I made a post a month ago about me and my girlfriend on holiday. Really struggling with how she was treating me. She is diagnosed with autism, adhd, anxiety, anorexia, and depression. On holiday she just kept lashing out at me for things. Like if I was back 1 minute late, or stood up too slow type of thing. And would just be mean to me. I thought that’s fine as it’s just on holiday. However. It hasn’t really stopped since we got back
Last night she went out with a female friend that I know as well just for fun. Then when she got back she just sat in her car for an hour and a half and never told me. I was busy cleaning and feeding the cats so never noticed. But she came in eventually and said I really need to break up with her because of how she treats me, how rude she can be, how she doesn’t like my parents, how I absolutely love traveling and want to do it more than anything but she can’t cope being away for more than a few days before she starts breaking down.
In the end she broke up with me and we cried for an hour together. And she asked when I want her to move out which I don’t really want because I love her
I’m just wondering what people would advise doing. My girlfriend wants to have another chat about things when I get back from work.
Is this normal? What do people make of the situation? Do I try and make this work out?
Comments
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Unless you’re qualified to treat her it might be best to leave her. Not that hearing anything like this helps but she’s going through a lot and she needs to figure that out.
Tell her to get therapy, she needs help and she needs to want it which is far beyond what you can offer her.
I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain due to the breakup. I recommend accepting it and to stop living together as soon as you can, cause else everything gets emotionally even messier and the reality of the breakup can’t set in, which keeps both of you in a limbo of pain.
I know losing her hurt a lot. But it sounds like she made the right choice out of respect for you. She realized she has limitations and needs that would negatively affect you in life, as an example during the traveling. She also brought up other very logical points. I agree with hug er, that this choice ultimately is best for both of you. Not every relationship is a forever one, even if that’s very sad. That she leaves you now instead of mistreating and hurting you or dragging it out, is a loving gesture. Sometimes you love someone, but that’s not enough to be in a healthy relationship. Let go. It will hurt for a whole, bit it will also get better again 🙂