For context: I‘ve played games on my first PlayStation since I was 15 years old and he knows. I’ve bought my PS5 two years ago and own some games.
Since we started dating (1 and a half years ago), he always insists of playing all new games that I buy „together“, which means switching the controller, so one person plays, the other watches.
Recently I bought Uncharted The lost Legacy and again he wanted to play together, which started to annoy me some time ago, but now i just can’t do it anymore.
As soon as i start playing (obviously having the controller in my hands) he can’t stop telling me what to do and constantly goes: „press X, press O, go there, go left, go right, press X…..“ NONSTOP like I’m doing this the first time in my life or like I don’t have hands, eyes or a brain myself. Also I’ve had to turn subtitles on, because everytime there is a dialogue between the characters (which is obviously important and exciting for the story continuing) he talks over them.
I‘ve already told him that this is so annoying and just kills the mood of the game for me, then he told me that he just gets too much into the game and too excited, so that’s why he was doing it, but he’s trying to change.
But honestly.. I’m just tired of this.. I wanna play my games in peace, without someone constantly telling me what do to and talking during dialogues, so I‘m pressured to read subtitles, while I’m playing. What would you guys do?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Okay so start playing your games without him. It’s your playstation and your game so he has no right to demand you do it together. He’s a horrible backseater. It happens. You can find a different activity to do together and just play games separately. Or you can enjoy a game on your own first and then watch him play so you still have the “together” experience but you already know the story so it’s okay if he talks over it.
Tell him if he can’t shut up he has to leave. Why are you babysitting his emotions when the bad behavior is his?
Break up, he dont deserve you
I would have a serious conversation about how badly this is aggravating you. Point blank tell him he needs to change, and if he can’t, he needs to leave you alone when you play. If he doesn’t or can’t change, then you have to weigh the pros and cons and decide if this is something worth enduring.
Damn he’s 29 and still acts like that? You sure know how to pick ‘em.
Does he have ADHD? My partner does, and one of the things they struggle with is impulse control. His response to your complaints by saying that he just gets really into it sounds almost exactly like when I was getting upset by my partner interrupting me. To them, they were excited and contributing to the conversation, and when I asked them to stop interrupting, they felt shut down.
Talk with him about it. Explain how it makes you feel when he backseat games. Talk about WHY it ruins the experience for you. And then every single time he passes you the controller, remind him. No backseat gaming, or you’re not going to play, because it’s not fun for you that way.
Sometimes communication means having to say more than “I don’t like this”.