Recently my blood father passed away. With that taking place my half sister who was adopted by my father reappeared after 22+ years. In that 22 years she went on a meth bender that resulted in open heart surgery and giving up 3 children, one of them my mother took custody and raised while the others were given up to a church parrish i believe. She ran away to the midwest and now resides in SoCal. On July 30 she asked me for rent for the month of July. I said I’d give her 400 bucks but don’t ask me for any more money moving forward. I honestly don’t fancy a relationship between us.Before this I paid for her flight to attend my father’s funeral out of respect for my father. Outside of the fineral there has been no contact what so ever in 22+ years. After all the childhood trauma she’s done to my family and I am I an asshole for saying no to giving the full amount of rent?
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Recently my blood father passed away. With that taking place my half sister who was adopted by my father reappeared after 22+ years. In that 22 years she went on a meth bender that resulted in open heart surgery and giving up 3 children, one of them my mother took custody and raised while the others were given up to a church parrish i believe. She ran away to the midwest and now resides in SoCal. On July 30 she asked me for rent for the month of July. I said I’d give her 400 bucks but don’t ask me for any more money moving forward. I honestly don’t fancy a relationship between us.Before this I paid for her flight to attend my father’s funeral out of respect for my father. Outside of the fineral there has been no contact what so ever in 22+ years. After all the childhood trauma she’s done to my family and I am I an asshole for saying no to giving the full amount of rent?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My estranged sister of 22+ years asked for rent money and I said no and that I can only off $400.
The action of saying no to sending her money to cover her rent potentially makes me an asshole.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – why are you even giving her $400?
NTA. She went on a journey of self discovery. Now she’s just discovering she doesn’t have enough for rent.
She should take it and shut up. Your step sister could be my sister. A druggie, usually homeless, 3 kids with 3 dads… Live your life and move on without her. NTA.
NTA. She’s grown.
NTA. You’ve been more than generous.
NTA. Never loan money to family. For all you know, this could be going towards booze or other drugs. Or maybe not even her rent. She’s the AH for even asking. I’d go low or no contact tbh.
I guess out of the kindness of my heart. It’s just a crappy situation. She’s wired differently from all her drug use. I don’t think I could reach out to my younger brother after I estranged him. Seems as though her reality may be skewed