I’m 26 and my best friend Nicole is getting married next month. I’ve been helping her with wedding stuff for almost a year. Dress shopping, invites, late night emotional support during her mom’s health scare, all of it. I figured I’d be part of the wedding party but she never officially asked. I didn’t push it because I didn’t want to seem entitled.
Last weekend was her bachelorette trip in Miami. When I got there, one of the bridesmaids handed me a sash that said “Honorary Backup Bridesmaid” and everyone laughed. Nicole said it was just a joke because I “basically acted like one anyway.” The rest of the weekend they kept calling me the assistant, making comments like “Oh our unpaid intern is here” and I ended up sleeping on the pull-out couch while everyone else had rooms.
At first I tried to laugh it off but by the second night I felt like a joke. I’d spent so much time and money trying to be there for her, and it felt like they were all in on some joke at my expense. I quietly booked a flight home and left before anyone else woke up.
Now Nicole’s pissed. She says I ruined the weekend and made it all about me. Some of our mutual friends think I overreacted and should have just gone along with it. Others told me I was right to leave.
So am I the asshole for walking out?
Comments
Being treated as “less than” is always a reason to walk away.
NTA. She is not your friend.
NTA in my mind. If you didn’t feel welcomed, why stay there just to be the joke of the group.
no way this is real bc why would you show up and staying seeing how they treated you after a few hours? AND you’re the only one without a room?
No way I would’ve tolerated that for a few hours let alone an entire weekend. She used you and it was obvious bc no way she asked everyone else and not you on accident. If you have anything for her wedding I wouldn’t give her any of it. Learn to respect yourself.
NTA…for leaving the weekend when they made it all about you and not actually about the bride.
But, did you have no idea that you were doing all of this for the bride without being asked to be a bridesmaid? and you say this is your best friend? Apparently she does not feel the same. To not only treat you this way, but to let others make a joke about you after all you had done for her?
Who planned the Miami trip?
At this venture, I would be done with Nicole. No more help. No more support of any kind. She gets what she gives. And she is lucky if you even attend this wedding or get her a gift. Or even talk to her any longer.
Ask Nicole exactly how “you” made the weekend all about you? It seems that her friends and she, herself did that. They are the ones that as soon as you arrived, gave you a sash. They are the ones who joked about you all weekend. Calling you names. Gave you the pull out couch. Were you just there for entertainment purposes for them? You would think that since you left early, they would have had a better weekend with the way they treated you. Or was that the sole purpose of their weekend? To belittle you? Was that her idea of a way to celebrate her bachelorette? Put the onus back on her to try and explain. Which she will not be able to.
Is she your best friend or are you her best friend? Bc this isn’t how a bestie treats their bestie…something is very one-sided here. Time to re-evaluate who your friends really are because these people sound like TAs.
NTA. They treated you like crap, you had every right to walk away. If they aren’t happy about how things turned out, they need to take a look at their role.
NTA. A true friend doesn’t publicly humiliate you, especially after you’ve been so supportive. Don’t stay in a situation where you’re being disrespected and made to feel like a joke.
NTA. That wasn’t a prank. It was bullying. You don’t owe her an apology for refusing to be the punchline.
Why didn’t you just go along with being a punching bag? NTA
I’m sorry you were treated that way by a so called friend. You were used and mistreated.
I would block Nicole’s number and chalk that up to a lesson learned.
You deserve so much better than the way you were treated. Use the money you planned to spend on bridesmaids attire and a wedding gift and treat yourself to a weekend away on the wedding date.
You will grow from this experience and go on to form healthier relationships. My best to you OP! ❤️
Nta. you deserve better people in your life.
Updateme
Nta and i would drop them all. And make it public why. They are toxic as shit.
NTA-you thought you had a friendship and were being a good friend, Nicole obviously had a different opinion about your relationship.
Nicole is an asshole for treating you like this. She is even more of an asshole for actually coming up with a plan before hand to treat you like shit. A sash that says Honorary Backup Bridesmaid isn’t something that is easy to come by. If all the other friends are making comments about you being an unpaid assistant that means Nicole has been talking shit about you to them.
You absolutely did the right thing by leaving. You didn’t ruin the weekend. Nicole ruined her own weekend by being an asshole and not appreciating how much of your time and effort you gave her.
That wasn’t a joke or a prank.
If you actually talk to her and she tries to claim it was such ask, “What part of that was supposed to be funny for me? Why did you feel entitled to make me feel uncomfortable and excluded?”
Then sit there in silence until it starts to feel uncomfortable for her.
She isn’t your friend, hon.
The fact Nicole didn’t defend you when you get bullied by her bridesmaids says a lot about her friendship with you. You think she’s best friend, she think you’re a joke.
NTA because if it truly were a joke and in good heart, her reaction would have been very different. Her saying you ruined the weekend is RICH, she sounds like a horrid friend with a big ego. Cut your losses and move on honestly you sound WAY too good of a friend and companion to waste energy on horrible people
They sound like the girls from the Mean Girls movie. Being nice to your face and nasty behind your back. Real friends don’t make you feel like rubbish. The only thing you ruined was their opportunity to make fun of you. NTA It sounds like you left with dignity. Cut these type of people from your life.
NTA. The only thing you did wrong was not leaving earlier. These are not friends, they are mean girls. Best to leave them to it.
Nta. She is not your friend anymore and does not deserve anymore of your time and energy. Tell her the back up bridesmaid wont be missed.
Mean girls are real. Make new friends. Leave this group, or those who do not respect you.
NTA. I would not attend the wedding.
NTA but it is time to inform bridezilla & her gorgons that you left a few hidden traps scattered amongst everything you handled for the wedding, just in case, & you’re going to enjoy hearing afterwards how it screwed up the “big day”. Best they re-do it all if they want to avoid them. Then cut them all off completely.
You’re a brave box, good for you.
NTA. NTA. NTA.
Leaving was absolutely the right move.
I hope you blocked everyone.
Please don’t attend the wedding, either.
You owe her/her shitty ass friends nothing.
I’m sorry you were taken advantage of. 🙁
She is NOT your “best friend”.
NTA – they are not your friends. Know your worth. I respect your decision to leave early. They sound like spoiled brats mocking you when you helped your friend with wedding stuff but you’re not important enough to be bridesmaid. I would go low contact and not attend the wedding.
You were bullied. I think your friendship just ended, and I feel sorrow for you. Find a healthy way to heal, but leave this friend group completely.
Nicole may be your best friend but you are not hers. It sounds like she’s happy to use you, though. The fact that you’ve done so much and that she not only lets her bridesmaids treat you this way but that she actually joins in? And that’s not some side joke….they planned this all out. I mean, it’s not like someone has random sashes lying around.
So now you know what Nicole says behind your back and how little she values your friendship. Time to cut all ties and find people that are more genuine and relationships that are more reciprocal. No need to spend any more time on this wedding. I hope you’re not planning on attending, either. If you show up to that wedding, you’ll be sweeping floors and clearing dishes in no time!
She’s not funny,band neither are any of the “jokes”. You did the right thing. She used you and then treated you cruelly. None of them ate your friends. Move on with your life. Spend your time & money on you!
NTA, but everyone else in this is. It would have been less insulting if they’d given you a sash that said “troubleshooter.” Given how much work you’ve put into the wedding so far, some recognition for it, rather than treating you like the “peasant” (at the very least, you should’ve had a bed to yourself) They started this, they caused it.
You teach people how to treat you. It’s time to teach her something new…NTA.
Are you sure she’s your best friend? Because you’re not to her.
NTA
They made it about you, there fun at your expense, too bad you didn’t speak out, why was I included if everyone gets a room and I get a couch does that sound enjoyable, why was I singled out to clown as honorary, i was fine just to participate without you throwing it in my face that I’m not a part of the wedding party. I didn’t ask I didn’t complain but your sure made it fact to show your ass that I’m not. Love you but dick move
So you just realized that not one of these friends care about you? Sorry. Sounds like a huge expensive mistake. And their all mad at you? Because they feel guilty? Why were you the only one without a room? Why did you let them mock you all this time? Is this the first wedding amongst your (ex)friends?
EDIT: What happens going forward? How far is Miami to home? Do you work with any of these witches? Are you blocking them all and going No Contact from now on?
NTA. I would have left sooner tbh. These girls are not your friends.
NTA
I think they are the ones who “made it about you”. You’ve been a good friend to a woman that can’t appreciate it and thinks nothing of deliberately humiliating you for a stupid ‘joke’… repeatedly.
Leaving was an option your friend never considered you would choose; you are not her friend, she is your friend and those are very different things.
Your friend is a dirtbag
NTA I would stop being there for her and not spend any more money I would also be rethinking going to the wedding has well.
NTA. You actually left without making it “all about you”. Not being picked as a bridesmaid can be difficult, but IMO it’s usually a blessing. However, it’s one thing to not be chosen and another thing entirely to be mocked. She showed you how she actually feels… and unfortunately it sounds like she was using you and the friendship was one-sided. Make some fun plans for her wedding day and make it “all about you”. (and try to move on and let her toxicity go).
Why would someone would want to be treated like a second class citizen. Nicole and her real bridesmaids can go fuck themselves. Do not go to the wedding and block her
NTA. Nicole is classless and tacky and so are her friends. We dont treat people we care for like they are less than. use any money you’d use for a gift for treating yourself.
You are not best friends.
NTA. Your mutual friends who thought you should have gone along with it are welcome to be her next object of ridicule. Good riddance I say.
Nta she sounds like a frenemy. You were right to leave but also, don’t let it be for nothing. Write her a carefully thought out letter telling her exactly how her/their behavior made you feel. Include all the stuff you said in this post
Nope. They treated you that way on purpose. The fact they had a sash made shows this was not something that went too far. It was calculated. Friend? I don’t think so.
If their initial reaction was to be pissed that you left because of how it affects them, and not concerned about having hurt your feelings, then these are not very good friends!
Funny that they accuse you of making it about yourself, but they made it about themselves by not treating you decently and getting angry that you had the audacity to be hurt by it.
Relationships are supposed to go both ways. From the sounds of it you were the only one giving and getting nothing back except disrespect. Better off without a friend like that.
NTA – they’re mad their little joke finally got a backbone and left. Those aren’t your friends.
Go to the wedding and hand her a sash that says first wife. NTA
It’s not a joke unless everyone laughs. They were bullying you. Grieve your friendship but block all and move on. Let those laughing hoes help Nicole with everything else in her life. Wash your hands sweetie. I’m sorry you endured that but at least you learned and saw the reality of this “friendship” before dishing out more of yourself and finances for an ungrateful, mean bitch.
>made it all about me
The sash, the comments, all of it was them making it about you. The sash had to be ordered several days to a week+ in advance. All of it was planned.
They decided to act like aholes and treat you like trash and you were absolutely right to walk away from it all.
NTA
She went directly to accuse you of ruining the weekend instead of doing some self reflection, if this breaks the friendship, it doesn’t seem like you will lose that much.
Eternal high school bullies are so annoying.
NTA.
You are her friend she is not yours. She treated you like a joke you didn’t allow it, good for you. Let her be mad, and don’t waste any more time or money on this foul friend.
She is not your friend none of these people are. Block and move on
Nta. Stay gone. These are not friends, they’re AH’s.
Now you know why you weren’t picked. You are the unpaid intern. Make your choices accordingly. I would rethink this friendship. All the time and money you spent could have been used on a nice vacation for yourself. This was an important lesson to learn. If your friend is not regretful, I would not attend the wedding. It tells you what she thinks you deserve.
NTA. You did the right thing.
These people don’t value you. That “joke”, if it was ever funny, was only so for about a minute. After the initial laugh everyone should have moved on.
Frankly, I’m surprised you stayed the night. If I were there and I was on a pullout couch while everyone else had a room, I’d have buggered off then and there.
You’re better off. Don’t give it a second thought.
Nta you aren’t her friend, you’re her punching bag. I hope you skip her wedding and have a nice long weekend doing something fun
I’m sorry that happened to you. Absolutely NTA. as much as it sucks, I would block her and move forward with your life.
Ugh, your friend and the rest of the group sound horrible. They are not behaving n
NTA
They all treated you poorly.
Why the hell are you referring to her as your best friend? She doesn’t even like you much less have any respect for you.
Girl…. I would have tossed the sach and left then!!!
NTA – that was serious mean girl behaviour, and I’m glad you stood up for yourself.
NTA block and delete. Don’t even attend the wedding. She encouraged people to bully and belittle you, not the actions of a friend. She sees you as inferior, not an equal
When people show you who they are and how they treat you believe them
She’s not a decent friend or at least she’s a get what she can out of you friend
NTA
I guarantee you there is a group chat with all those harpies talking mad shit about you for months. NTA. Find new friends that actually like you.
Please do not go to the wedding, please cut them off entirely, all of them, including Nicole. They conspired in advance to make you the butt of their jokes including acquiring the sash. They planned who would sleep where, and relegated you to the couch. They made it OK to make snarky comments and treat you in micro aggressive ways. They are still talking about you now and badmouthing you now so if you show up to the wedding it will be more of the same. Get your money back on anything you paid for, plan a fabulous weekend getaway for when the wedding is and post glamorous pictures of yourself all over social media so that they can see you are not sitting at home thinking about them. But please please please please please do not go anywhere near that wedding or that group of toxic v****es.
Cool story ChatGPT
She isn’t your best friend. Or your friend at all.
I hate it when people take a joke too far and won’t own up to it.
From Nicole’s reaction to lash out rather than to apologize for bitchy behavior, this likely wasn’t the case, but it’s possible they had imagined that it’d come across as an acknowledgement of the support you’ve given as someone who isn’t in the wedding party, and their implementation was just shitty.
You were not wrong to walk away and in no way the asshole. You left quietly and didn’t make a scene. I think after you left some of the remaining girls realized they went to far and an argument of some kind started about you leaving. Hence, Nicole claiming you made the weekend all about you when in fact the jokes were foisted onto you without your consent. She was likely looking for someone to blame rather than acknowledging that she caused this problem.
She is obviously not as invested in the friendship as you are.
NTA.
After dozens of friends marriages, and asking for help with the bridal party stuff, I’ve learned to say thanks but no, that’s what your bridal party is for, if I hadn’t already gotten a proper invite. So next time anyone asks for your help, tell them you will, by cheering from the sidelines, since that where you are.
But these Aholes aren’t your friends. They don’t see you, they are how you are useful.
nta. ghost everybody
Don’t be ashamed for taking a stand for yourself
Literally the only thing any of that accomplished was belittling you. Nothing about that was funny, the outcome was only ever going to be you feeling bad. So, why do it?
NTA. She’s not your best friend, or at least you aren’t hers. At least you finally know where you stand. Stop helping with anything. I’d not attend the wedding honestly and would cut her off if she didn’t publicly apologize.
NTA. They were brutal to you. Why would you stay and take that crap from them. They are mean girls with the bride to be as the leader. Get new friends
Nicole is not your friend. Block and move on
You should have asked the other girls what they did to help the bride!!! Nothing probably, you had every right to be mad. All this over board wedding stuff is so unnecessary
You were a fucking saint to stay on a pull out. They were belittling you the entire time. Nicole is not a good friend and she fucking knows it.
NTA, you handled it with more class than she deserved. That was horrible of all of them.
NTA – Were you even invited? Seems like they had planned the whole trip without you and then last minute added a pullout for you.
Don’t be a bridesmaid without actually having been asked to be a bridesmaid. Her not asking you to be one should have been all the information you needed.
NTA, you didn’t ruin anything. Her and her nasty friends did. She should have shut it down starting with the sash. She is not the friend you think she is.
NTA and I would be done with friend and her wedding. The minute I was given honorary back up bridesmaid sign would have been my exit sign. I would have quietly pulled Nicole away explain yourself am I a bridesmaid or not. If not then I am not member of this party and I am not staff. Goodbye.
You were a joke to this group behind the scenes, what grunt job can we assign her next that we don’t want to do.
NTA— That’s not a best friend.
Not sure why you kept thinking you were in the wedding. It’s 4 weeks out and common sense would know that you would have been asked either everyone else.
It seems you see her as a best friend and she just sees you as someone you use and you allow it. If you were truly her best friend then you would have been in the wedding.
Take this expensive lesson and find real friends
NTA. They deliberately humiliated you and made you the laughing stock. Block and be done with Nicole and all of them. You deserve better friends.
As a man, I find it odd to expect to be in the wedding party while helping with wedding prep. Not the first post recently where I saw this and I still don’t get it. The weddings I was involved with the party was well established before dress shopping and obviously before the bachelor/ette parties even began planning.
How can she be your “best friend” and you travel to the bachelorette party and not over the course of a year know if you’re a bridesmaid? That is something that if I was in your position would have been clear a year ago.
You didn’t make it all about you.. your “friend” did by making you the joke.
Time to send her a bill for all your unpaid help. Title it wedding planner. When she responds just say your matching energy.
Honey, if you want them, here some hugs from an Internet stranger. What they did to you is absolutely horrible. And you showed nothing but class by dipping out unceremoniously. You did what you needed to do for you, and you did not ruin anything. These horrible mean girls, apparently led by your “friend“ simply had consequences to their chosen actions.
I think you noted in one reply that you have been feeling this is one-sided for a while. I’m sorry that you got the confirmation in the way that you did, but now you know.
Unfortunately it’s not unusual for friendships to change as we get older. But honestly, it sounds like you have matured quite well, and they have not.
You have done nothing wrong, and should anyone suggest otherwise,simply say that you were being bullied, and that you’re not going to allow that to happen to yourself.
It’s good that you walked away, keep walking.
Some people can’t be taught how they should treat people. Leave them behind every single time.
The only reason she feels you ruined the weekend was because she knew she was being crappy. And you leaving and going home forced her to feel that way and she didn’t like it. They’re just trying to make you feel bad for their bad behavior and feeling guilty over it
Send her a wedding gift off the registry, and be done with her. It will be your final closure. She will miss you when she’s done with her tantrum, and it will be too late.
FAKE
“If you love me, let me know; if you don’t, then let me go.” The 1970’s are calling, and they think your friend is the joke here. Unfriend her.
They are the ones who made it all about you. All you did was nope out of tolerating their bullying.
Unfortunately, you now know where you stand — you are an exploitable, resource and not a friend.
NTA.
I was an alternate for a little league tournament team. It sucked. I practiced everyday and couldn’t even go on the dugout at our one and done game. NTA
I would leave as well , they are crappy friends
NTA. None of these people are your friends, they are just placeholders and a bunch of asshats. Stay strong.
Nta. Just make sure you leave the whole “friendship” with her. She is not a friend. She is an abuser. And anybody who joined in too. No drama. Just block and ignore. Grey rock them.
Your ‘friend’ Nicole fucked around for long enough – now she is finding out the consequences of treating a genuine friend like a doormat and her other ‘friends’ are welcome to her!!! She might be pissed but you don’t treat friends like that.
I’d back out of the wedding completely. Don’t go. I hope you haven’t given her a gift yet because if she comes looking for one, I’d tell her that her gift is the time and effort and money I’ve spent on her up to now. Non-refundable!
Lastly, if you have the time or the effort, I’d get her a sash of her own that said “Total Diva” or “Bridezilla” or simply “I’m not a nice person”. Also there isn’t any way that you made the weekend ‘all about you’ unless she didn’t stop talking about how you left early and why.
Who are these “others” that think you overreacted here?
NTA
What passes as humor these days is just cruelty. Sounds like you need to have a “Come to Jesus” talk with Nicole about your relationship to her. She does not strike me as the grateful type.
NTA and quoting u/DustOne7437 for emphasis
>Being treated as “less than” is always a reason to walk away.
There is a huge difference between joking WITH someone and joking ABOUT someone. You were placed at the center as the butt of people’s jokes – what a backwards way to express ‘gratitude’ for all of your help.
Question – what were the assumed / expressed sleeping arrangements? Did you expect a bed or just not know? Not that it matters much, just interested in how deep their shittiness runs.
A small comment based on what you have done that made it look like you’re a back up. Sure.
A whole weekend of harassment and jokes?
Fuck her and her friends.
You were right to leave.
This is their game- treat people like shit and then act like they’re just jealous assholes when they react like any human being would.
Fuck these people. They were never your friends. snip
You ruined the weekend by making them realize what shifty human beings they are. You put the mirror in their face and instead of apologizing they doubled down and blamed you for their shifty behavior. NTA
NTA. What nasty, vile people they are. Block and move on, with higher standards.
NTA. They’re a bunch of ‘mean girls’ and treated you terribly. I hope you rethink your friendship with your ‘best friend’ the bride, too. This isn’t how I’d treat someone I hated, tbh.
You should point out to her and the rest of them that you didn’t actually make it about yourself, they did by treating you the way they did and that they are the reason you left. They’re salty bc they had to spend the rest of the time having to do things for themselves rather than the ‘unpaid intern’ and use that term specifically. Tell them they caused the your actions and it was direct consequences to their trashy behavior. Then see yourself out of their lives
Good grief! This is a sour joke. The only thing that makes sense was to leave. Being so terrible to a highly supportive friend makes me think that her marriage will be tough.
NTA-them bitches are not your friends! They were all using because their lazy ass can’t do shit for themselves. Don’t even go to the wedding. And for the people who says your overreacting, drop them too.
Ask Nicole why you ruined the weekend, “I’m sorry that I was there to serve everyone hand and foot. Cinderella had to go home and look after a few things”
Ruined their weekend = no punching bag for them to have fun bullying for the weekend.
NTA But realize she isn’t your best friend or even a friend. No friend would allow others to treat their friend like that.
NTA. You have a right to be respected by your “friends.” The women you were hanging out with aren’t it. You are a joke to them, and you did the right thing leaving. I’m sorry you’re being disrespected like this. These people aren’t your friends.
How did you make it about yourself? They kept making you the center of attention with their jokes and clearly kept focusing on you after you left. You didn’t make it about you at all, they did. If they ruined the weekend as a result of their actions that’s on them
NTA. They were being mean, deliberately excluding you, and expected you to go along with it. She doesn’t sound like much of a “best friend” if she thought that was funny. Frankly, you dealt with it in the most dignified way possible by simply refusing to be exploited and mocked like that.
She’s not your friend. Hard lesson but if she was, she wouldn’t treat you like this. Better off without her.
Nta
Personally i would’ve gone at the wedding and tell the biggest gossip guest that she slept with a guy in miami at the bachelorette trip.
NTA.
Block her and her little friends too, and needless to say, don’t go to her wedding. She was obviously using you.
I hope you can get back any money you spent from her. If not, go directly to the groom and her mother and tell them everything she did.
Maybe go to them directly anyway. Tell them both that you are sorry that you won’t be attending the wedding, and tell them why. Tell them all the things you did for her despite not being a bridesmaid, and how they so treated you at the bachelorette. They should both be horrified.
NTA. Those bratty teenage girls are not your friend. Cut out the toxic relationships.
NTA. I’ll never understand the attempt at logic that claims that removing yourself from a situation is “making it about yourself.” To me it’s the exact opposite. They abused you the entire time, and the sleeping arrangements were salt in the wound. She WAS your best friend, right? Show her this thread. UpdateMe.
“No, Nicole, after all the support and effort i’ve given, you made your bachelorette weekend about belittling me. I don’t understand how you could be so cruel and ungrateful. Your other friends are not good people. Good luck with them.” She is clearly not your best friend. She’s moved on, I guess, and maybe you should, too? NTA
She is not your best friend. The least I would have done is leave. Block her.
Nta
NTA. She may be your best friend, but I’m sorry, you are not hers. I hope you find someone who truly values your kindness and friendship. Try not to mourn this one too much, I’m betting she won’t!
Nicole is not your friend. NTA
Absolutely NTA. Do they need a punching bag to have a good time? What a bunch of awful people.
NTA.
Those people aren’t your friends.
I would be cancelling anything you already paid for and let her know she needs to tell her actual wedding party to pay up. Then block her.
nta
She is not your best friend
You were right for leaving. They bullied you and it sounds like they only invited you to be their punching bag.
That’s not cool. When you are able to gather your thoughts and calmly express them, you might send her some flowers or a box of cookies and put a note in it just saying you’re sorry the weekend went that way but that you can’t be that person for them. When the need for you to stop being that person finally comes, she can call you. But until then you need some space. It’s not fun being weird kid in elementary school….. it’s not fun when grown ass women make adult life feel like elementary school.
Take care of yourself. This sounds like it was a big beating. I would have cried. I can’t believe you lasted that long. Lots of love to you.
No you are not. Get a new friend
Great! Let her have her Bridezilla moment! Seems to be the requirement these days…..YOU don’t have to be the butt of the joke. Don’t know if I would have a friend like that.
NTA. And she’s not your best friend. I’m sorry.
NTA. That is absolutely heartbreaking and scummy and clearly your best friend is not your best friend.
NTA. Except this surely can’t have been out iof the blue? They didn’t become a bunch of bullying mean girls overnight. Granted this was maybe concentrated but they just sound toxic.
Oh fuck no. You did the right thing fuck them and her.
NTA – I hate those allegedly “pranks”. They are just a sad excuse for bullying someone and trying to get away with it declaring it as “prank” and then blaming the victim when it backfires. The fact that they did not stop at the “Honorary Backup Bridesmaid” but kept it going throughout the weekend tells you: it was no prank!
You did the right thing to leave and you should re-evaluate your status within that group, since apparently you consider the bride your best friend, but she does not consider you as such.
She isn’t your best friend. It’s time to cut ties with that group and move on to people who will love and respect you, as you deserve. NTA.
a bunch of so called “friends” making you the butt of their jokes? Welp, women are now officially acting like the jackasses men always were. You did good, standing up for yourself. You are worth more than this behavior, and you gotta value yourself because these “friends” sure don’t.
Good job!
Send her an invoice for all the time and money you’ve spent on her wedding – then tell her it’s “just a joke”.
NTA. Your friends are a bunch of bullies.
It’s sad that some people grow old but they don’t grow up.
NTA- You might see the bride as your best friend, but that’s not how she sees you. What she did was cruel, she’s the AH.
No. She is the asshole. And the fact that none of the other girls stood up for you makes them assholes. The bride is just pissed that you held up a mirror to her behavior. Don’t go to this wedding and find a different group of friends.
I think you are wrong. Your “best friend” certainly isn’t. In fact, she doesn’t sound like a friend at all. Likewise, your mutual friends who allowed you to be treated so disparagingly.
Honey you let this go on for too long. You should have read the room and known this girl is using you. You didn’t make this trip about you they made it about you being their flunkey. Now that you know who you are to her wish her well and drop the rope. If she had wanted you to be a brides maid you would have been one all along.
You’re NTA. Your friends sound like they shouldn’t be making you the butt of the joke, the attention should be on the bride. Idk why the bridal party and the bride is making such a fuss about you not being a bridesmaid. Sounds like some mean girls. Sorry you’re dealing with it, but don’t let her gaslight you into thinking you ruined her weekend. The bride is the star of the show, one person missing shouldn’t “ruin her bachelorette weekend” sounds like she’s scape goating you.
I think you are perfectly justified.
It sounds like Nicole either does not really know you OR she was being nasty with some calculation.
NTA.
Now time to realise who your actual best friend is. The one who’s been there for you and doesn’t belittle you.
Also, pranks are funny. This one can’t be a prank because it isn’t funny. It’s rude, heartless and dismissive.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine how much your heart hurts. You are NTA and you deserve better friends.
You figured you’d be part of the wedding party, but she never asked. By this time, you should have been asked and bought a dress. It sounds like she’s using you because she knows you will be there and she doesn’t have to reciprocate or appreciate. I would go NC. NTA