for background my family is mexican and they like gossiping and talking shit a lot (i guess that is mexican culture for you). recently me and my gf have temporarily moved into my grandmas house. my mom, younger brother, and uncle live there (my other family visits everyday). ever since we moved here they have been talking shit behind my gfs back when she’s only been nice. there’s other stuff they say about her behind her back but the weight seems to be a common one. all of the woman in my family are pretty overweight (all like 5ft and 160-180lbs). i know this because they keep track of all their weights on a piece of paper they put on the fridge every month. they like to make sex jokes about me and my gf which i find weird but i just laugh it off. they were talking about my gf to me mentioning how she has no boobs and said they thought i had taste (insinuating my gf has no boobs bc she’s skinny which isn’t true) i said that they wouldn’t even know if she did because she only wears baggy shirts around them. they said they could still tell through her shirt. i didn’t know what to say so i just stayed quiet. i always clam up in situations where i wanna say something but i feel like i cant. then they proceeded to comment on her butt saying she doesn’t have one. my gf has never worn anything tight or revealing around them she only like to wear baggy shirts and sweatpants. they know she’s skinny but don’t know what her “body looks like”. they’re just saying stuff because she is skinnier than them. i’m assuming they’re jealous or something considering they keep track of their weight but i don’t like the way they talk about my gf. i feel bad because there’s other stuff they talk about her behind her back but i wont get into that. my gf has been insecure about her weight for her whole life (genetically skinny and was underweight until 12th grade). she was bullied for it and just started to like her body in the past few years. anyone have any insight or advice?
tldr; my family makes jokes about my gfs weight because she is skinny. they are all overweight and keep track of their weight every month. i’m not sure if they’re just jealous and i don’t know what to do because it makes me upset and my gf upset. i struggle with confrontation and need any advice.
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my gf is skinnier
Yea 100% you need to tell them to stop that shit.
If they refuse, try and show them how it would feel if she was commenting on their bodies. Obviously don’t fat shame them but use their own insults to show how bad it would be the other way around. Like the ‘she has no butt bc she’s so skinny’ could also go the way of ‘she has way too big of a butt bc she’s so fat’. Again don’t just say that out right but say it in a way that they might understand why it’s harmful and can hurt someone.
If they rlly don’t understand the issue, I’d recommend moving out asap. Ik u said it’s temporary but whatever you can do to make the stay shorter, do it
I mean the way to win this is not to say ohhhh im hurt girlfriend is upset, cause they want that.
They are JEALOUS so here is what you do.
‘Oh your girlfriend has no boobs’ in love very genuine mode yeah she is blessed with such a gorgeous slim figure don’t know how I got to lucky. 😊
At this point they’ll probably lash out now cause that will trigger them and get under their skin and say something extra vicious/ negative.
At which point you look at them, raise your eyebrows, pause and laugh say you can’t believe you’re so jealous. Each time they say something after that just laugh as if you can’t believe it and comment on how they have the green eyed monster, your greener side playing up again Mary? chuckle.
Formula: genuine compliment, call them jealous, laugh and make jokes about jealously to any escalations.
IMO this will curtail this behaviour far more effectively than anything else.
Yeah they’re super insecure i would put them on blast and make them feel weird about talking about someone elses body like that. Shame them. Tell them its weird to talk about her body. Because it is. Perhaps the good ol fashioned “how would you feel if anyone made fun of your bodies?” sometimes just making people uncomfortable about a topic is enough to make them stop. I hope you’re gf hasn’t heard them saying these things.
I’m sorry you’re having to hear your family talk about your GF. I’m sure she’s beautiful, we all can’t be thin and gorgeous. Have her dress super sexy like , and be sassy about it. The next time they say something, tell them if you don’t have anything nice to say , zip it! Look in the mirror , I’m 5 “ tall and I’m chubby, I’m Latina, when I see somebody I haven’t seen in a while , I’ll say something like “ what’s happening, I’m still chubby but beautiful “
Like your boo, she should say something like , hey what’s happening I’m thin and beautiful what’s up !
But you should definitely move out! Sending hugs and ✌🏽.
Grow a spine.
Sounds like they’re unhappy with themselves based on your description and they’re trying to make themselves feel better by talking poorly about her. Shit it down NOW. If you don’t stand up for her than who will? She clearly can’t since she doesn’t know.
Honestly, when they say something just say “I’m sorry what did you say? I’m not sure I heard that right?” In the most serious manner, And they will either feel uncomfortable that they have to repeat it, or they will repeat it and you can just respond with “yikes, I can’t believe you just said that out loud”