I meet a boy online and he is 18 and I am a 16 year old girl. We have been talking, texting and facetiming for about 6 months and we frequntly talk about sex but he lives across the country. We have always talked about sex a lot, and he knows that I am a virgin and he has told me he has a high body count. He is coming to my city to visit me and tells me that when he sees me he wants to take my viriginity. By my town laws, it is legal for an individual above 16 to consent to sex with anyone above the age of 16 as well… what is everyones thoughs because I really like him and should i let him take my virigintiy?
TLDR; meet boy online whos older than me, should i let him take my virginty?
Comments
For him you are just a number. For you he would be your first experience you remember forever. I’m sure he may be saying a lot of lovely things, but there’s no way of knowing he means what he says. Also, keep in mind that many people’s “first time” is typically incredibly awkward as you’re not as familiar with your body or what you like or what to expect. This is true even if the person you’re having sex with is experienced.
I would make him show you recent STD/STI test results before sleeping with him, and still use a condom anyway JUST IN CASE in order to prevent pregnancy as well as stds. Men are typically asymptomatic, which means that they don’t even tend to realize they have caught something, and end up spreading it. If you ask him to get tested and send you proof of it, and he refuses or puts up any kind of fight, take that as what it is- that he doesn’t care enough about you or your health or safety to do something simple and easy in order to protect the both of you.
Finally, do you want to? Genuinely, when you’ve discussed sex with him, who was leading the conversation? This guy has never met you in person and you’re considering sleeping with him. I’m not saying that to shame you, I’m saying it to remind you that regardless of talking to him (and even FaceTiming) for 6 months, he could still be anyone. Sometimes you can have excellent chemistry online with someone, and then meetup in person and it feels like a total stranger. Sometimes that initial awkwardness eases up, sometimes it doesn’t. With all of the prior talk of sex, meeting up with him will almost assuredly make you feel like you have to have sex with him because of all of the prior conversations, and that’s definitely something to be wary of. If he were to come to your city to visit you and you turned him down for sex, do you think he would be mad? Would you even be able to turn him down? These are all things you need to consider. Remember that sex should NEVER happen if you’re feeling forced, or like you have to or that you owe it to someone, or if you are afraid to say no.
Editing to add: this is all said without my commentary on the age gap. What I will say about that is that while it may be legal, that doesn’t mean it’s right. He is already in a position of power in that he has more sexual experience than you and will be more easily able to convince you to do things you don’t want to do; with him being older he will also most likely be bigger and stronger than you and able to cause some serious damage if things go awry.