I’ve been seeing this girl [21F] for about six months. During that time, she told me she loved me, said I was the reason she started thinking seriously about marriage, and talked about wanting to live with me one day. We were close emotionally—daily affection, “I love you”s, kisses, hugs, everything. I genuinely thought we were building something real.
But since I [21M] traveled back to my home country a while ago, things started changing. She’s become less expressive—barely uses heart emojis anymore, seems emotionally distant, and started saying things like she’s “scared” and unsure about the future. She now avoids calling me her boyfriend, and recently even said we’re “just really good friends.”
What really hurt was something that happened yesterday. At night, I sent her a long, heartfelt message telling her how lucky I am to have her and how much I love her—hoping she’d wake up smiling. But the next morning, all she replied was:
“Oh thank you so much, that’s so kind of you.”
That was it. No “I love you too,” no warmth. Just… a polite thank-you. It honestly made me question everything. Like really? That’s it? Is that what I am now—just a “kind friend”?
I’ve been thinking about telling her that I’m serious about wanting to marry her one day, but with how she’s been acting lately, I’m scared it’ll just push her further away or make things awkward.
How should I approach this situation? Has anyone been through something similar?
How do I bring up my feelings honestly without sounding desperate—but still standing up for what I want?
TL;DR:
My partner [21F] and I [21M] were very close—she used to say she loved me, talked about marriage, and we were emotionally intimate. But ever since I went back to my home country, she’s grown distant and now calls me “just a friend.” After I sent her a loving message, she only replied with a polite thank-you. I’m hurt and confused. I still love her and want a future with her, but I don’t know how to talk to her about it without making things worse.