For the months I’m not in school, I live with my mom. My sister, her husband, and their 3 kids (ages 1,3 & 6) also live with us. Over the past few days I received charges totaling over 2.6k on my account. I received some evidence hinting it was my sisters husband but he kept denying it and telling me to just dispute it with my bank. I ended up calling every company the unrecognized purchases were made and my evidence against him was so strong and undeniable which caused him to confess this morning. Him, my sister, and their kids are away at Disney land so this was done via text in a group chat with me, my mom, and sister.
He told me the kids were playing with my makeup in my room, he came in my room and saw my debit card was on the dresser, so decided to snap photos of it and used it the upcoming days.
I don’t know what to do. My friends are all saying to file a report but my mom and cousins believe it would be wrong since this would negatively impact the kids as well.
TLDR; my sisters husband saw my card in my room, took photos of it and purchased 2.6kUSD worth of items. He denied it but once I got proof he came clean and sent the money back. Should I still file a police report?
Comments
Pure theft.
Report it, don’t care whose husband he is.
He needs to be responsible for HIS actions. Just tell them the bank requested the police report.
If it’s debit you can’t even dispute it. Report it to the police, show them the text messages
Would he have ever told you on his own, let alone given the money back?
File with the police. Choices have consequences and he chose poorly.
File a report, he stole from you. He’s probably done it before and will do it again.
Absolutely report it. He wasn’t going to admit to it. He needs to learn a lesson and I don’t think he has yet.
he’s a liar and a thief. freeze your credit and lock up all valuables and financial paperwork
I’d be primarily concerned about sharing a roof with this psychopath
Does he deserve one chance?
Always file the police report. You don’t have to pursue it if you don’t want to (the state may do its own thing), but don’t own his debt and theft from you.
I would go to the bank and get them to issue a new card with new numbers and do forth since he has the details. He wont be able to use it then. Definitely report to the police. If he is so concerned for his kuds, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place
There will be consequences for him when you report. And obligations for you – only you can make that choice. What he did was a serious crime. I caught my close friend stealing from me – not a card but still. It was a bad choice and opportunity due to my trust. I confronted her and decided not to proceed for now, did not want to ruin her career and ability to provide. I have time and proof – I will see if we make things right. I conveyed how serious this was, stealing from me. She also didn’t lie like you said he did. That’s my choice with someone close – you decide what is right for you and your family. Strangers can’t decide for you.
why would he use your card if he had money to pay you back?
who did he take that money from? how do you know bank won’t take it back saying it was a fraudulent transfer and then you are on hook for his purchases
credit freeze; dispute charges; police report; bank insisted on filing if he asked it’s out of your hands
just say that after he denied it you called the bank saying it was fraud and their investigation has now taken on a life of its own and if he came clean from the get go this wouldn’t of happened
he can feel all the guilt and all the blame as he should
His criminal actions impact his kids. And your financial security.
Report his ass. Tell your family who has a problem with it that he should have considered his children before committing theft.
>“I don’t know what to do”
Girl wtf are you talking about? Like genuinely why even bother taking your family members opinion into consideration, they didn’t get 2k stolen from them? Clap back and tell them that if he was so worried about his kids he wouldn’t have stolen from family.
Edit-
Oh I’m furious. He sent that money back so fucking quick meaning he had the money in the first place. You ain’t mad enough for me girl.
He stole from you, and your family should be on your side for the fact he stole from you. Don’t trust your family and get a new card to protect yourself and your future credit.
Hang on a second… Is her remorseful at all? Is this out of character? Does he have any history of anything like this? If he was a stranger – absolutely report this. But this is the father of your 3 nieces/nephews and your sister’s husband. Maybe time for an extended family meeting to discuss this. It sounds like he’s SCUM – but how will this affect your relationship with your sister or the security of her and her kids?
I’d personally want him to repay everything plus money for the time spent gathering evidence. It doesn’t sound like they needed the money for necessities (not if they’re going to Disneyland). I’d also want assurances (something seriously close to absolute) that this won’t happen again. If he resists in any way, minimizes his culpability, makes excuses then fk him. Report his ass.
Unpopular opinion, but I’m giving it anyway because life experience makes me feel like things are far less clear cut. If in all other ways than your relationship with him that everything is actually “back to normal” (i.e., financially, credit score, reputation, fees) I would not file a police report.
What he did was wrong. It was stupid. It was illegal. But he’s also father to your sister’s kids. And a husband to your sister. And someone who will forever be in your life to some extent, likely for the worse.
Creating a legal entanglement that, once set into motion, you’re not going to be able to undo, will definitely make everything worse for everyone with limited upside (again, unless his theft is impacting you in a way that only getting a police report would resolve). You will have to give statements, he will be hauled into court. He might go to jail, you might have to testify. You may have to get a lawyer. He will definitely have to get a lawyer. Your sister and mother might hate you. Your sister might keep you from seeing your niece/nephews for weeks, months, years, adulthood.
If you did report him, will he learn his lesson? Maybe? Will it be hard for him to get jobs if he is convicted of larceny? Definitely. Will that have a direct impact on the people you love? Yes. Will you be held responsible for fucking his shit up? Almost definitely. Will that be fair? No.
For all those reasons, I’d say don’t do it. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
If you let him off Scott free, it’s going to majorly bite you in the ass.
Steals nearly $3,000 k while is Disneyland? Because he saw your debit card? That’s beyond trying to brush it aside. Guy seems entitled to have a move time on others dimes. Guy is going to bring down three generations of women financially because why?
Yes report it.
He’s unhinged and his actions are going to hurt the kids one way or another. He was so blatant, no way this is his first theft. He is also probably funding an addiction, to be stealing so blatantly. Better for him to face consequences sooner rather than later.
Also, you should move out ASAP. Toxic environment for you. Can you stay with a friend?