that we’ve been cheating online with each other. She had screenshots of her sending pics through dm on insta(which I never use but have an old account). Obviously there were no replies from me, but Lindsay claims it was meant to be that way so I could deny. She called my gf crying and saying she was sorry which is all an act.
When I got home I showed me gf everything. Showed her the texts. Went through all my social medias and it wasn’t enough. She still believes that there may be something going on. She left to stay with a friend and told me she needs time to think. I freaked out and said if she doesn’t believe me to not come back.
What can I do here? I feel like I’m going crazy.
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Unfortunately you may have to prepare yourself for the worst. If she can’t trust you than it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m telling you from experience that having trust issues already before marriage is very costly. If she is ready to cut the relationship loose over something out of the blue then she was already looking for a way out
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. If she is so inecure that she believes an Ex over you, then that’s on her. You shouldn’t need to prove anything, especially when you have shown her everything.
Give her some space to cool off and see if she will be reasonable.
Sorry OP but this is why when you have a break up you hard block your ex on everything. You told your current GF of 3 years not to come back if she doesn’t believe you? Your relationship is cooked. You didn’t cheat but saying that was the nail in the coffin. Its over because you handled it wrong.
I’m not buying this… and even if what you’re saying is true you still need to take accountability. You should have told her when it happened, it doesn’t matter if she’s asleep wake her up for 20 minutes to talk and show her what’s going on. And there’s definitely no excuse for you not telling her in the morning. How do you just forget that? She is obviously not gonna be very trusting to you. But if you really are innocent, take accountability for what you did and express what you should have done… then it’s a matter of seeing what she does. Also who tells an ex it’s good to hear from them
hire someone for Lindsay 🙌🏼
I would say after everything with time she will see that you have not gotten back with your ex and realize what she did trusting your ex was wrong. She may come back to you but then it’s another challenging decision to take her back with trust issues
but in all seriousness, as a girl who’s engaged to my partner who has done similar things in the past. Honestly if you guys both work together and not against each other, things could end up alright and probably bring you guys so much closer in the end. You should show her how much she means to you by actions!! (definitely waitttt a bit longer on proposing now that this happened..)
Hahaha, “see babe I posted it on reddit!”, nice try to coverup that you asked your ex for nudes dude but nobody is buying this. Especially not your misso, who is probably now also your ex. Maybe try and ask her for nudes in a few months
Let the ex be an ex. I will never understand why people stay in contact with an ex. There is a reason why they are an ex. Block.
Consider this: if the roles were reversed, would you be comfortable with her ex sending her pictures and her responding like you did without blocking him? Or telling you.
Your reaction, specifically telling her not to come back if she doesn’t believe you, only reinforces her concerns and ultimately jeopardizes your relationship. Trust has been broken, and moving forward will be challenging if she can’t trust you.
Should have never responded to Lindsay at all in the first place.
It isn’t about trust, she is still aware you have seen naked images of your ex. She is allowed to feel however she wants about that, and frankly, your ex should have already been blocked. You essentially enabled the behavior by not blocking from step one.
Your response is horrible, you need to take that back. Try and see it from her perspective, your choice to take personal offence when she is currently feeling wounded and scared is selfish. You owe her an apology, and you should try and listen to how she feels and let her talk through her emotions. How you feel is really irrelevant in this situation, because her perspective is quite literally being told you are cheating, being supplied proof, and knowing for a fact you saw your exes nudes.
Why on earth would you tell an ex its nice to hear from them when they tell you they miss you? And what is the need to tell someone you’re going to block them before you do? Especially when they do something so disrespectful.
Had a girl do this to me when another came on to me. I broke up with her cuz I don’t play games. Might be best for you if she Jumps to conclusions so easily
Don’t get mad when her ex sends her the same type of pics!
Kick your gf to the curb. Three years in and she’s fooled by an x. More of a fool than you can handle.
If your girlfriend doesn’t believe you then she has trust issues and that’s kind of a deal breaker. Choosing to believe your ex over the stuff you can show her as facts.
And for future, if an ex ever reaches out, unless they are telling you they had your child or something wild, there isn’t a need to even respond with “I won’t be talking to you”. Anytime an ex has reached out, I’ve ignored it and if more messages came in it was an automatic block.
Why put its nice to hear from her? Should have just blocked.
If your gf won’t listen to you and believes that you’re cheating it’s probably because she’s been through it.
All that you can do is what you’ve done. Bare your soul and ask her to trust you. If she can’t get past this then your relationship was fragile to begin with and your ex did you a service.
By the way, ditch the telephone number and any social media that your ex is aware of. This will save your sanity from a ‘next time’ occurring…
Your reaction makes you look guilty. Geez. Your gf was valid in feeling upset with the info she was given. You owe her an apology
This is stupid. Commenters are being stupid too! “Hey glad you’re doing well I’m in relationship and won’t be talking back” was appropriate. End of story, nothing to see here. Your girl has questions hand her your phone give her the passcode. If that isn’t good enough for her then something else is going on. Did you cheat in the past? Because either your gf is too jealous to be in relationship or you’re leaving something out of the scenario. If neither of those are true then your response was appropriate. Unfortunately your relationship is cooked only the blame is on your gf and your ex. Your failure to totally block your ex is the only thing you did wrong.