We have a 6 months old baby girl and are currently vacationing with the parents of my partner. After we’ve bathed her last night the parents asked what will happen if they bathe her? „Would she like it or would she scream etc?“ And I was so confused because in my mind nobody is bathing my baby but me and babydaddy at this point.
Also FIL always saying stuff to the baby like „do you want to go shower with me instead of being bathed by your parents“ not meaning it an awkward way but it still bothers me.
They have looked after her for a couple hours total until now because I had doctors appointments and couldn’t take her but haven’t been alone with her for longer periods.
I don’t see why they would bathe or even want to bathe my daughter when we let them babysit. She would be brought to them freshly cleaned anyway???
It kind of gives me the ick to think about it but maybe I am too concerned with everyone and everything?! So my question is, do you let other people (in laws) bathe your baby’s at that age ? Who’s allowed to and why?
We have or at least had pre birth a good relationship so this isn’t a rant post I genuinely don’t know if this is normal parents in law behavior
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Omg omg omg no no no
I don’t even have kids and this gives me the creeps
It was normal in my family. My mother and my in-laws bathed my infants and toddlers. They didn’t bathe WITH my infants and toddlers.
We had no concerns because the grandparents didn’t exhibit concerning behavior.
I haven’t had anyone else bathe my baby as he’s only a few weeks old, but when my nephew was a few months old I gave him baths when I babysat him (my sister had told me it was okay and it was part of his bedtime routine). So I don’t think it’s necessarily odd to have other people bathe the baby. But, it should be whatever you’re comfortable with – if you don’t want other people doing it just now then don’t!
I would not want my baby who will be slippery on a grown ass man’s chest while the body is near his naked penis. What the hell. With all the SA in the world. How can anyone even think suggesting this is ok. No one really ever really needs to be naked around your child.
Try to understand generational attitudes have changed, so this is where it’s coming from, but of course it’s no longer appropriate.
Tell them NO and make it clear to them they do not have your consent and if they ask again, they will not be trusted to be left alone with your Baby.
I don’t know about anyone else but me. As a mom, bath time was one of my favorite things with my kids. Now, as a grandma, I still love bath time. When grandbaby was an infant, it was just another way to bond. Now that grandbaby is a toddler, we play, splash, sing, etc. It’s just fun.
If my kid was uncomfortable with the idea, I wouldn’t push.
Bathe maybe, if necessary. Shower with grandpa? Um NO.
They’re being weird, & need to quit fixating on this.
Um, what the fuck. FIL; “Do you want to go to the shower with me?”. No. Absolutely fucking not. No No no. Gross.
I think bathing is part of babysitting, as in bathing the child if there’s a blow out or they played outside and they are dirty etc. However bathing or showering WITH the child is absolutely a big no no, and I think you are creeped out by the whole thing because his comment about showering with the baby was weird.
If I didn’t trust someone to bathe my child, I wouldn’t be leaving my child with them.
I find it odd. But maybe just because I don’t understand why that is something a grandparent wants to do. Like in my mind, grandparents would want the “fun” time with the babies like playing or reading a bedtime story. Don’t get me wrong, I think bath time is fun with my kiddos, but they’re 2 and 15 months, I don’t remember them actively playing when they were only 6 months. Also, I know it’s pretty common, but I do not understand how people shower with their babies. Like in no world could I hold my kids and shampoo my hair, and I’m not getting in the shower solely to wash my kiddos then have to get out and deal with drying them + myself off.
Oh hell NO!! Absolutely not. Giving a bath is one thing if needed. Taking a shower or bathing with various adult family members (outside of mom or dad) crosses the line.
Gross.
No, we are doing her baths.
Period.
As a mother and a grandmother…..NO, just NO.
I’m sorry but I feel the ick just reading this.
It never came up for us cause we were always home with our babies for bath time and I’m a SAHM. My sons are 1 & 2 now and the only time someone else gave my oldest a bath is when I was in the hospital having my 2nd, and it was my mom who had him in her care, which I trust completely. We’re not even comfortable with the idea of our children sleeping over somewhere else yet. The only other person I’d let give my children a bath is their paternal grandmother. I’d say, especially since the baby is only 6 months old, you’re not wrong for not wanting anyone else to bathe her. I think the only way you’d be wrong is if she got super messy and you weren’t going to be available to clean her.
Taking a bath/shower with someone else…no.
Bathing them or changing their diaper, fine as long as they can safely handle a squirmy baby/toddler.
Bathe.. sure, could be an option but..
“do you want to go shower with me instead of being bathed by your parents“ … that gave me goosebumps!
Like… ewwww?? No??!!
That is a 100% BIGGGG no no. Like fuck NO!! SMH 🤦🏽♀️
What your FIL said to your baby was not normal. Really, who says that?
It doesn’t matter if he was joking. It doesn’t matter if he was no nefarious intentions with her and is completely clueless about how inappropriate it was.
It was inappropriate. It made you uncomfortable. Your discomfort matters, and your baby’s safety matters.
Going against the grain a little here. Both my mom and MIL have given my son baths since pretty early on. Sometimes when they’re here they offer to do it to give me a break. I’ve always included them in the process because they do watch him for long weekends and/or overnights. They’ve never mentioned bathing WITH him, which is of course where I’d draw a line.
Bathe or change a diaper. Eh, sure? Some families share those responsibilities.
Shower? Hell f’ing no. I would draw the line at that for sure
Red flag! No old man gets to see girl babies naked, they simply can’t be trusted.
So different families operate differently and some parents are fine with other people bathing their babies.
HOWEVER – the fact that you said no and they’re still pushing it IS weird to me. They asked, you answered, done.
“MIL/FIL why are you so obsessed with bathing my baby?”
“FIL – why do you keep trying to be naked with my baby?”
Yeah no, that’s weird to me. Especially your FIL. Ask your hubby if your FIL showered with him as a baby. Maybe this was normal for them? But yeah, I got the ick even reading this. I would make it clear this is a no go. Ultimately, if you’re not comfortable – then it doesn’t happen. Period. Trust your gut and get hubby on board.
I feel like the ick factor here comes mostly from how it was phrased. Like I’ve been vacationing with relatives before and offered to bathe little ones to give their parents a break (defining factor here being that baby NEEDED the bath), but there’s no realm of reality where I would even consider bathing with them! That’s a super weird thing for a grown man to say to/about a child, and would definitely influence my level of comfort with him being alone with my kid moving forward.
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To be honest I think it entirely depends on you and your baby daddy.
If you’re not comfortable, don’t do it.
My wife and I didn’t mind my parents doing this when our kids were little babies, but only for the first like six months, and in that time I think it only happened once, but cleared with us because we were at their place and didn’t have our baby bath with us.
However, both of my parents have bathed our kids in the baby bath at our place, and have supervised bath time at their place when the kids were at their place and were much younger then they are now.
This is generational.
When I was an infant everybody in the extended family bathed me at one point or another. It was the norm. My parents bathed my kids I didn’t have an issue with it.
With the modern openness about SA I’m sure more people are concerned about it now but not so long ago this wasn’t a big deal.
But you’re the mom, you call the shots. Don’t let anyone do anything with your baby that, as a mom, you are not comfortable with.
This is weird, you arent in the wrong for being concerned about the VERY odd questioning (it rubs me the wrong way personally). Trust your instincts.
This is really odd and overstepping. The only time I’ve given my grandson a bath was when he had a massive diaper blowout.
Hell no
The bathing wouldn’t be an issue for me. My parents bathe my kids all the time and my husband and I are grateful for the help, and I adore that my parents are bonding with our kids.
The issue is that the in laws aren’t respecting your boundaries and keep pushing for it. Thats rude.
At the very least, they’re going about it oddly. If they just asked, hey can we give her a bath, you can say yes or no, easy. But you were confused because what they asked was confusing! It feels weird because they’re making it weird
Your kids, your wish…
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with certain things which might happen in other households, when it comes to your kids specially.
Tell them you’re not comfortable with them bathing her. If They create issues out if it, then be sure It’s a red flag.
As others have said it’s a generational difference around whats ‘normal’ and ‘safe’ … both opinions are valid but as the parents YOU get to set the boundaries.
Babydaddy or you need to clearly communicate that you hear their comments around bathing and showering LO but that things are very different these days and there is a need for more protective boundaries to minimise and eliminate risks. That their comments could be viewed as predatory or grooming and that they need to know that they will NOT be bathing LO or showering with her at any point and you would like the comments to stop as they make you uncomfortable.
If they are reasonable people they will respect that boundary, however do expect some big feelings as they will 1) take time to adjust to a shift in view point, 2) potentially take it personally that you think they could be capable of that. You just need to reaffirm that NO you are not saying they would, but that as her parents it is your responsibility to minimise or eliminate any opportunity for risk.
I have bathed many kids in my extended family. That has been totally the norm and part of my babysitting duties.
The only time I have ever showered with children (apart from my stepson) was before or after swimming and we were all wearing swimsuits.
I’ve bathed all my four grandchildren from the time they were fairly young infants, but I’m the maternal grandmother and my daughters live close, so maybe that makes a difference.
As a grandparent myself, i dont think bathing an infant or showering with an infant is weird at all. I used to bathe my grandson sometimes when he was under 3, and I was watching him or his parents were busy with other tasks.
But circumstances are a bit different by the time my granddaughter came along, and I have not ended up bathing her. Not because there’s any problem with it, everyone’s schedules and routines are a bit different, and it hasn’t come up. I dont feel like im missing out, and it wouldn’t occur to me to ask if I can bathe her like it’s some kind of treat.
So, to me, the weird thing is not grandparents’ bathing the baby, but how they seem to be so eager to do it.
Yeah, if any of the grandparent of my children were looking after them for a few days, I could understand they would need to clean them. The weird part is the insistence on bathing your child when they have already been bathed and cleaned by you.
Did my in-laws bathe my kids? Yes. But my kids spent multiple days with my in-laws and would be doing activities to get dirty.
BUT it was treated as a necessary task and was treated age appropriately. Full bathing as babies, washing the hair of little kids, and completely hands off now. Never was it treated as a fun activity to do with grandparents. And grandpa asking granddaughter to shower with him is a huge red flag! Their need to have this happen is triggering all my alarm bells. If it were me I would be rethinking leaving my kids alone with them at all!
No way! Dang as soon as i read it, gave me the ick, sorry i don’t think it’s normal, i saying in another post earlier, I’m a victim of SA by my stepfather and mostly of the cases happen in the child’s home or by people they know, so no, for me is a big no, never let anyone bath my son and with my girl no way jose, I don’t even want sleepovers. It triggers me already when my mil wants to have my babies alone (I always denied) idk what they want to do that can’t do in front of me, imagine such crazy request, if I was in your shoes, I would never let them babysit anymore.
Who showers with a 6 month old? Do they sit them on the floor?
Absolutely not! No one bathed my kids ever. Now that they are older and can do everything themselves I might tell my mom or sister they need a bath tonight and the kid does everything. But never would I allow anyone else to help bathe my kids.
I don’t let anyone but me and dad change my daughters diaper either. Like why?
The ‘showering with grandpa’ is weird AF and a no-go. Time to sit the in laws down and explain to them what normal grandparent behavior is, because this isn’t it.
Anyone asking or demanding alone time with my child is a red flag 🚩 for me so this is also such. The way to develop trust is to just allow things to develop naturally. If they let them flow along naturally then you will feel much more comfortable. Them trying to put the child in the drivers seat of saying yes please instead of you is a boundary I would not be ok with either.
I think FIL’s “shower with me” comments are alarming. That would definitely get my attention. I would keep LO close to me and tell them NO. They cannot bathe baby. Seems super strange to me. I was a victim of SA so I was always on high alert for things like this when my kids were little. Good luck, OP. Trust your intuition.
Heck no never
OH MY GOSH grandpa saying “shower with me” is PEDO BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!
I find them wanting to bathe your baby weird if they aren’t doing any caregiving. Who brings that kind of stuff up? I’d flat out ask them, hey what’s up with bringing up bathing baby so often? Do you think she stinks? Make it light and not accusatory. But I’d want to know why it’s all of a sudden a topic of interest.
Listen to your gut! Gramps cannot be alone with your baby ever.
I had this exact issue with my MIL. It was odd and off-putting from the very beginning. Eventually we allowed her to babysit one time when my eldest was three, (we always brought the kiddo to their house freshly bathed and asked for no extra baths because of pretty serious eczema)
Imagine my surprise when, at my BIL’s wedding a few days later, MIL whips out her phone and starts showing me pics from their time together.
Next thing I know I’m staring at my naked child on her phone. I calmly approached my husband and told him what was on her phone because again, we were at a wedding and I don’t want to make a scene. She came to me a bit later apologizing in a very dismissive way and saying she, “deleted the kddy prn”. She explained that my child had gotten water all over themselves and for some reason that warranted an entire sink bath for my toddler and somehow that ended with photos containing my child’s entire naked body…
More things happened that night and I ended up punching her in the face. We went no contact and stayed that way for an entire year.
Fifteen years later my kids still aren’t allowed to be alone with her AT ALL and they have very low contact and very closely supervised visits.
I’m literally working on giving MIL just enough rope to hang herself with and the moment my husband is ready to go NC himself, I will celebrate 🥂.
I don’t care what the intentions were, it’s inappropriate and strange for people to fixate on seeing a child naked, and if your IL’s are like mine, they might escalate into finding other ways to get your kid naked. Idk why.
🚩WHAT DID I JUST READ???🚩🚩🚩NO. FIL may not shower with your baby. Or be alone with your baby. MIL / FIL should not bathe your baby because they’re giving you (and everybody else) the ick. Trust your maternal instincts. They are there for a reason. Just tell them No. And if they keep pushing maybe they don’t need to see baby until she can talk. And drive.
Absofuckinglutly the fuckkkk nottt.
Honestly, in general I would say it’s pretty normal to want to bathe a grandchild- they’re cute splashing in the water and it is fun. BUT your FIL’s comment about showering WITH him is way out of line. Just because of this I wouldn’t want them to be bathing baby at all.
Do they want your baby to scream…while they are all naked?
I’m sorry that gave me a bad feeling in my chest
They are envisioning your baby screaming?
Time to read protecting the gift by Gavin debecker author of the gift of fear. His second book is all about learning to protect your kids ❤❤❤
Putting aside the ick factor, which is significant, there is a safety issue too. My kids are grown but I feel like my mom and stepdad would have been more likely to leave the baby alone to go grab something they needed mid-bath. Or drop the baby getting her out of the bath. They generally mocked me for being concerned with using carseats correctly etc., I feel like they would agree to be extra careful to get their way and then ignore all my warnings when I’m not there. No no no, too much could go wrong.
I’ve bathed my 3 yr old granddaughter since she was born because I babysit her 3-4 days a week while son and dil work. If that wasn’t the case I don’t think it would ever occur to me to ask that and what fil said is just gross.
I would listen to my gut. you know them better and if you aren’t uncomfortable, then it’s a no go.
that being said, I bathed my nieces before along with my husband or alone, when I babysat them for my sil and bil so they could have a date day/night. though it was part of their daily routine. my sil did the same for my son before and 100% trust her 🤷♀️
You have every right to feel uncomfortable and some people would have no issue with this BUT she is your child and you get to set what you are comfortable with.
When they mention it again a simple soft “oh she may be ready for that but as her mum I am not ready to give up those moments. Only people bathing baby are mum and dad”
If they push that they used to do it or dont you trust them “ it isn’t about trust it is about moments that as parents you have already experienced and as new parents we want to experience and keep for us.”
When they push again cause they will. A simple “I have said no and I won’t be drawn into conversation again about this. If we change our mind we will let you know.”
AND THEN ABSOLUTELY STAND FIRM AND DONT DISCUSS AT ALL. Just get up and walk away
Heck no, especially them being super weird about it.
After a spaghetti dinner, that baby also enjoyed, saying “want me to wash up baby since you’re doing X?” Isn’t weird. But it would be better if they offered to do the X task.
Trying to bathe baby all the time, alone? No way, never.
Ew! No!
This makes me cringe and raises lots of 🚩. No one should ever insist on alone time with your BABY. And no one should insist of bathing them, bathing with them or seeing them naked. Ick. My parents never asked, my mom would offer to wipe my daughter down with a washcloth if she was messy but bathe? No. And if she did ask it would be because baby was messy or had a blowout and NEEDED ONE. I feel this would have happened with my in laws had they not blown up our relationship. Protect your child!!
I can see why they would want to bathe baby – it’s such a cute moment, as we know. My baby splashes around with her little ducky and it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen in my whoooooole life!!!!! It’s something I’ll always remember, and they probably remember those moments with their son too.
However, I’m super cautious about my baby being left even for a second to ie grab a wash cloth. Your FIL’s comments about showering is a little odd to say the least. Do what you are comfortable with and trust your gut.
I don’t think that grandparents being interested in bathing Their new grandchild is generally weird. I think they likely would get the same enjoyment out of such a cute task as the parents would.
I would be a little bit more worried about anybody taking my slippery baby into the shower regardless of if it was my partner or their parents . Some people prefer to hang onto a baby in the shower and others prefer to put them in a little bath. I don’t think either one is wrong but one sounds riskier to me, lol as wet babies are certainly slippery.
As a grandma I have given all of my grands baths. My youngest one is 8 months old and I was watching her and we had an explosion. Not pretty but a bath was the best and actually the easiest option.
Neither my daughter or son in law had a problem. They were actually kind of glad they missed it.
I’ve (49F) bathed my granddaughter (currently 22 months old), but ONLY after my daughter gave me her permission to do so, and I did NOT ask. I was watching the baby for a few days while they were away, so the bath was necessary. Yes, it’s cute and fun to watch a baby play in the bath, and I could see why they would want to experience that, but it’s another thing to ask to do so, especially repeatedly. I would NEVER allow someone to shower while holding my baby though. That is just all kinds of unsafe. I am weirded out by a man asking to do that, but that may be my own childhood trauma talking.
If it doesn’t feel right to you then as a mother you can say no and simply just say it’s not personal but just mommy and daddy are doing bath time! Thank you!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a trusted grandparent bathing their grandchild when the child is in their care and needed it. I also don’t think it’s necessarily weird to want to bath them, it’s a cute bonding ritual. That being said, context matters. If you’re uncomfortable with it, and have a boundary that only your or your partner do it, then that is all that matters.
The joke about showering with FIL is icky though
Not over reacting.
Both my parents and in-laws like being part of the bath process. At first I found it uncomfortable because I wanted to protect my daughter and not have her on show essentially. But from their perspective, its bonding time and reminds them of their parenting days.
I started by allowing them to be in the bathroom with me or my husband. Then worked up to them doing a solo bath for my daughter.
I am going to emphasize though that I would never allow anyone other than me or my husband to be nude around my daughter. That is a personal boundary. I expect anyone else giving my daughter a bath to be outside of the tub, clothed, and acting appropriately.
I also have the boundary that my daughter doesn’t just go into the bathroom with adults for their bathroom time, or while they are getting changed into different clothes. Especially if other adults are there and able to provide care during that time. This has rocked the boat. And frankly, I don’t care. I dont need to compromise myself and my child to make others feel comfortable.
With your situation, I would feel very uncomfortable as that is strange behavior. It doesn’t make sense, and they already know it makes you uncomfortable but keep pushing it regardless. Red flags.
Edit to add: anyone who talks to you through the baby to get what they want is disrespectful and manipulative, and know exactly what they’re doing.
This is Epstein level ick. The obsession is a red flag.
Dude, that’s creepy.
My mom bathed my son with me because I asked her if she wanted to and she is the best mom and grandma in the world. I would never ask my MIL to be part of his bath because I don’t have the same level or trust (or rather none) with her.
Someone directly asking to do bath time and multiple times mentioning it would creep me out.
I don’t think giving the baby a bath is weird. It’s fun! Taking a baby in the shower is really weird and dangerous. Let them give the baby a bath while you supervise.
Um, I’m sorry but you can’t NOT mean that in an awkward way. Why on God’s green earth does your father-in-law want to go shower with your 6-month-old? Something is not right about that and you need to trust your gut!
Mo, thats ick. Total,ick. If they bring it up agIn, leave. Thats pedo crap.
Please realize that you shouldn’t excuse the weird, alarming shit your FIL said. That’s gross and inappropriate.
Ewwwwww.
As a first time mom I asked my mother in law to help me give the baby a sponge bath because my husband was away at grad school and I felt nervous doing it alone. But if she had been insisting especially along with father in law that would annoy me and it would be a no for me lol.
suuuuuper icky. NO, absolutely not, no.
My MIL saw my daughter’s first bath at the hospital. She took so many pictures. I’m so thankful. But not once did she ask to bathe my kid.
She had come a few years earlier to observe my son. He has autism. She’s a special Ed teacher who had never once encountered an actual autistic kid. She brought her best friend. Neither of them had experienced an actual autistic kid. My poor son was put into I a bubble but he weathered it well.
Y kids are very far apart. He’s 29 and she’s 15. They are supper close. He spoils her on the regular. He helped choose her name. Every time I see a post about siblings qith an age gap, I roll my eyes because these t w o are thick as thieves and have a 14 year age difference.
I personally would not let my in-laws OR my parents bathe my child especially at that age. To me, bathing a newborn baby or small baby is stressful and not fun because they’re so wobbly and now water is involved so slippery and overall it would freak me out so only me and my husband can bathe him. As he’s gotten older it would just be weird now because they don’t watch him and I’m teaching him about body autonomy and that nobody should be touching him so I don’t want to give mixed signals.
I would think it’s weird for anybody to bathe with my child that’s not myself or my husband/child’s father. Nobody else has that relationship with him. I think bathing a baby while the person is full closed is not weird just stressful. I personally try to make things fair too to avoid issues so I don’t let my parents do a bunch of stuff I don’t let my in laws do so I do keep the rules consistent. Nobody bathes my kid and we call it a day. Also in general bathrooms are 1 of the most dangerous places in a house because of the water involved and people fall or can drown so it’s not a risk I want to take with my child and then be mad at other people for something avoidable.
Giving the baby a bath, cute fun they splash baby butts are the cutest… asking about showering with a grandparent…… yuck
Eeew. Grandpa is ick
I think they might just love bath time with babies. It is super cute and joyful, but if you don’t feel comfortable allowing them to bathe her, that’s your call! Your baby, your call.
My MIL is like this, she just loves bath time and is more or less harmless. It’s the bubbles, squeals of delight from babies/little kids, etc. I’m in the same boat as you, it gives me the ick to think of anyone other than me or my husband bathing our littles regardless of their intentions.
Actually got into a fight with my MIL over her bathing and clipping my stepson’s toenails when he was 6-7 yrs old because my husband was intending to, but she took over without being asked.
No. IMO, nobody should be bathing your baby except you and their father. Nobody needs to see your child naked and vulnerable like that. It’s weird and crosses the line.
No one is bathing my kid until she can talk and tell me everything but even then I probably wouldn’t allow it
So I might be against the popular vote here but I don’t mind when my folks bath my baby. It gives me an opportunity to take a few minutes for myself. My son LOVES bathing with either one of them and sometimes does take a shower with my dad. I just don’t mind, might just be me tho. I also really trust my parents to keep my little guy safe so maybe that’s the fear. To each their own tho and if it gives you the ick maybe let them try some baby pool time where there is a swim diaper involved instead of just nakey baby. 🙂 all the best to you!
I would let my parents play with toys with baby during bath time but no, they’d never directly bathe any of my children. That’s a definite ick.
OMG, just no. Bath time is not EVER meant to be a shared experience with extended family. It’s a parental duty to their child, prior to bed.
There are loads of cute activities that grandparents can help with during the day. That should be enough.
If you were stressed out and MIL asked if you wanted help with bath time-fine. If you forgot the towel and asked MIL to help with bath so you can grab what you need-fine.
What they are doing is NOT FINE. They are asking questions and pushing way past normal boundaries. Do NOT ever leave that man alone with your child. He is giving the worst vibes from here and MIL sounds like a potential enabler.
Um… If you don’t feel comfortable with them bathing your child, why are they babysitting? If your child spits up a lot or have a blowout diaper, what would you want them to do?
No one needs to bath your baby except you and your husband.
I have no issues with my parents or in-laws bathing my kids. What I would have a problem with is if they showered or bathed with them. What your FIL is saying is weird to me
i think what’s normal varies by family and culture. if i had a kid i’d let my in-laws bathe them… if they were behaving normally about it. your in-laws are being weird, and that’s enough of a reason to say no.
My husband and I decided before our daughter was born that activities that include any kind of nudity (changing nappies, bathing, changing clothes) would only be done by anyone else besides him and I IF absolutely nessasary.
The exception to this rule was her being changed/checked by hospital staff or our doctor on occasion or by our trusted babysitter a couple of times when we weren’t home for a couple of hours and she had a blowout.
For us, bathing/changing etc isn’t to be viewed as a “bonding” activity for wider family and friends, it’s something that just my husband and I do 99% of the time to protect our child’s privacy and bodily autonomy.
Hope that helps!
My FIL has been staying with us for several weeks, he’s never once mentioned giving my kid a bath. I just had surgery last week so I can’t lift at all right now and my baby is 11 weeks, he helped me get her ready for bath, but I wash her. Sometimes he fails to check her diaper when she’s crying (he thinks she’s hungry, she’s just wet) he will bring her to me and I realize she’s wet.. I’m home 98% of the time so I don’t care that he changes her and he’s obviously not consistently even thinking about it…. He raised 2 daughters of his own. If he EVER made a comment about SHOWERING with her, I’d flip. That’s so fucking weird. I would flat out tell them no and wouldn’t leave them alone with baby.
My mom is the only person who has bathed mine and only out of necessity. My MIL, let alone both ILs, never have and neither has my dad. MIL isn’t allowed to babysit anymore for other reasons and we also refuse to vacation together anymore so I don’t anticipate the issue coming up. Unfortunately my MIL has tried to take pictures of my daughter while she’s being changed before so even though I don’t think she would do anything abusive, I don’t trust her not to take and share photos of my children in the tub and that’s reason enough for me to not allow it.
I have bathed my grandkids their whole lives but we are very close and their grandpa has never asked to bathe them I think that is kind of strange
I’ve been replying to other people, but to reply directly to you OP – NO ONE – outside of myself and husband has ever bathed MY CHILDREN. My First is 7 my youngest is 7 months.
If the opportunity ever arose, the only other person I would trust is my mom.
The only other person bathing my children other than myself or their dad is either his mom or my mom. No one else. Ever.
My hubby and I have had guardianship of the 3 year old granddaughter of a close friend for about 6 months. Obviously I bathe her all the time. My husband has never asked to bathe her and I would find it very weird if he ever had.
I think some grandparents want to role play as if that’s their baby. I find it so weird and uncomfortable that you even have to set those boundaries with them. They’re overstepping.
Please please please nip that in the bud with both of them. Especially the grandfather. What he’s saying isn’t okay at all and even if he isn’t a predator, he needs to be checked. Tell them that’s never going to happen