How to make my (28F) gf understand I (29M) need time to decompress and process?

r/

I work night shift as a nurse; a few weeks ago I worked 2 days in a row with one day off in after those (which we spent together) then I went back to work 3-12 hour shifts in a row and on the fourth day (my day off) I just slept from 8AM-8PM. I could have slept longer if needed but my gf called me to wake me up which I did not appreciate unless it was an emergency, I had explained to her prior to getting into the relationship that my job is stressful and I do need days of silence and just…nothingness. How could I get it across to my partner that I need space and time to decompress from being pulled in a million directions? I feel like I have had this conversation with her many times.

Comments

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  2. Business_Mastodon_97 Avatar

    So in a 7-day period you saw your GF once and got upset when she called you. Is she supposed to just be available when you want to see her? You are in a relationship. It goes both ways, it’s not just about you. If you aren’t willing to put in the effort then don’t be in a relationship.

  3. VivianDiane Avatar

    I feel you. Maybe try: ‘I love spending time with you, but my job drains me. When I sleep or zone out, it’s not personal—I just need that to function. Can we agree to let me recharge unless it’s urgent?’ If she keeps ignoring that, it’s a bigger convo about respect.

  4. Rdotwalkemdown Avatar

    I think its just a tough situation in general because sometimes people get into things they dont understand even if they have been explained to them, i understand what you are saying but coming at this as a random person on the internet i think your best bet would be to maybe talk about what each of you need from eachother which for her she may need more attention or quality time with you and you might not need that from her everybody is different and has their own ways of feeling/showing love, worst case scenario you cant work anything out, sometimes people are just too busy for other people, theres friends i dont have anymore because i work so much and have other things going on and theyre the type of people that need to see me on a consistent basis to be my friend so it just doesnt really work but either way goodluck and i hope this helped